6th Form boarding school for Italian academic girl

[Italianmama67]

Hello everyone!
My DD (15 in Dec) would like to study in England for her 6th Form, from Sept. 2016. She's very academic (always very top grades in all subjects), sporty (for pleasure), she likes music (she plays the guitar and sings in a rock band) and art. Active and enthousiastic. She can speak English very fluently, maybe needs to improve the written language.

I hope you can give us some good advice. Already read many threads about this topic, but I'm really confused. She comes from the Italian school system which differs from yours... more subjects, traditional way of teaching and studying and different syllabuses.

We're looking for

• a really full boarding co-ed school
• an academic school, but not too rigid, where she can learn and flourish
• a place with a limited number of EAL (she really WANTS to learn English as a native speaker!!!)
• a place where she can enjoy music and sport for pleasure (for everyone, not only for the excellence)
• don't know wether IB or A-Ls, maybe IB
• with good transport links (she would come home for holidays, mid terms...)
• excellent pastoral care

I really thank you for all the info. you'll give us!

I got in by passing the selection and being really honest about myself and what wanted?

No - you do not have to have done voluntary work as such, but certainly it helps if you show understanding of the mission and you are someone who does a lot out of school. I went back to help out with the selection of Italian students as well so I have some first hand knowledge - kids who simply want an academic experience do not generally make it in. You have to really want the whole experience; the selection lasts for 2-3 days and they are pretty good at sussing kids out over that time.

The English is a non issue; after UWC (I went to the Hong Kong one) I went to Oxbridge to do an essay based subject and had no major issues; my Chinese roommate, who had zero English when she arrived, went to Harvard. It's true that if you end up in China your English may be slightly less good than if you end up in UWC Wales. However, I think that that may be more then offset by the fact that you will learn some Mandarin?

In any case I agree, you cannot bank on a UWC offer. And for boarding schools I would look outside London, as all the ones I know of (I live in South London) around here are weekly boarders really...

oh - and I see you are also looking at Marlborough etc. If you think marlborough is the right place for her, I doubt she would enjoy the UWC experience... These schools have a completely different ethos and outlook - you have to focus on that as well as the academics...

CH is a lovely school my son is now in his 4th yr and enjoying himself. I have to say though he's not met many quirky pupils!

Totally bonkers uniform - but recognisable and most importantly, for many parents, free and a complete leveler.

They all march in to Dinner, to the school band playing. All totally harmless and stems back to Tudor times when the school was founded.

Full boarding, with more and more international students joining.

Bede's, in East Sussex, is a lovely, happy place that has really raised its game academically in recent years. Music is of a very high standard and the sports facilities are excellent. It's another one you should really consider, also handy for Gatwick, but unlike CH, you get to wear normal clothes!

Some friends looked at Bedes they really liked it for a whole variety of reason, very caring ethos for example but one of the big factors in it's favour for them was that it offered weekly and maybe even flexi boarding!
For me the concept if marching into dinner behind a band absolutely epitomises the sort of meaningless ritual that has me running for the hills, many are I'm sure more tolerant of all that kind of codswallop or even more bizarrely IMO actually like it!
Some friends DC has a terrible time at Stowe and others we know with DC's their don't exactly go into raptures over it, all their DC's seems to have had rocky episodes there.

I have DCs at Uppingham. Fantastic school - not sure why it gets a bad press on here. My DC are very different but both love it. Sport, music, drama are fantastic. Academically it caters for all abilities. My DC are in different houses and the pastoral care from house masters and all staff around school is fab. It is full boarding , very down to earth and very friendly.

Many thanks to everyone!
The real problem for me is that all schools seem fantastic and similar. It's difficult to grasp the true ethos and atmosphere.
My dd would like the spirit of the Atlantic College a lot. It would be a different choice, based on other assumptions. But the entrance exams will be very late compared to all other schools and the selection is too hard. I read that students from Friuli and Veneto have some reserved places, so a little bit more possibilities. But we are not from there...
I guess that as she loves the ethos of the Atlantic Coll she wouldn't like Marlbourough....

I suspect none of the schools mentioned above which also apogee full boarding will be like the Atlantic College, this is not what most UK boarding schools are about.

I might describe my dd, some clues for your "do's & don't's".
She's an enthusiast independent determined girl, always involved in some kind of activity (music, sport, concerts, theatre) which she does with passion. Like all other girls of her age she likes having fun with friends(gs &bs), she loved the pgl camp activities (most Italian girls wouldn't: too muddy, too boyish, too basic...) and of course she likes clothes, but not in her mind all the time. Definitely not a 'boychaser'. She sometimes finds it difficult to have deep friendships, as girls IHO are often a bit (it's not nice to say, I know) silly style, 'only boys & clothes'. She's not quirky, but likes to be free to express herself+ her creativity. Not conformed, she acts according to what she believes right, but also tries to mediate. And of course she likes to study.
Where can she find students similar to her?
No snobbish schools, no too formal education, no military discipline, no too many short exeats, but longer ones are very welcome

Happy, yes I suppose so. But I think it might be an alternative. I meant sth connected with the atmosphere. One is smart, high society, if I understand , the other is idealist, ethical. Tell me if I'm wrong. Both excellent.

In the spirit of full disclosure, i'm another Uppingham parent (waves to petrova). I'm not sure why it gets a bad press on here. Full boarding (a big factor for us because we live overseas), plenty of sport, music and academics (important to me because I want a balanced education for my DCs - they might not be Oxbridge material, but they are good all-rounders), co-ed. There are a number of overseas pupils in the sixth form every year, and they seem to settle in very well. Long holidays, but only one fixed weekend out a year (another big factor for us as overseas parents). Boys and girls seem to have genuine friendships.

Based on my (limited) experience I wouldn't touch Stowe with a bargepole. Oundle/Oakham/Rugby all worth a look (it was the housemaster who sold Uppingham to us).

Thanks Jennifer and Petrova! Personal experience is of course subjective, but from the inside you can touch the true atmosphere! And thanks MmeMorrible, Derek Mummy Jenny for your suggestions!

From reports and reviews I thought Stowe was a nice place to be. Why does it get a bad press?

From what you say, it sounds like she has a chance at UWC actually - best of luck! (although I am not sure I understand your issue with the timing. You may lose the deposit on the boarding school, but surely you are going to make that up in 'saved fees' given that UWC is near free?).

I think you need to plan in a 'tour of England' for next summer - and fit in a few visits to schools. My experience is that you cannot tell whether a school is a good place for your daughter until you go there and see it in person (you need to be there too - at that age her views are important but you need to be happy too - otherwise you will end up worried sick whilst she is away). We moved back from Italy to the UK when my daughter was about to start reception and we picked a few schools over the internet... Out of the three we ended up seeing, we immediately eliminated one (we hated it), and out of the two remaining offers we had, it was obvious which one we felt was better for her (even if the facilities were not as good).

You're right, New Londoner! She has only to try and see what happens! And I have to cut short my list or I'll tour like Ulysses, around and around England!

Some of you knows if I'm late for applications? Not for the deadlines, which will be around next September, but for the waiting lists... Do they have an order of arrival to follow, besides the entrance exams results? The first ones who have applied have more possibilities than the last ones, or it's only the exam to decide? And, after the exam, do they follow a chronological order of application to offer a place?

As long as you apply before the dead line I don't think it matters when you apply. Most schools looking for good 6 th form applicant are interested in academic ability firstly and then extra curricular activities etc, when you applied before the dead line is irrelevant.
When looking at schools don't be overly influenced by Olympic size swimming pools, 200 acres of manicured playing fields or Mediaeval buildings, all these things are great but they don't make a school right for your DD. Years ago we went on a tour of a very famous school, half way round a father on the tour said very loudly, "for 35k+ a year of course there going to have Mediaval manuscripts, an Olympic size swimming pool and a wonderful art room, what a I want to know is what is the ethos underpinning this place?"
This is what you need to try and find out and it's not easy schools are clever marketing machines. Talk to as many people as possible, we learnt a lot about one school mentioned above after (with stunning house and grounds) after we missed the group tour of a boarding house and were shown around by a matron on our own. I came away feeling there was a Lord of the Flies type ethos and rejected it. Friends later sent their DC's there and my impression turned out to be correct, the matron did nothing wrong but it was just a gut feeling I got from talking to her. Talk to pupils not those selected to show you round but others. I looked at a school for a friend whose outside of the UK, the facilities are very middle of the road to say the least but my guide was very busy or at least said she was and left me a couple of times so that I could talk to pupils on my own, I learnt a lot about school and my gut feeling told me it was a nice caring school with happy pupils, I was right the girl is there and thriving.
After your initial visits narrow down your choices and go back, keep talking to people ask lots of questions. I was underwhelmed by ny DS's school at the open day, but had already arranged to meet a couple of HM's after my third visit I began to see what the school was all, By then I'd talked to boys and other staff, about 7 years later and we don't regret our choice. The teachers/ethos is what I thought it would be it just took a while to see it. Finally don't assume something will be there, if it really matters to you ask. A friend with a golf mad DS never asked about golf just assumed he could play and then moaned when she discovered her DS couldn't play. My DS's school will not let boys leave a day early at the end of term/half term etc it doesn't bother me but it might if I lived outside of the UK; ask. Look on the school calendar at parent evening etc, there usually at the begining or end of a holiday exeat, our old prep,used to do them at the begining it was a complete pain I had to take time off work at the end would have suited us better, ok not a major influencing factor but something to consider.
No school is perfect but decide before you visit what really matters to you and you DC, don't be overly influenced by others view, also go with you gut feeling.

I really thank you HappyGardening. A lot of things to take into account. Too many...I'm depressed!!! I know that what is right for me might not be right for you, but do you mind telling me briefly what you think of these schools

Sevenoaks
Oakham
Uppingham
Rugby
Oundle
Westminster
Malverne
Canford

I know West. and Seven. are not true full b. I know you like Kings Canterbury (read a lot of threads) and that Wellington has not a good press on here. Might I ask you if your DC went to one of these above?
Sorry, if I may be too personal.
Advice from all of you is always very very welcome! :)

What do I think of these schools? If they were my choices and I wasn't necessarily looking for full boarding and my DC has secured a place at all of them then fairly obviously you would be out of your mind to turn Westminster down. Basically it's in a different league to all the others and it's in a global city with all the opportunities and cultures associated with that.
Sevenoaks I don't know that well but all who I know who've looked at or sent their DC's too it talk very highly of it.
Oakham popular on here a big school with day weekly full boarders, good solid school with matching good solid exam results.
Uppingham only full boarding all parents we know there are twin set and pearl county types who are conservative with a small c I doubt there's many eccentrics there. Again good solid exam results. Rugby popular on here full boarding not pretentious or smart too far for many London parents again a good solid school with good solid exam results.
Oundle again big, recently received very bad press on here but that may mean nothing at every school they'll be a couple of very disgruntled parents. As my DH always says there are two sides to every story. A friend sent their DS there was slightly disappointed especially as he struggled to settle but two sides to every story.
Malvern is weekly boarding I was talking a lady in the irritating Waitrose cafe queue who told me that, again a solid school, they were very pleased with it, definitely not full of smart parents where dad is a banker.
Canford popular on here a mixture of weekly boarding and compulsory weekends has been in the last labelled by some parents on here and by friends of ours as the coed alternative to win Coll or the school to look at if your DS doesn't make it into Win Coll but in reality a very different animal.
Frankly Westminster and maybe Sevenoaks aside there all pretty much of a muchness. It just comes down to which one you feel most comfortable with I suspect your DD will do equally well at all of them.
I've been reading back over your OP you say she wants somewhere where music is for all. I'd definitely check that out I don't have musical DS's but from talking to a couple of very musical boys at DS2"s school I get the impression that participation in anything musical i.e. playing in an orchestra, let alone playing a concerto is only for the very serious musician. So I would look into that very carefully.
Sport is probably less of an issue as must schools encourage even the most cack handed pupil to play something, although there are obviously less opportunities for those in lower teams, and in the 6 th form sport can be more shall we say optional with pupils doing a strange sport called "health and fitness" which is very tiring as the main requirement is to sign your name on an attendance sheet.
Look into transport links because many more rural schools provide buses to the nearest town/London etc but if you want flexibility then you'll either have to pay for a cab or be in a school close to a railway station which frankly would be my first choice it just gives children more independence.

All will have good pastoral care obviously but excellent pastoral care is a different thing IME. A lot depends on the individual HM's and tutors of course not just the school. We choose out HM because we just had this gut feeling that as an individual he would provide excellent pastoral care, although of course you hope you never need to find out, our feeling was correct, he for us is one of the main reason the school has worked for us, he has truly acted in loco parentis in every sense of the word. Frankly Im stunned by how dedicated and caring he is I'm not sure I would be that dedicated if I was in his shoes and still stay sane and awake. But for all I know other parents at his school have had different experiences of other HMs. Don't be swayed by a smart suit, or a charming personality, when we listened to our HM talking he talked with a very genuine fondness he was so obviously dedicated and he wS so very interested in and concerned for the boys in his house and really knew them, he saw this as his job.
A few schools do have an excellent reputation St Edwards in Oxford would be the one that most prep school heads would recommend if pastoral care was your top priority but not all need this level of pastoral care.
Finally narrow that list down you'll just get over whelmed, if it's proper full boarding you're really after then scrub off the list all of those which aren't full boarding, nice as they maybe they're just not suitable for you. We did this, bar 1 a Westminster equivalent and we eventually turned down the place down because it wasn't full boarding, We only considered proper full boarding schools because that is what we wanted and believed in. What else is an absolute must have/mustn't have; we wanted super selective, decide about how important transport links are, where will her guardian be based is it a family friend/relative? Or someone appointed by an agency? If it's the former good transport links and shortish travelling times are important I have a 1 1/2 hour one way driving rule, no one wants to depend 4-5 hours of an exeat weekend travelling around especially on a Sunday evening I know Ive done it. If there's no public transport links or school bus then your guardian will have to do the driving a 3 hour drive one way for your DD is a 6 hour drive for them tedious in the extreme. We wouldn't consider anywhere which had the M25 (my personal hatred) between us and them. I just can't do ridiculous uniform so that excluded a couple, this may appear irrational to many but Im the one paying and doing the driving! I'm a slack hand off, no news is good news parent, I trust the school to get on with the job, I don't want to be bombarded with endless progress reports which I have to access on line, I can't remember the bloody password for a start or to be contacted about every success or failure what am I meant to do about it? But a friend receives progress reports every three week from her DS's boarding school, they email her every time he sneezes, failed to do prep or come top in the class she loves it, what's your view? As I said before if these things matter ask.

Sorry OP a few grammatical errors and typos hope it makes sense. X

If you are asking for personal experiences you might invite people to PM you as an alternative to posting on an open forum.

Massive massive thanks HappyGardening, for the time you have dedicated to answer! I really appreciate that. Your advice is very helpful. XXXX

And I also thank a lot all of you, who have spent your time reading and writing to me. If you have any other suggestions, please let me know!!!XXXX

You're right NeedMoreSleep! Is it possible? Would you like to send your point of view? It will be very very welcome! Many thanks!!! XXXX

Does it have to be coed?
Lots of fab girls schools out there.

We're used to coed. I went to an all girls and I didn't like it. But we're quite open, we may consider it, if we find a very good one. Any in mind?