I'm a weeny bit cross that there hasn't been a SW/W London Independent schools thread this yr.

[SonorousBip]

Every blinking year there is one - and I read, and nod, and note. Sometimes they go on for months and pages. But this year, when I'm actually doing it - pah, not a sausage.

If anyone wants to do a last minute SPGS/Latymer/Godolphin/ KGS/LEH/WHS/PHS thread, please do! (disclaimer - I'm not doing all of those.). But views welcome. Because I've got several days to form my final views

I used to work with someone who claimed that when he worked from home he wore a suit and tie as if he wasn't dressed 'right' he couldn't work. I don't go that far but when I do work from home I wouldn't be dressed too casually. I think that dressing in uniform may make sense for some children to help them get 'in the zone'.

On going back to school we've had some days off and gone back on others. DD is at a state primary and they are quite fierce about time off.

I wouldn't be too judgy about blazers and badges. I have DC at prep school and both have badges - which they are expected to wear. They only come off when blazers go to the dry cleaners. Come to think if it DD has several badges as well from her school.

Don' get me wrong, I like blazers , DS1 wears one now and looks good. I only have a problem with packs of boys in blazers when it says in bold type 'school uniform is not expected to be worn' as it did for Hampton . And then all the extra stuff for interview as in every badge or award ever given ( the like of which don't even exist at my sons' school ) .

I think schools are trying to level the playing field by saying no uniform and interviews are just a chat and select the best candidates and it just feels a little bit of an underhand way to gain an advantage and make others feel uncomfortable .

Obviously may be a massive pile of Mccains's on my shoulders

I can see why children would wear uniform if they are going back to school after the exams, but for Saturday exams/interviews, it's just WEIRD!!

I think the prep-school uniforms at entrance exams are a bit like estate agents putting a sign in front of your house. It doesn't do much to help you sell your house, but it's good PR for the estate agent. The DC would probably be more comfortable in jeans/sweats.

My state school DD wore jeans and a tshirt. She was comfortable. And to be honest, her uniform cardi is covered in badges. Too many in her father's and my opinion. We suggested a bit of editing for the interviews, but she was aghast at the very suggestion.

My DD wore school uniform to the exams when she had to return to school afterwards and was comfortable. She wore jeans and a t-shirt/hoodie for WHS today because she didnt go back to school and was also comfortable (last set of 11+ exams so thoroughly deserved, I think).
Unless we hear from KGS and she has scholarship exams on Weds [where is the laughing hysterically emoji?] Unlikely, as explained above - definitely no Level 6 SATS for her this year!!

Just to give an honest low down on how things work from the perspective of an independent SW London prep (albeit not one with any blazers - or badges for that matter)!

The school my dcs are / were in is co-ed and non-selective. Not known for being academically pushy, but did get them focused for 11 plus exams from around January in Year 5. All parents have a meeting with the head around this time to discuss options for possible future schools. The head is quite good at managing parents expectations (!) and has been known to refuse to write references in cases where its felt the child won't have a cat in hell's chance of getting into a particular school! Having said that, once "reasonable" school choices are made, the head really will "sell" the child on his /her reference and will also get on the phone to individual schools in borderline cases wherever possible.

Everyone is advised to sit a max of 4 schools (some more of a stretch than others) and NOT to tutor as this will be counterproductive (overload / confuse child).

There are 3 sets for Maths and for English. From about the summer half-term in Year 5, they all do a sample Maths paper in class every week (at an appropriate level). These are past papers from a range of schools. The same happens in English - comprehensions and short-story writing under timed conditions. They do some reasoning, but not much as this varies so much from school to school. They often mark their own papers and discuss as a class.

They were getting a timed story or comprehension every weekend with some timed maths as well, plus maths twice in the week -all geared towards the exams. So really there wasn't time for any tutoring!

They had a mock interview in school in the Autumn term of Year 6. They were told to just "be yourself, but on a good day", make eye contact, that kind of thing. They were not told whether to wear uniform or not on the day.

Of course the whole of Jan was fairly hideous, but they all got into their first choice schools and then basically went on trips, did plays and whatever else they fancied until the end of the year.

How much of an advantage they had is hard to gauge, however - nearly half the intake at dd's current school (Latymer Upper) were from state schools; some of these schools no doubt better than others. I don't think a good independent school can make children any "cleverer" - a bright child will be just that, regardless of where they're coming from to sit the exams. Maybe though the parents with children at independents are simply more guided through the process so there are less surprises?

Anyway, don't mock the blazers - when your dcs get all their offers they will soon be joining the ranks! Firm handshakes and good eye-contact all round! (And its not all a bad thing -really)!

We are on final exam today and DH is in charge of logistics. DD not wearing uniform - suspect she is trying to work out if she can get away with some eye-liner without him noticing

Amidaiwish, we have not heard from KGS regarding scholarship exam ( my dd has 10+ offer)

It is nice when it's all over. Good luck everyone today

Alana1975, if you have a 10+ place do you have to sit 11+ as well?! Isn't the point of 10+ that you get to put your feet up for a year? Seems a bit unfair to your DC to me.

Sitting 11+ is only for potential scholarship purposes when you already have the offer from 10+ in your pocket.
Not had any call backs - DS off sick today and will be for a few days I think, sickness, fever and throat so not good and wouldn't be able to sit any exams anyway!

Oh I see thanks waitingandhoping2015. Hope your DS is better soon. There are a lot of bugs around from what I hear.

Yes, she tries for scholarship. She sat only 2 schools so I thought she has an easy life and sent her for 11+ I KGS :)

Amidai - the blazers and badges really bring out the bolshy teen in me too, which also makes me question why we're thinking of opting out of the state sector.

Sanaya - thanks so much for your detailed explanation of what goes on in the 'other side'. In my son's primary, there's precisely no preparation or guidance, nor would I expect there to be. However, I'd like there to be a head to write the reports, which is something we don't have at the moment...

I wonder what difference it makes. My son won't have a glowing or pushy head's report (not sure if he even has one at all), but surely the secondaries must take these with a pinch of salt?

I think the main differences are:

a) in borderline cases or if a child has dramatically underperformed then having a prep head who is trusted by the secondaries to make an intervention would be helpful. Obviously those in state primaries don't have that option.

b) we found it really hard to make my son do the extra work because he, quite naturally, pointed to all his friends who weren't. He is not in a culture of masses of homework (or any for that matter) and every comprehension was a battle, until we bought an xbox to bribe him. If he knew that all his class were doing the same comprehension/maths paper then it would have been easier.

c) we have no guidance as to where my son is at relative to others trying for the exams (he's top or topish of the class at his school but what this means in comparison to others, I don't know). However, it's not hard to work out which schools are most selective. We haven't, however, gone for a 'banker' because for us that would be any of the three state secondaries which we've put on our CAF, all of which would be preferable to a banker private.

d) stamina or lack of it. I get the impression that kids at prep schools are used to being worked really hard in a way that my boy isn't. He comes out of the 2.5-3 hour exams absolutely spent. There is no way he could go to school afterwards, even if I wanted him to, he just comes home and groans on the sofa. The blazer kids were all bouncing around talking about how they were going back to school or were going on the intranet to pick up their homework for the day. Oh and often how easy the papers were, argh.
He also couldn't have done more schools than he did (3) for the same reason.
Or is my boy a total wimp?

KGS sports scholarship testing is this fri 16th... I guess not being called for that would be a bad sign...

Farewell as I said way back down the thread, I have done it both ways, from an overseas equivalent of a good state school, but deeply ideologically opposed to selective schools, and a South West London Prep and honestly I preferred the former. There is a tendancy for parents to think there has to be this endless repetition of test papers but my DD in the Prep became jaded by it all, I would not like Sanaya have dreamt of putting her through more, as some did. And the general level of parental anxiety is deeply unhelpful.

And the schools do not want the well rehearsed, they deliberately set questions that bright pupils will be able to do regardless of preparation, hence the surprising VR tests. Generally they are good at identifying the brightest and once there you will find plenty of bright state school pupils with minimal tutoring. Clearly there is going to be difficulty at the borderline, as nomoresleep said especially with 1000 plus applicants but then all sorts of factors influence the decision, performance at interview, creativity and imagination, logical thinking, talents such as music and sport. Having a proactive Head, realistic choices and lots of prep may make a difference, it may not.

I know it does not seem possible but honestly in a couple of months and certainly in a year when the vast majority will have children going to the schools that they will be happy and achieve at, you will wonder what all the fuss was about. With both of mine now at very good unis with other very bright students from all sorts of backgrounds, gosh even state schools in the pits of the league tables, it really does all seem like some mad dream

However not in any way to denigrate the current worry of the uncertainty and seeing your children, as it feels, judged.

At our interview for St Catherine's, we were waiting in reception opposite a very sweet girl (who I have often seen with her mum at the gym). Navy blazer, with two ribbons with about 6 badges on each ribbon. My DH was joking about it secretly I felt quite intimidated and suggested DD had worn her Mark Warner skiing medals, her walk to school week badge and her safe to cross the road badge.

Along with her obviously state school uniform....

God this is worse than the 2WW when I was doing IVF!

Farewell - no he is not a wimp! Good luck to your ds whatever schools he is going for.

Tbh both dh and I were state educated all the way and had never considered anything else for our kids - that was until dd1 did not get any of the state primary offers that we had hoped for. Once you are drawn into the independent sector, its like a conveyor belt that's hard to jump off.

I don't remember having any homework at primary level (obviously going back a bit here)! At my dcs' school, the homework did feel very relentless in the term leading up to the 11 plus. Turning up without having done it was simply NOT an option. I was never sure whether this was simply a sign of the times or the specific culture of indie preps.

As I said, a child who is working at Level 6 (whatever that is)? will be working at that level whether at state or indie (with good enough teachers). I do however, credit my dds' school with giving her exam technique and discipline in a way that I could never have instilled (without daily "head ons" that is). All children react differently to teachers, as we know.

Who knows how much emphasis senior schools put on references? They must realise that heads vary in their commitment / vested interest in writing superb reports for all? You would hope so anyway.

I too have witnessed the stripey blazers. It might be a bit cringey, but should by no means be intimidating. It simply would not have occurred to these boys or their parents that you could turn up in anything else! Just like you would not wear your oldest jeans to the interview for that job you always wanted. Hopefully anyone who gets an interview in their preferred school will understand how fortunate they are and grab it with both hands -especially when so many very able children will not have been offered that opportunity.

Darkeyes the brightly braided blazers were around when my DDs sat, but not the badges, that is a new weapon of intimidation. I am quite sure that at the senior schools it will be a source of equal amusement since they constantly battle peer pressure to keep them vaguely decent tidy. I remember the cartoon in the school newspaper of a Year 7, big school back pack, long skirt, long socks, coat, entry card on a lanyard around your neck. Year 9, handbag, with school papers all messily crammed into a large ring binder folder covered in borderline offensive graffitti, why bother skirt, laddered tights, no coat even in a polar vortex, unauthorised pashmina around neck.......... Not admittedly at St Catherine's where they are good at keeping the skirts below the knickers longer but the pressures are the same.......

Thank you to those who've responded to my post. Poisonwood you're absolutely right, ultimately this is just a short period of madness, but it is horrible that feeling of your child being judged.

If he were very bright it wouldn't matter, but he's not an outlier in anyway and probably will be borderline on the exams. And he is staggeringly inarticulate. Gorgeous, lovely, compassionate but hopeless at eye contact and expressing himself so I don't think the interview will carry him through.

I just wish that everybody went to their local state and no child had to go through this. It's just the fact that we have the money to pay and an above averagely academic child that has pushed us here, I think. That and the fact that since we're neither religious nor musical, it feels like our all-comers comprehensive has much of the more motivated children skimmed off.

Haha Poisonwood, bet the Y9s don't have the skills either to make pencil skirts in their needlework classes (I know, what classes?) in Waterloo Road comprehensives like the one I attended in the late 70's.

Feeling so relieved...one more to go Friday, and then wait...for the next round!

These blazers turned up on the summer term introduction day as well, terrifying DD who thought she was the only one who did not know anyone.

On state vs private, I would not worry too much espcially if your school regularly sends students to the senior schools. The senior schools will be used to differences in preparation. They then have the advantage of being able to track how different students got on. So if they regularly see over prepared Prep kids fade or kids from ordinary state primaries blossom, they can factor that in, in following years.

And it is not all one way. DD did virtually no VR/NVR at her prep. Quite a number in her Yr 7 intake had tried Tiffin and been tutored by the legendary Mrs W.

Having said that, I think there can be an advantage if a school, from either sector has a track record in sending good students to a particular secondary and where the Head has built a rapport with the admissions staff.

Tell you what, this is playing havoc with my no drinking Monday to thursday rule! Good to see about St Catherine's. I love their uniform. Surely that's as good a reason as any yes I am that shallow to pick a school?

DD also not wildly academic. Got her lovely reference yesterday and she's predicted straight 5a. I thought she was on track for a 6 in literacy but there you have it.

Waves goodbye to thoughts of LEH and ups prayers for St Catherine's.

So few got level 6 last year in literacy (