Cousin's daughter has ended up with the box room at her university shared house

[mrsjavierbardem]

She's paying the same rent and her mates won't budge on anything: Won't rotate the room, won't pay more.

She did agree to have the room a year ago - but now sees that it is almost impossibly small and feels she should at the very least, pay less rent.

I guess that's that but I do think they are being vile to her and so aggressive in their refusal to discuss it at all.. Oh well you see people's true colours over this kind of thing, a life lesson for sure.

It's not a big mistake, really - it's not going to make that much difference to her life. IME you don't tend to use your bedroom to socialise much in a shared house - you go out or hang out in the living room - and most of the time you're in your room you're lying on the bed, in which case the room size doesn't matter.

OK they're not being very nice, but she agreed in the first place so I can't entirely blame them for not wanting her to go back on what was agreed.

'why she isn't'

The others are probably annoyed as they have taken the house thinking everyone was in agreement. It's unlikely that they are hard nosed or out for themselves. They will have organised their finances to according to the rent they have to pay.

I think having the small room is just one of those things. So done has to have it, just like they do in a family.

We used to pick a number out of a hat and choose a room in that order. In one of our houses, there was a room in the attic that was the size of the whole house but the friend who had that paid the same as the one who had the box room.

My DD had the same problem. She just made sure that the following year it didn't happen again in a new house with new friends. A smaller room tends to be warmer, only positive feature. The following year they made sure the smaller room's rent was cheaper in rent, but still no one wanted it, so they picked out of a hat to make it fair. My DD got it again but was happy as it was £50 less a month, plus she paid less heating bills. The lesson is to decide from the beginning or accept it.

I deliberately choose the box room in my house at university.

It was great.

Why?

Because it required less heating to keep it warm in winter.

It is just a life lesson and I can see both sides, we're a close family and I'm close to her, is all.

ALSO I lived with a pair for uber b*** at university so I think her sadness about this is bringing all those rows about cleaning and food back and giving me retro memory hell!

I think her "friends" are horrible. My dd is a shared 4 bed house. There is one massive room and one smallish room, the other 2 are average. They decided that the nicest room and smallest room will swap half way through the year and they'll all pay the same. That's fair.

Even though she's agreed, I don't think that should mean she can't change her mind. If they won't do anything I'm afraid she'll have to put it down to experience. Next year she should get some new friends or take the biggest room in the house.

Also has she actually told her friends that this is really pissing her off and is effecting how she feels about them?

Yes she has and they have been really vile to her about it. They have been pretty hard-nosed.

Sorry I put this on Higher Education too so should link to that thread!

Yes, it was a mistake to agree to it, on equal rent terms. But unfortunately for her, she did.

Guns the lease and rent will be for the whole house, not per room, so the landlord hasn't said 'room x is worth rent y' - they will have a joint lease for a total amount.

I had a flat as an adult where one of the rooms was so small the bed had a specially made mattress. Someone has to have the smallest room, that's how it works. I'm guessing it won't be her next year.

Bakeoff that sounds so sensible.

The lesson here is to only agree to something if you think it is fair.

I bet the others are slighted they don't have to live in the box room and pay the same rent. Part of me suspects that any one of them would feel very differently if they were in it.

I don't think any of these girls would have agreed to the small room, they are not like her but good point.

Delighted. Not slighted.

It is harsh lesson learned.

The friends do sound very unyielding.

So she basically agreed to the box room so she could live with her friends?

I've three DC at Uni and whenever there has been a box room there has been a reduction in rent for that student. It's fair. However, I think, it's too late for your cousins DD to do anything now.

Perhaps she can store some of her possessions in the communal areas.

I think she agreed because no one else would and they just wanted to get it done and she was fed up with it, plus she is a very generous person.

Lonnyvonny Thanks for the explanation. Is this how student accommodation works now? certainly was rented by room in my time
1900
Well it still doesn't change anything, it was a bit silly of them all to agree to pay equal rent when one room was tiny, but she agreed to it. I see what OP is referring to now as the 'moral' thing, yes if they were nicer i suppose they would reduce her rent, but not many people would to be honest not even OP's niece.

I preferred the box room. Much warmer! Massive attic room in next house freezing cold or stifling hot.

Could she put her wardrobe in the corridor or living room?

In our student house in the second year the smallest room had a massive wardrobe which exaserbated the problem. We shifted it to the cellar and aquired some slim shelving and a set of drawers that doubled as a bedside table that the lad used instead, we also put one of those portable hanging rails on the landing for overspill of clothes.

Any chance she could shift the wardrobe to the landing?

good to hear all this, I will pass it on.

This is how we learn about ourselves and other people isn't it?

Nice people need to learn when to be nice.

I think all the variations are being discussed with her mum. The having more storage in the communal room and in the kitchen is a good idea. At the very least I think she should have some concession from them as a token.

I think being able to store her possessions in communal areas is a good idea.

In my day, circa 1980s, it was first come first served on moving in day.

This brings back memories - I took a year out between 2nd and 3rd year, and relied on friends to organise the house. There were 3 double rooms with built-in cupboards and double beds, and an unfurnished boxroom. Guess which one I got? OK, it was nice of my friends to organise it, but I had to do my homework in the living room (or the library) and sleep on a mattress on the floor, in a room literally 1/3 of the size of the others, but pay the same rent .

Weirdly, two of my flatmates also stopped talking to me half way through the year, and I never found out why. Very odd.