Is this detention (Year 7) unreasonable?

[HelenMALL2]

Ok, first of all thank you for taking time to read and answer.

Here is my problem. My son has been off for 2 1/2 weeks after having his appendix removed. Before his surgery he withdrew a book from the school library. It was due back on a Wednesday. He was absent that Wednesday
and returned to school on Thursday. On Friday he was called into the library. He'd forgotten about his book. He tells me he now has a 20 minute detention on Monday and a 20 minute detention on Tuesday. On Monday for not returning the book when he was absent, which is totally unfair. His detention on Tuesday is justified as it's the rules but surely the school can apply common sense. It was his first day back from a long absence. I'm wondering what to do as I don't think at the least the Monday detention is fair.
Please help

Just wanted to add I know 20 minutes is nothing to have a s* fit about, but its more the basis of it. My son has said he doesn't mind going to the second but not the first.

Send an email to the school (head of year or headteacher) explaining why it is inappropriate to apply a sanction for the library book given the mitigating circumstances (serious illness) and see what happens.

Yes the first one seems unfair. What is the second one for?

Sounds utterly unfair. I would email.

But be absolutely sure that there isn't more to it. Did he explain why it was late? He wasn't rude or anything was he? Because a 20 minute detention for a late library book seems bizarre.

Good grief- every single library book my dd has ever returned has been late!

School just like the fact she reads. Send in a note saying that he will not be attending the detention due to his illness.

Definitely unfair.

I think maybe you need to explain it was emergency surgery with no notice, not a scheduled event he could have anticipated.

Normally, I veer towards the "suck it up" school of thought, but this is totally unreasonable. I would be contacting the school.

Not sure I understand what the second detention is for either.

I don't understand either of these detentions. If the first is indeed purely for not returning a book when he was in hospital it is unreasonable. If he was at home recuperating it is a little more understandable but still, in my view, unreasonable. As others have said, detention for a late library book seems odd. So I would want to know if it is really just for the reason you have stated or if there is something else involved. And, unless the school has a good explanation, I would be asking them to reconsider.

I would speak to them about it.

I'm sure a quick email detailing your son's illness to the Head should do the trick.

I am a secondary school teacher and I agree this seems very unfair. When I was at school myself I only ever had one detention in Y7 for "messy handwriting" (the content of the work was all correct) and I thought this was really unfair, but served the detention and still moan about it (as you can see) years on. I could have asked my parents to complain, but decided I should just do the detention.

Why not talk to your son and see what he wants you to do?Talk to him about how you think it is unfair as his situation wasn't taken into account, but whoever set it was obviously sticking to "school policy".

I would send an email querying the detention, not disputing it....there is a subtle difference. I think that it is always good to explain the background circumstances and ask if the detentions are required, given the circumstances, rather than to begin by saying it is unreasonable. You will sound less critical,but more enquiring. It gives school a chance to simply say it does not apply in these circumstances, rather than having to say they were in the wrong. Chances are, the detentions have been applied without knowledge of the background.
So personally,mI wouldn't view the situation as unreasonable, but simply an error. I think if you feel like this yourself about it, it will be less annoying and personal too. All big organisations make errors like this. They can easily be corrected without anyone needing to make a big scene.

I would explain to my ds that he needs to go along politely to (the Librarian? The HoY?) and explain that they understand there is probably an automatic system in place for 'Book late = detention' but that, as he was taken into hospital for surgery, then he's sure they'll understand that was outside of his control, but, despite that he realises he should have brought it in with him on the Thursday and forgot then, so understands he has to do the 2nd one.

Detentions are probably issued automatically so yes, just email the school explaining that your DS couldn't return the book as he was absent and that now it has been returned can you consider the matter dealt with?

If they come back and say they still want him to do the second detention then fair enough, but it sounds like the harshest school library ever. Most are just grateful to get books back before the summer.

He is in Y7 and needs to sort this out for himself - it is secondary school, he needs to speak to his tutor and the library, make them aware and argue his own case for compassion.

Part of growing up is not getting mummy to do it for them.

I agree year 7s should be encouraged to do things for themselves. However sometimes they still need support and help from their parents.

An 11 year old does not necessarily have the confidence or the skills the challenge authority in an effective manner.

Of course its fine to sort it out on his behalf.

But I think it doesn't need to be seen as "challenging authority". As Chocolate Wombat said he needs to think of it as presenting the facts and 'querying' the detention, not disputing it - it's all in the approach, and these are great skills for 11 and 12 yr olds to be learning.

I agree that he needs to sort it out for himself, it is part of growing up. You can coach and support him in what to say but I think emailing on his behalf is going OTT.

I agree it is completely unfair, however I would encourage your son to explain the reasons for the late return himself to the teacher. My dd (year 7) would rather do the detention than have me send an email over such a minor issue.

Thanks for all your advice. In the end I decided against email and told him to do the detention after school today (Monday). The librarian told him that because he did what was asked in the detention (cleaned the book shelves for half an hour) he does not have to do detention tomorrow. My son is still pretty miffed as people in his class have gone for 2 weeks or more without returning books and got off, and people have sworn and been rude to the librarian with no consequence. And I also just found out that the librarian had forced everyone to take a book out in a library lesson one day and that was his book!! Anyway thanks for all the messages and I don't think he'll be borrowing from the library in a hurry next year.

That's a shame. Does the librarian know your son didn't return it because he was having his appendix out? It all sounds a bit inconsistent.

He told them that he couldn't return it on the 9th because he was absent (the day it was due back), he came back on the 10th, forgot about it, called in on the 11th, given detention today (14th) and tomorrow with tomorrows abandoned. He doesn't mind now and its all over now. Summer holidays soon and it will all be forgotten about.

I would maybe contact the school separately now he has done his detention to see if they could 'clarify' the situation regarding library books when the pupil that has taken them out is absent from school due to unexpected major surgery (well, compared to having a verucca cut out or some of the other medical things that people might use as a medical excuse). And then clarify why exactly your son got penalised again for forgetting it on his second day back - when others have had books out for much longer.

Did he have any reminder in school either day about his book and the need to bring it back? Is it because it is end of term so they get strict to ensure all books get brought back and not lost over the holidays?

I can see why your son is annoyed - he did his first detention and half of the second one (if they were supposed to be 20 mins) and the librarian has excused him on grounds of him doing the detention well, rather than acknowledge they were unreasonable to expect him to bring a book in when he is at home recuperating from surgery.

I'd also potentially be quite annoyed at the actual detention, depending on my child's health. How well healed is your son -is he ok lifting and carrying heavy things - did he need to move or lift books in order to clean the shelves? and assuming that he is cleaning the shelves because they are dusty/dirty, dust sets off asthma attacks in ds1. So I'd be furious if he'd been randomly given a task like this to do without them checking if it had any consequences. And at 11, I don't think it is up to the child to have to say this, particularly to a teacher at the start of a detention. Some teachers are OK but there are others that are grumpy and unreasonable at the best of times; get one of those and they might just assume that the child is trying to get out of detention and the child might end up with another detention. Particularly if the child isn't particularly confident - which many aren't at that age.

It sounds like they needed help cleaning the library so figured it would be an easy source of labour to do it and I'm not entirely against that. But given that dust can cause asthma and that not all kids are able to do all physical activities (temporarily like the dc here potentially or permanently like those kids with EDS or other conditions that could be affected) it should be the teacher that checks. If they checked these things with the child beforehand then that's one thing, if they didn't and expected the child to get on with it with no way of them getting the detention activity changed to one that didn't physically cause problems for them, then I would have a massive problem with it.

of course I have no way of knowing OP what was the case in your circumstances!