Year 12: Is everyone else's kids getting on fabulously?

[andagainandagain]

A month in to Year 12 and AS levels. Dd is struggling to keep up, finding it hard to manage her time with workload, and generally not doing well. This is a big shock for her, she's never felt anything like out of her depth before. She got A* or A at GCSE in each of the subjects she's doing now.
She says all her friends are fine and nobody else is feeling like she is.
I wonder if this is true, or whether she has just lost her perspective on things.
Anyone facing a similar situation out there?

That is lovely mumslife. It definitely helped dd that she knew she wasn't the only one struggling. She has a very good friend who has just started Y12 and is going through the same now but she knows what dd went through last year so hopefully that will help her.

I remember very clearly going home and crying to my mum that I would never be able to do History A Level as it was such a jump up from O Level and I ended up doing it at university.

mrsbartlet & mumslife, & others, you are wonderful. i feel a lot better after reading all this. It's a hard slog isn't it... just got to keep on keeping on...

Andagain a bit late to the thread, but very much where DD1 was last year too. Maybe not so much the workload as no essay writing subjects, but certainly the degree of difficulty in the content.
Also A*/A at GCSE in all 4 AS subjects, by half term report, working at a D - although told that was 'normal'.
Most of her friends were flying, except one who dropped a subject early on and took optional EPQ. DD1 struggled on with a bad subject choice, refused to drop or change it, got a U for it at AS. Also think it cost her a couple of grades elsewhere. Her friend who did the sensible thing, got straight A's at AS.
In DD1's case, it is recoverable on paper, but much will depend on her teachers faith in her when it comes to predictions, if she is to get any offers this year. Fortunately, although a jump from AS to A2, not seeming nearly as bad, but still a tough year ahead.
Guess what I am trying to say is, don't let them be too stubborn to admit to a bad choice and drop or swap something before it's too late.

re the distance folks : DDs college has the largest catchment in the world (8,500 miles) as it is the 6th form for the Falkland Islands.
There are two boarding houses with well over 100 pupils who are not only going through the shock of A level but doing out of reach of their family.

I therefore take comfort that the pastoral system will only let them start 5 if its will result in a good 5
and will drop them back if it will work out
GS was clearly dropped to up the grade point average
colleges and students are on the same song sheet here

My dc seems to be coping now but is definitely working very hard to do so and we've had a few outbursts.

circular - ds has also been thrown by a bad subject choice. He changed as soon as possible to something else, but his first two choices were full up and so he's doing something a bit "out there". He has made an appointment to see the teacher as he's floundering a bit. Luckily it's his fourth choice, and the other three are going well, but the whole affair has taken up oodles of time.

Poor old ds seems a bit down generally. He also has not made any friends yet in his subject groups - he is the only boy in one of his classes and he's not really a Don Juan so it's not of great benefit to him!

Brenda my DS was complaining that there are very few girls in any of his classes! Mind you he isn't a Don Juan either so even if there were I doubt he'd actually make the most of it. I hope your DS sorts out his 4th subject soon.

TalkinPeace that really puts it in perspective. I honestly don't know how DS would cope at the moment with all the stresses if he couldn't come home to us and his bedroom refuge and sound off in the way you can only really do to close family. The pastoral care must be first class.

Brenda I think the switching schools for 6th form also takes its toll. Even when they make friends quickly, still miss their old ones. And takes a bit of getting used to not being known by the teachers.
DD joined a large 6th form (school) only knowing two or three others. Would have been more difficult being a large college.

Well I sat down with dd tonight and we had a chat about organisation. Well it started as a chat, then proceeded to shouting (her), tears (both of us!) and hopefully a good end result.

She says she's really struggling and there is just so much work, so many essays and it's all a bit much and she's not ready for sixth form :( I'm hoping if she sorts out the organisation it'll help her get in control a bit more so stop the helplessness.

We had talked about this before she started and had agreed how she was going to organise things day to day, but she has to learn things the hard way, so had ignored all of that and gone for all the bits of paper stuffed into her bag approach, which oddly enough wasn't working out so well....

She's also quite cross about home study as school have changed things this year and they're only allowed home p4 &5 for home study after half term if all grades are ok. We knew about the half term and grades bit, but last year they were allowed to come in late if 'free'. She's only got 3 p5's free a fortnight due to her timetable. Some of her friends can go early almost every day. She thinks it's very unfair.

Having said that, she says she can't study at home as it's too noisy, so she's probably better staying in the library at school anyway! Sigh.

This is very normal. I did my A levels not that long ago and I too was in for a shock. The transition from an A GCSE is a D at AS level, so you can see why she's struggling. I felt the same shock when I went to uni (after obtaining A A-levels!) and got 34% on my first assignment. She will adapt, don't worry.

DD2 is doing ok so far. We went through year12 with Dd1 last year so DD2 is learning from that as well as using her notes.
She has a big lever arch file with dividers in for each subject and teacher (2 for each subject). She is then transferring notes to individual subject files at home when a topic is finished. She is consolidating her notes as she goes along so she says.
She has had a couple chemistry tests which went ok. The rest of the subjects have tests over the next couple of weeks.
With DD1 last year, she really struggled with physics for the first term. I did try to get her to drop it, but she persevered and worked so hard, ending up with a very well deserved B. Her friend was less fortunate and ended up failing that subject. It is very hard to make a judgement over whether to drop/change a subject or not. DD1 was helped by the fact that her maths was very strong.
As others have said, the 1st term is very hard. Things do get better though!
They need to be organised. They need to ask for help the minute they don't understand something. Buy revision books. Go to any extra lunchtime/after school sessions. They need to do at least 2 hours a night (often more) and more at weekends. Once they finish topics, they need to start looking at relevant questions off past papers (and the mark scheme to see how they should answer).
They also need to find time to have fun, see their friends and relax. DD1 has been to 2 parties this weekend and 1 uni open day - but was up by 8am today and has worked all day to make up for the rest of the weekend.

Hi andagainandagain. Are things improving with your DD? Half-term holiday will probably be very welcome - a chance to chill and recharge the batteries, and spend some time consolidating/organising the work covered so far.

Hi everyone, my DS is having an awful time. He did well in his GCSEs, he is bright but dyslexic. I always thought he would find 6th form tough. He is now very upset in the kitchen, he doesn't want any involvement from us, shouts and swears. He's putting in effort at home 2 hours a night and 3 hours a day at weekend, but finding 3 out of 4 subjects very tough. We had an email this week from his Chemistry teacher saying he got D and E in recent tests. I just don't know how to help him - he really seems to hate me and DH just now. We so want to help him. He is putting in work, but doesn't seem to be making many notes or doing practise questions. His older sibling did amazingly and has just gone to uni. I think having an extremely high achieving sibling is hard for him. He has no idea what he wants to do with his life and seems very lost. Any advice or experience of how to help him appreciated. Thanks.

Still struggling with vocab tests here. Fairy we've been told to expect at least 20 hours homework a week. ds is doing about 3 hours on a weekday evening plus weekends but it isn't so much time/effort as the effectiveness of using that time. Does the school offer any study support ?

Hello Fairy. Sorry to hear your DS is struggling. As I said in an earlier post DD1 really struggled to start with particularly with physics. It does get easier. Does the chemistry teacher run any extra sessions? DDs' school runs clubs once or twice a week that they can go to - either to just do homework or to get extra help. Or could he go along and see the teacher at lunchtime? Could you email the teacher back asking what extra support there is? And could you get the teacher to talk to him rather that it seem like you are nagging (which I know you are not!).
Regarding effective revision for tests - both DDs google and print questions and tests off the internet. DD1 prints off loads of past papers and picks out the relevant questions and then uses the mark schemes to make sure she is using the correct words etc. She also uses this website www.a-levelchemistry.co.uk

Thanks so much hells that's really helpful. I will check out the website and print off some past papers to save him time (then just surreptitiously leave the relevant questions on his desk!). I've emailed the teacher back and it's parents evening soon. Thanks again for your support and good ideas.

fairywoods
So sorry about feeling your DS is hating you - we are in the same position - want to help him but feel we are simply put of our depth - this is whole new level of parenting challenge that has his us for six.
I feel like crying about the academic stuff - except that how could that help. After a weekend of tension, with us saying all the wrong things about study etc DS said to us before he disappeared to his room tonight that he has been trying to tell us he is bisexual and we have not been listening.
Sorry this is off topic - am just not sure what to do or say, if indeed anything needs to be said.
We have lots of gay and lesbian friends and have no issue with anyone's sexuality but a bit a left field to have that into the mix of A level angst...

MesHerodotus
His sexuality will be in a state of flux - suddenly its all legal. The "school" relationships are ending ....and its another way to lash out at those he knows will not walk away.
He may be whatever he may be, but downplaying reaction is all you can do.

My only bit of advice from how we've played it with DD is
early to bed with no screens
router off time is now 10pm
I know that games are still played and books are still read but the brain goes into rest mode a bit earlier

I've also banned bedroom doors being closed

• it restricts loud music by both of them
• in encourages focus as all our floors are carpeted

so far so good - and DofE went ok this w/e

MsHerodotus - poor you and ds! That's all a lad needs to have to deal with at the beginning of the lower sixth (year 12 in new money, I should say). Not that it's the actual fact of it, as you say, but hormones + a huge load of work = aaaaggghh!

Ds is just generally a grump. He has three essay subjects (+ another) and the going is not easy. He is looking enviously at his friends doing sciences who (seem to) have a lot more free time.

After a bit of a row ("Stop interfering!!") he mumbled yesterday that he'd like me to have a look over his essay. I'm telling myself not to trash it; I confess to having meagre expectations.

Mine hated his place year 7-11. I intervened in year 11 to turn it around. Got ten GCSEs in the end. Now he's doing a levels he ADORES school. All organised and happy and engaged. Staff delighted with him