Transition to senior school?

[Ardha]

how are other year 7's coping with this?
Not sure where our child is in the scheme of thing, he has gone to a grammer school and is he up to it?
He feels he is bottom of the class at times. But is that just the change from being in a primary where he was top to a grammar school where everyone is at a similar level?

It probably is the grammar, as well as the general change to secondary. It's always a big step.
My Ds went from state primary to a selective indy and he found it a big shock. He had always been at the top of everything despite doing very little work. He suddenly discovered that there were lots of other bright kids, quite a few a lot cleverer than him, and it was a huge shock. The other shock was that he had to actually work to keep his place in class! I keep reminding him that he is in a very select group, and even if he is at or near the bottom in some subjects, if he was put into a typical cross section of kids his age he would still be near the top. I think they can get a bit lost in the rarefied atmosphere of selective education.
Obviously the changes at secondary school are another hurdle - more organisation and self motivation required, homework, whole new set of friends and teachers, different subjects etc. It takes a while to adjust.

Ardha:

DD1 is at a comprehensive and has experienced similar. She also has 3 good friends from primary at a local grammar school and they all have had a bit of a shaky start.

several things - feeling bottom of the class/ feeling alone/ feeling they don't fit in/ feeling overwhelmed or confused/ feeling tired.

I think the pace of grammar school classes can be unrelenting and if you don't keep on top of your work you can feel you're a bit behind. It's also an atmosphere where the priority is highest achievement - so they want swift progress and kids to just 'get it' and move on.

I know that a work colleague's son has found the commuting exhausting - leaving at 7:30 a.m. and returning ~5 or later if he has clubs. Long days and leaving/ coming home in the dark can be very wearing.

January is quite a slump after the excitement of a new school in September, settling in October and then looking forward to Christmas. Suddenly in January you can find it's back to the slog with the next long break quite a long way away.

Socially if you are the only one from your primary or not with your other friends it can seem isolating. There's a tendency to see older kids or kids from your ear chatting and feel they're happy, having fun and you're left out - odds are they also have their worries/ stresses - they just have the advantage of already knowing people from their schools, clubs, tutor groups, etc....

Try and arrange to see old school friends at half-term or keep in touch (texting/ imessage/ ye olde telephone call etc....).

I think one way to resolve loneliness is to join a club or group - so that one or two days a week you're doing something you enjoy and interacting with other kids on a non-academic level. Just having fun and maybe making a few friends.

In terms of work and feeling behind - being honest with yourself - I don't get this maths concept or science lesson/ etc... and using the internet, older siblings, parents, etc... to help you understand better is key. Suffering in silence and not doing a lot to help yourself understand/ catch up just exacerbates the problem.

HTH

If yours is a super selective grammar, they may all be similarish in ability, but there will be some who are extremely bright and will always be top. If your DS is in a grammar school that takes nearer 25% of local children there will be very bright children and ones for whom a grammar school might not have been the best choice because their abilities are similar to those in the secondary modern schools. Only you know if your DS was tutored for years to get the place and is now struggling. If he is not really struggling, surely you can help him see he is doing ok, if not stellar? What are the comments in his work books? Do you have a parents' evening coming up where you can discuss his feelings with the teachers? Also, somebody has to be bottom, but this does not mean they will not succeed in a super selective grammar school. Also, it is possible to improve even if he is bottom. In year 7 lots of children are jostling for position and this is hardly settled after one term.

There is a parents evening coming up.
It isnt the top grammar, there are several in this area.
He does have friends and Plays a lot of football outside of school.
It is a massive change from primary, can't remember it being so bad when I did it but my primary was very old school.
Thanks for comments