Can a child make a fresh start at the same school?

[HelpMeGetOutOfHere]

DS2 is 12 and year 7, he started off school so well. UP nice and early in the morning, showered, deodorant, breakfast off to school with nice neat uniform, correct equipment took active part in lessons and showed maturity.

Roll forward to this term and we have hardly any commendations (276 over last two terms, 2 this term) and has had 27 discredits (3 in the prior 2 terms so 24 this term), he is a nightmare to get out of bed, he has lapsed in hygiene, thinks lying in the bath or standing in the shower is good enough, always claims to have no homework, constant breaking of things, e.g 4 school ties destroyed this term, completely unravelled, 2 bikes broken, always has cuts, bruises, writing on his arm or hand, all over pencil case, when he remembers to take it. School uniform dictates that pe trainers must be white and sports trainers not fashion ones, but despite having the correct trainers and nike ones so not cheapy sports direct ones that he might get the mickey taken out of him, he still takes fashion trainers like gazelles or blazers (took his older brothers brand new air max last week!).

Constantly in scrapes and battles. Always seemingly wrong place at the wrong time, and making poor choices.

After a few meetings with HOY he is on report this week mondya was great, got full marks for all subjcts, Tuesday and he already has comments re lack of equipment and not doing the work set.

I just don't know how to get through to him that he needs to change and that this isn't acceptable. Nothing phases him either, grounding, removing phone/ipad/ps4 etc it all just goes over his head.

Im wondering if he can get out of this cycle in the same school or if he will now be branded as a trouble maker and the first o be blamed for talking etc? Should he stick it out and be made to change or new school new start?

never thought that this would happen with DS2 he has always been such a bright, smart, caring and respectful child so this has come totally out of the blue .

Yes.

The end of the summer term is the worst time in schools
the kids are tired
the teachers are tired
the post exam kids are still prowling around

have a really good summer : focus on the positive
start fresh in September with little kids in year 7 to look down upon

What does he say about it?
Is he having a hard time from other kids for being well-behaves and interested in the first two terms?
I think what i would do about it would depend on what he himself says.
Very hard sometimes to get boys this age to talk. I have to persuade mine to do the washing up with me or take the dog for a walk. Direct questioning results in nothing but a shut down!
Also kids full of hormones can be so distracted they lose everything.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

Yes he can change things around. my ds (same age) had a rocky start to year 7, everything going missing, broken, turning up late for lessons, completely disorganised to the point of also being put on report. Then, he got himself in gear and has earnt a string of A's. Did turn out that there was underlying bullying and othera taking the rise, think this age is tricky as they desperately want to fit in with their peers. Do check if hes being picked on for starting out so well as it sounds a dramatic change.

He is asking to change school. He said it's got to the point he can't even open his mouth as if someone else installing when they shouldn't be he will get the blame. I know that's from his point of view so not going to go in all guns blazing.

He says there isn't any bullying and he is a big lad, towers over most of his peers and taller than his 17yr old brother. He does seem to have a few friends and has one close friend who lives just down the road. This friend is incredibly sensible. Very polite too set everything and school council etc so you'd hope some of that would have rubbed off on ds.

It sounds like you need to have a meeting with his tutor and head of year and find out what exactly is happening. My friends lad is built big like yours and teachers do have a tendency to swing round and spot him above all

I have. We've had one meeting with tutor who is also his maths teacher and two meetings with head of year.

I think they have me down as one of those mums who jumps in and over reacts but I don't. I have been very calm and not shouted or screamed or demanded anything. I have just asked what's going on and why a sudden change in behaviour. I know boys change during puberty and they don't always stay our sweet lovely boys and I've been through it before with ds1 so know that they change. Ds1 just starting to come through the other side now and talk instead of grunt etc. however I don't want ds2 written off as lazy and incapable at this stage.

I think Year 7 is tough for kids. I thought I'd 'lost' my lovely DS at that age, and my DD found the transition really difficult. It all came good eventually though.
I only later realised how much pressure they feel to 'fit in'. Things like having the wrong trainers are a major issue at that age sadly.

Yes but it has to come from him. No amount of nagging will help. He has to take responsibility for his choices.

I think many/most teachers are prepared to kids a second chance. In fact, if DC do turn it around they can often receive more plaudits than the kids who toed the line from the get go...

However, I would imagine that once a pupil has made a name for themselves as a PITA, the the teachers watch them more closely.

A friend of mine's son changed ghis behaviour and then felt it was unfair tyhat the teachers were still watching him like a hawk...but frankly he brought that one on himself and of course in timeit all cooled down.