Also posted in chat
DD2 has struggled with schooling a huge amount. She has also had a somewhat disturbed school time. We moved her from her infant school when they would not deal with her dyslexia to a private (amazing) school. Then for year 3 we moved to where we now live (She could not have stayed at private as it was not co ed after year 2) and she went to primary here for year 3-6..
She then started secondary school at what is meant to be our " catchment" (used loosely) school. She was outright bullied there and had a terrible 7 months until we said no more and moved her to the school her older sister has attended frm year 7 and loves..
School as such has been good academically they have been amazing with her dyslexia and her grades have gone up. Friendships has been wobbly and school a little hit and miss in aiding though they have tried. (unlike first secondary that was appalling at it) towards end of year 9 dd2 seemed to finally have found some friends. However over summer holiday I noted she unlike her 3 siblings didn't once request to see any of her school friends or arrange to meet up with them. (she did meet up with this one girl from primary who she still sees that goes to another school)
FFW to tonight where she had a complete melt down and it took us a good 30 minutes to calm her down from sobbing. It transpires that towards end of year 9 the small group of friends she had been seeing has started to leave her out and stop talking to her. She says that she thought this was just because of it going towards the end of the year and everyone was tired etc. However on returning to school Thursday last week. The friends are outright blanking her. Ignoring her when she says hello and she is clearly deeply upset.
I have emailed the head of year. However dd2 said on my suggesting we involve her that in the past when she has spoken to teachers they are really nice when she talks to her and promise to do stuff. However this rarely gets put into practice.
DD2 is a very sarcastic person and sharp witted. I suspect this means that she at times says stuff that her friends do not understand or misunderstand. We have spoken to her about this and I know she is trying to curb this (teachers often mention how funny she is so she really has adult sense of humour) Her reports are good and solid. a pleasure t teach hard working however due to her dyslexia she is unlikely to get much more than C's in her exams (not sure if this is relevant) we are proud of this she has worked So hard for this.
I am at a loss as to what to do
She plays rugby but only started recently so has not yet managed to make friends there. Due to where we live a lot of clubs are not possible there simply isnt the clubs to do. & no transport.
She is my daughter so obviously I think she is funny and interesting and I do think she is the sort who shuold have friends and a fair few of them.
However obviously something is going wrong and she is suffering.
Part of me wants to phone the school her friend is going to and see if they have spaces and just move her. Another part thinks.. What move her AGAIN? A third says well if we are going to then do it now before she gets into year 10. Additionally her current school has changed their uniform so I have to buy a new one just for year 10 and then again for year 11 (I haven't done this yet as they said they would accept old uniform for first term)
I worry too I am projecting as I was bullied at school myself and I remember being that 14 year old who felt like there was no one in the world who liked me. I don't want my dd to feel that way.
On the other hand she is now 2 1/2 years into this school and don't seem to have made any friends yet... Friends are important to your soul...
Why are teenage girls so bloody mean to each other?