14 yr old walking home alone at 4 am after school trip

[ladyeve]

Is it acceptable/common practice to suggest to parents that, should they so wish and they (parent) have signed a consent form to this effect, their 14/15 yr old child will be allowed to walk home unaccompanied at 3-4 a.m. after returning from a school trip?

Views and or experience of this matter will be gratefully received

I think it depends how close it is, a friend of mine used to live directly opposite.

I think it depends very much on the circumstance - when I was 14 I lived in rural Sussex, literally nothing ever happened, little traffic on the roads and everyone knew me, so I would quite comfortably walk home from friends very late (parents were also fine with it). Now, living in Central London I really wouldn't let anyone that young walk around at that time without an escort/taxi from a reputable firm.

I don't think that it's unreasonable for a parent to supply money for a taxi if they or another parent can't/don't want to pick their child up in that circumstance. However, over short distances in safer areas I'm sure it would be fine for children to walk themselves home.

The question for the school here is that they have to do a risk assessment of everything to do with the trip. That would surely include what happens if we arrive back at 0400 in the morning - who is collecting the pupils?
There is absolutely no way that the risk assessment would have been accepted at the secondary school I am a governor at, without a very clear statement about how these kids were getting home and "on their own" is definitely not appropriate.
My reaction is to ask the school for a copy of their risk assessment of the trip. If it does not cover that part of the trip, I would not let my children go on the trip because if the school have not covered off that risk issue, what else have they ignored?

It really depends on the circumstances. At 4am, I would probably want to collect them. However, I used to be really annoyed that my DD2's guide leader refused to let her walk the 50yds from the church hall back to our house unaccompanied at 9.30pm, when my DD was 13/14, but insisted on collection by an adult. (There was no such problem with the Karate club that used the same hall)

My 14 year old is bigger and stronger than me. Now, I'm not saying I wouldn't collect him, because I would, I'm just pondering the reasoning behind it being OK to let an unaccompanied woman walk to school at 4am, but not to allow a hulking great teenage boy.

I know young men are more likely to be attacked than any other group, but in a quiet town at 4am (I have one specifically in mind) it doesn't seem likely to happen.

tiggy, I don't drive, so if I was to collect my son, it would have to be on foot and he would have to carry (or drag on wheels) his own case anyway, and it would be a ridiculously short distance to drive.

I find it totally idiotic to think any 14 year old should be allowed to walk anywhere alone at 4 Am . I don't think it is ideal even for a 6ft 14 stone man to walk home alone at 4 Am never mind a 14 year old. The mind boggles at the stupidity of schools and parents to even consider allowing it.

A 14 year-old, however big (and I have one who is much taller than me) is still a child, and vulnerable, and parents need to make arrangements for that child.
Mine is quite streetwise and confident, but had to drop him today at the airport to meet a school group, and suggested to save time that I drop him , go and park, and then catch up with him inside.
He said he preferred us both to park and go in together.
He is still a child, and I respect his anxieties, even if with his mates and others he appears adult-like.

smokepole surely it depends on the area? A well lit residential one might be perfectly safe.

I was just pondering, really. I understand the need for blanket rules on this kind of thing.

I'm a 6' woman & I walk a couple of miles home at 4am on my own all the time; it's a perfectly routine thing for me to do after a night out.

As a parent, it'd depend on the circumstances as to whether I'd be happy with a 14yo doing this. In a group of friends, all living round the corner from each other a mile or so from the school, then probably yes. On his/her own, walking several miles, no.

As a teacher, I'd definitely not be officially condoning it. Asking for trouble if anything did go wrong.

Why are the parents not collecting?

If it was summer, already light and the house was next to the school and I had a toddler I couldn't leave alone....then I would be tempted. Otherwise hell no!

But during the day y7s walk home after residential trips..... At what time does it become officially unacceptable?

I dont know, at a time when most people are asleep, and those who are up have no real business being awake?

[para deleted by MNHQ]

smokepole

Schools have to consider it because some parents refuse to pick their children up.

I know this from bitter experience.

The point to consider here is what the options are for the school. Presumably they cannot go and drop off each child individually. They have to let parents know when they are getting back, and that they should be there to do the handover. If they do not want to be there to pick up the child, they have to say so. This in itself makes parents think about the issue, as here.

I imagine that the option is a negative one (have any parents replied yes?) to deal with the inevitable wait at the end of a school trip when parents don't turn up (very annoying), and teachers are left with the child, so that if a teenager says 'I don't have to wait for anyone, don't worry about me, I'm off home, it's really close, I can walk it', teacher can say 'no you're not, you have to wait for your parents, they said so'.

I don't expect the school to take responsibility but would expect the phrasing on the letter to be something like 'the children will return to school at 4am and will need collecting. School staff will not be available to stay with the children after 4.10am and you need to ensure that your child has an appropriate way to get home at this time.'

It would help if they didn't arrange trips that resulted in children getting home in the wee small hours.

I would never let my 14 yr old DC walk home alone at that hour. I wouldn't walk alone at that time either and the town we live in is small and supposedly safe. I grew up in London and used to walk a couple of miles home from the Youth Club at midnight at that age. I felt, and to some extent do still feel, more safe in London because there always seems to be somebody around, but here in Sussex the streets are deserted after 9pm. I wouldn't let my DC go on the trip if the only option was walking home at that time.

What BoneyBackJefferson said. Schools have to cover the eventualities in these circumstances.

The letter is trying to prompt parents into supplying information in advance. So that accompanying staff, who have already spent days of their holiday with other people's children, don't have an additional four hour wait for parents to remember what arrangements they made to collect offspring. Staff will then know who to wake up at that time of day, and get an early resolution to the problem.

There may be a few families who live within 100m of the drop off point - but not many. OP - can we seen the wording of the letter? IME it would be unusual to suggest that letting a 14 yr old walk home unaccompanied was acceptable. If this is a "generic" letter which would also be used for 18 yr olds, then that's just idiotic - letters should be tailored to the circumstances and age of those concerned.

Joanofarchitrave - yes different timing would be more civilised all round, but the extra cost of daytime arrival might well put the trips out of the reach of many families.

TBH when I did a 1am pickup from school it was quite a laugh as they were late and all of us parents were hanging around together chatting and laughing.

5 am drop off ditto

offensive that parents are not there on time to let the teachers go off duty