Is this bullying?

[Twiz75]

My son is in yr 7 of a Kent grammar school. He is loving the lessons and has made a lovely friend. However, he is having a tough time with some of the other boys in his form. Just a few examples; saying 'retard alert' when he walks in to class, throwing conkers at him on the way out of school, taking his pen out of his pocket and running off with it laughing etc. I have e maIled his form tutor about other things and she's dealt with it but nothing's changed. I don't know whether I should be letting his form tutor know what's going on or to leave my son to fight his own battles. He isn't into rugby and is a bit of a geek I suppose. He's too nice for his own good and doesn't fight back, and I dont want him to have to. He doesn't understand why nobody likes him. Is this normal banter or should I be concerned?

Get in touch with the teacher again - if it's still going on then she has failed to deal with it.

It might be normal banter to those dishing it out (though and at 'retard') but the ongoing effects aren't going to be much fun for your ds.

I don't think this is normal banter. I would not hesitate to complain again and to be honest I would go to the head of year as well. The pen thing and the conkers could be "normal" provided he is not the only one being targeted and they are all messing about doing this sort of thing. But the "retard alert" comment suggests targeted bullying and is totally unacceptable.

It is definitely bullying and the teacher should be dealing with it better. As a teacher I would be selecting one or two of the group, and breaking up the cycle, or catching them in the act and punishing accordingly.
I just broke up a bullying gang this week with positive results, it can be done and any teacher should consider it part of their job to do so!

If teacher had dealt with it, then it would have stopped. Email his form tutor and cc the head of year with the latest incidents and ask how they will be proactive in dealing with this bullying behaviour. Unfortunately if its not reported they will assume the problem is not happening.

Horrible and sounds like bullying to me.

Do you have a copy of the school's policy on bullying? Far too many schools seem to totally disregard their own policy when faced with an actual case of bullying.

It needs to be nipped in the bud...email to tutor cc. to head of year, reference their policy and ask for details of steps they will take to end this.

Oh and the pecking order to which Coolas refers; my DS also y7 has never, and probably will never, reach the top of any pecking order. Thankfully he has never aspired to be.

In our experience 'top dog' status has always come about by way of cruelty to others, too big an ego and a serious lack of empathy.

Not traits that I wish for my son.

He will doubtless do what he has always done; develop a few happy friendships with kind boys and girls and go through school largely oblivious to the machinations of the in-crowd.

Good luck - hope school sorts this very soon.