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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Yr7 Detention on fifth week

46 replies

jennyt19 · 13/10/2014 21:46

Don't know what to do with ds. He's on his fifth week at a very good school and he's already got detention. They operate a signature system whereby they get a signature for bad behaviour and once they have 5 signatures they automatically get detention. The signatures are for silly things like talking in class, forgetting his book or homework. He got his 6th signature today for "being silly in class and lack of effort"!! He's got the most signatures in his class and we're now worried. Doesn't bode well for the rest of his school life!

OP posts:

PureMorning · 15/10/2014 07:08

Ds started year 7 and has bad two

One for forgetting homework and on for bringing the wrong trainers to pe

I do think the shoe one was heavy handed. It was within the first week and hslf the kids bought in traners ratger than boots because they all thought it was indoor pe on that day.

I didnt get involved though, i might not agree but its the rules and we knew them when we picked our choice

He quite enjoyed the dets. In the first they were allowed on the internet and in the second a year 8 girl called him cute

FriendlyLadybird · 15/10/2014 12:01

This was about the time my DS had his first detention, for forgetting to bring in his homework.

He was relieved to discover that it was nothing like that thing in Harry Potter where the lines got cut into his hands.

It reduced his anxiety (he'd been very worried about getting a detention) but he hasn't forgotten his homework since. Discipline system working.

Lilythewonderdog · 15/10/2014 13:02

Oh come on folks, OP isn't suggesting the detentions are wrong merely highlighting they aren't for really serious misdemeanours like thumping a teacher! And BTW: sometimes teachers are wrong. I knew my older son was being bullied at school... What I wasn't prepard for was that it was a teacher doing the bullying! (Investigated and proved. Action taken. Case closed.)

OP: don't worry... He will calm down and come out the other side.

HibiscusIsland · 15/10/2014 13:53

He quite enjoyed the dets. In the first they were allowed on the internet and in the second a year 8 girl called him cute

My dd would consider it a reward to be allowed on the internet. A friend with a year 7 son is helping him to avoid detentions by making sure he does homework and takes what he needs. She isn't trying to help him avoid detention because she is worried about her son getting into trouble, but because she thinks if he gets a detention he will realise it is not that bad! She wants him to think it is something to be feared!

AChickenCalledKorma · 15/10/2014 16:58

I'm in two minds about this. On the one hand, I agree with others that this is pretty normal for many secondaries, and the things he's getting picked up for need nipping in the bud.

DD1's school has a similar system to yours, only the detention comes after three "cautions".

On the other hand, DD1's friend goes to a school that hands out detentions like confetti. They practically get detention for breathing funny. The rather obvious result is that people pop in and out of detention all the time and nobody feels the remotest shame. I don't know what they do when detention stops being any kind of deterrent.

Misiecle · 15/10/2014 18:27

I think my son is at this school, OP. It's just how they do it; if it helps, last year one of the boys in my son's class racked up 13 - a record. The entire class was also put on report, which was a saga in itself. My son went the other way and will do anything to avoid getting a signature, which is causing perfectionism problems of its own. They are very strict about getting to class in time, with all your books etc - but wouldn't you expect that? My ds has turned out to be brilliant at preparation and knowing what he needs for the day and week ahead - skills he'll take with him through life. I also think the class is expected to show good behaviour by example; I know that they are a lively class and take some managing - but the numbers getting signatures now, in year 8, has dropped right off.

Ginandtonictime · 16/10/2014 12:52

OP - this first half term is always the toughest on year 7s. The transition from primary of secondary is so acute and they don't get much warning in primary school as to what is expected at secondary school. Its no surprise that some of them ricochet off school rules unexpectedly often. He'll settle down don't worry - and please resist the temptation to make assumptions about the next 5 years of his academic life - based on 6 weeks!

ElephantsNeverForgive · 16/10/2014 13:06

This is six of one and a half dozen of the other IME. Both pupils and schools are at fault!

Yes, Year 7 is a steep learning curve and they are expected to be hyper organised. They are also expected to be grown up and sensible while trying to make new friends (ie feel compelled to chat, show off and be a bit silly). This is fine up to a point.

But in the last two or three years it's got ridiculous, DD2 seems to get a mark on her card for breathing, while DD1 got to Y11 without a single formal detention.

DD1 is a dizzy dyslexic and DD2 was at primary "Impeccably Behaved, according to her report".

No DD2 isn't, impeccably behaved she can be a bit silly and a bit forgetful, but so was DD1 at her age. Schools response has got far stricter and I'm not sure it increases the respect the children have for their teachers. Far more it makes them think the HT and SLT who make these rules are idiots.

gleegeek · 16/10/2014 13:18

Elephants makes a good point. If punishments are seen as draconian and unfair, then children will rebel against them. A warning for forgetting homework and an expectation that it will be on the teacher's desk by the next morning is fine, with a detention given if not carried out. A detention for forgetting homework - first offence - seems unnecessarily harsh IMO. My dd is living in fear of detention, she is almost too well behaved and diligent, and will be mortified if she is told off. The boy she sits next to is already in double figures for detentions. Does he care? No not at all! But dd worries she will be tarred with the same brush

Lilythewonderdog · 16/10/2014 13:32

Elephant I agree 100%. They need consistency, not rules for the sake of it.DS HOY has decided his year will get 2 detentions every time they are naughty... One from the teacher and one from him. This just makes him look like an idiot because no other year has this inflicted on them. He's just using them as a pawn in his empire building. Pathetic.

alardi · 16/10/2014 13:46

Oh dear, for OP.

DS only in yr6 now but if his school turns out as strict as some here he'll be lucky to have a single day in yrs7-11 without detention. At least I'm ready for that, now.

DS-yr10 gets at least one detention a fortnight (never does homework at home); he couldn't care less.

mummytime · 16/10/2014 14:51

For children from my DCs primary, the ones who go to the secondary with a reputation for "strictness" settle in the quickest - as its not as bad as they thought (and they do tend to be more lenient with year 7s, so unlikely to get detentions for being late to lessons for the first weeks). The ones who go to the school "like" their primary school tend to find it a huge shock.
My DC have on the whole enjoyed/not minded their detentions. It often gives the teacher sometime to give some input if they've been struggling.

luxaroma · 16/10/2014 16:38

I agree Elephants, some of the rules make the teachers look like idiots when the pursue them - I often think this about the obsession over uniform, it goes a step too far at dc's school. They must wear their blazer or they will get detention, even when they are melting with the heat. They can ask to remove their Blazers but they have been refused in the past....no one could respect that rule, we all feel temp differently...it just seems overly controlling and a bit silly.

Coolas · 16/10/2014 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

jennyt19 · 18/10/2014 20:19

Hi everybody, Thank you for your responses. My husband hates me going on this website so I don't go on that often. My DS seems to be doing a bit better at present (touch wood!!). Both his form teach and head of y7 have spoken to him. My concern wasn't that the school were being silly punishing him, it was that my ds is being silly a bit too often and needs to start focusing. The problem we have with him is that we got him into a really good school that he wanted to go to and sometimes it feels like he may blow it. That may sound a bit drama queen'ish but he travels on the bus with a boy who is in y8 of the same school who claims that when he was in y7 if he'd had one more detention he would have been expelled. I didn't know there was a limit to the number of detentions.

Hope you all have a good evening.

OP posts:

pointythings · 18/10/2014 21:15

My husband hates me going on this website so I don't go on that often.

Words fail, OP...

There isn't a maximum number of detentions that will get your DS expelled, btw. Schools are penalised for expelling pupils, so they don't do it unless for very serious offences. But let's hope your DS will now settle down and that your DH will wind his neck in about what internet sites you choose to use.

mummytime · 19/10/2014 23:22

There is a very thorough process which a school has to go through before a child can be permanently excluded, detentions are a very mild for of punishment and don't really form part of that process. I don't know any school which excludes without having gone through a lot of effort to "turn a student around"; unless its for gross misconduct (such as drug dealing on school premises or causing major injury to another).
But on the other hand, school rumour can be very misleading.

Teddingtonmum1 · 20/10/2014 18:19

DS had detention on week 3 for not doing his prep properly ( his a weekly boarder ) when he complained I pointed out mummy wasn't there to 'fix things' for him anymore and he needs to suck it up and make sure it doesn't happen again. Not quite sure that's what he was expecting but hey ho !!!

Orangeanddemons · 20/10/2014 18:31

Am I the only one who thinks its rotten for a Y 3 to geta detention for forgetting homework? They are 8 FGS. They don't even need homework at that age

catslife · 20/10/2014 19:37

Orangeanddemons This is Y7 i.e. the first year of secondary school. The pupils would be 11 or 12 years old.

notquiteruralbliss · 21/10/2014 20:00

I think mine topped the school leader board for behaviour points (anti house points ) in year 7. She is pretty disorganised and unlikely ever to follow the more petty rules so accepts detentions as an annoying consequence of being at school. Fortunately, she enjoys most things about school (including the academic side) and (now she is out of year 7) the teachers are realising that she is what she is.

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