Is my child a little bit weird?

[HelenMALL2]

My son is 12 years old. He just doesn't seem like anyone else in his class. He is in top set and reasonably intelligent, got 6s in his tests etc. But in terms of personality he is just polar opposite. At around this time last year, he developed a love for horse racing. Correct horse racing. He will sometimes walk up to his father and give him a 5 minute piece on one horse. He runs a tipping service online and is regarded well by his compatriots. In a recent league, last month he finished in the top 5 of 20 people, all men who have the whole day to analyse etc. He loves his racing and if he's happy, I'm happy. We go racing whenever we can and he loves it. But there are a couple things that worry me. He recently signed up to instagram. I looked at his phone and all I saw on his timeline was people at the park, people shopping, going to the cinema etc. My boy has shown no interest in any of this. He claims to have many friends but from what I see I don't really know if this is true. He told me at the start of year 7, he was told by one boy 'everyone thinks you're weird'. The only other thing he like is rugby, but this year he has had a torrid time with injuries. He broke his wrist his finger his rib and tore ligaments in his shoulder wrist and knee. He also had his appendix removed, which took double the time to heal because of the position of the appendix. He doesn't have a console, has shown no interest in ever getting a console and because of this he can't join in half the conversations at school. I have asked him I he wants one and he always declines, despite often saying he can't join in. He has no interest in fashion, which he said 'is fine till mufti day when you get massacred for your next top and jeans as everyone else comes in superdry and hollister'
He is happy what he is like but my question is, if he was your child would you think he's weird? Would you try and change him? Buy him top line clothes and Xbox for his b'day if he wanted tickets to racing?

Thanks very much

My dcs are mad about racing (it helps their uncle is a trainer).
I see nothing weird about a 12 year old being interested - mine have loved it since they were children.
It's a really enjoyable sport - provided he isn't gambling heavily I would encourage him in his interest.

Each to their own I guess. My dd is into drama and dance. Her peer group think she is odd - because they do not have the same interest. She fits in well with the children from her drama and dance groups though. Our kids are children. They have the rest of their lives to find likeminded people to be friends with. I admit I have bought dd a few "trendy" t shirts for mufti days - otherwise she would end up preferring to wear a tutu! I would prefer to shield her from the consequences of that :) Your son sounds fab btw. xx

Just take him to a mountaintop yoga retreat. My son was just like yours and then he embraced his inner conflicts and now his life is balanced with positive energies.

I think he sounds lovely. Theoretically I wouldn't do anything but embrace him for who he is. But, in all honesty if it were me, I would love him for all of his interests but I would also buy him a few Holister tops and orchestrate a few social interactions to help him integrate.

I'd explore the clothing thing a bit more. I wonder whether he is rejecting Hollister etc to please you? Are you a bit snobby about popular culture for teens, favouring something more worthy? Are you sure you are not devaluing teen culture in front of him?
My kids would say he was a Geek but that's a perfectly acceptable thing to be around here...not a insult at all.

He doesn't sound "weird" but unique, he'll find his place and if he is happy, he's fine

Does he chat online to the people he does the horse stuff with? That, combined with talking and dealing with people at school could just be enough socialising for him

I kinda wonder what you were like growing up? I was a bit rebellious, fairly popular, not top of the scale, but friends with those who were, physically ,mature outgoing, sociable, confident and still am really
My daughter is quiet, insular, totally utterly a rule follower, not popular, not unpopular but so quiet she glides right under the radar
It was hard, it is hard, for me to accept that her school holidays so far consist of going out with me for walks, to the shops, out to eat, or out with me and a friend and daughter that I organised. That she and her particular group, don't just meet randomly, they're all similar, never any spur of the moment meets, they don't just meet at the beach, be there or be square . . . Yet at work, colleagues children have barely been home, camping in gardens, teen barbies, parties, beach day after beach day, just meeting for a wander round town . . . To ME her life is weird and antisocial. To her, it's happy!!

Is he happy? If yes, keep talking to him, make sure there's no dodgy meets with gamblers and listen to him . . . And buy him a couple of trendy tops

Hi all. This is the poster just something happened to my old account and needed a new one :)
Just to answer a few questions. He doesn't gamble a penny bar when he is

at the course, in which case I dont think anyone doesnt!!! He is really enjoying it at the moment. His site getting a healthy view count etc. Thanks for all the kind words about him :). Maybe weird was the wrong word to use in the post!!!

He has an incredible memory may I add. My daughter had a friend round and he didnt understand why they weren't interested in his verbal preview of the 1410 at wherever that day!

I think he sounds like a very mature boy who knows what makes him happy. I would be proud.

he didn't understand why they weren't interested in his verbal preview of the 1410

He will sometimes walk up to his father and give him a 5 minute piece on one horse

Suggests possible aspergers to me. (My 15YO DS has aspergers. His diagnosis has had bugger all not much difference to the way his teachers treat him at school, but it has definitely been useful to me. He recently got facebook so that he can be part of the arrangements for a group he's involved in. He has zero interest in the social side " a load of pointless rubbish".

My DS is also anti-fashion, although he will ask his big sis for style advice.

He sounds quirky and eccentric and interesting. Far, far better than bland.

The most important thing is that he is happy. Start worrying when he stops being happy. I fretted a lot about my "quirky" DS2 (who is Dyspraxic/Aspergic) but actually, he's fine - he's made similarly batty friends and has coped well with the teenage years.

There's nothing weird about being mad about racing - if there is then all my family must be weird.
Loads of people are obsessed by football and no one thinks that's odd.

He sounds fab! Lucky you

He sounds similar to my dd, but admit I find her passions a bit weird, but I don't see weird as negative.
Your ds is his own person, doesn't give in to peer pressure, doesn't follow like a sheep, is unique and I think you should be proud.
Perhaps show an interest in his racing and you have a common interest as he grows into the next stage.
he sounds great to me.

When my DD was this age, she used to insist on wearing her Velcro fastening black school shoes all the time- with everything - because they were "easy to put on quickly". Everyone else wore trendy converses etc I invested in a pair of gorgeous converses with flowers on but they must have been worn twice, because "laces are such a hassle"... She's 17 now, happy and confident, still a bit "different" but always in a lovely way. I wouldn't worry about the whole clothes thing.

I thought 12 year old boys were not interested in fashion anyway. DS couldn't care less. Hollister? He'd rather spend the money on Lego!

I was 'weird' at school. Never trendy, quite naive, parents went out of their way not to buy the trendy items etc. secondary school was rather tough, I was bullied. Only in 6th form did I find people like me.
Then at university I meet more people like me.
So I suppose what I'm saying is if you have a personality and are an individual it can take a little longer to find your' tribe' but they are out there and sometimes it just takes a little while to find them.
Plus now when I look back, at the grand age of 36, I'm glad I was the person I was as it has makes me a stronger person and I still don't want to fit into the crowd.

My 15 year old ds would be perfectly happy walking around in a top hat. He's very intelligent and quirky, but I certainly wouldn't call him weird (unique -yes). I gave up trying to encourage him to blend in. Now I encourage him to be himself because everyone's different.

He's not interested in fashion either and he'd rather go to a classical music concert than see a rock band. He is who he is. It would be rather nice if other children were raised to know that this is OK though as he does get bullied for it

It used to be 'acceptable' to be eccentric.

But now there's some tolerance of 'quirky' and a lot of suspicion of people who are 'weird'. IMO