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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Do you buy a gift for a secondary school teacher?

14 replies

CheshireEditor · 03/07/2014 00:05

Just very happy and very thankful to one of DS's teachers during his 1st year at secondary school, do parents/children get gifts for teachers at secondary school or is his naff/soooooo embarrassing for my DS?

I could always leave it at reception for her?

OP posts:
IHeartKingThistle · 03/07/2014 00:07

Do it. Gifts are few and far between at secondary and it will mean the world (the thought, I mean - make sure you write down why you are grateful to them!). But don't make DS take it if he doesn't want to!

sinningsaint · 03/07/2014 11:25

It's not common practise but is a nice gesture if they have been a big help! DD recently finished Y11 and only gave out one present (well, home-made brownies) and it was to a teacher who didn't even teach her as she hadn't even taken his subject! All her friends had however and as it was a time consuming subject that meant they often worked through lunch and he had let her sit with her friends up in his room whenever she wanted for the previous 2 years!

waterducksback · 03/07/2014 11:30

I would say no.
A small (even better if it's hand made) gift at infant/primary level is sweet.

But to buy gifts for secondary level teachers smacks of ass licking/pushy parenting.
(and other pupils could take the pee if they got wind of it)

But I could be wrong!

IHeartKingThistle · 03/07/2014 11:40

So secondary teachers don't deserve thanks because it might be seen as ass licking? Nice Hmm

I treasure the cards I got as a secondary teacher.

waterducksback · 03/07/2014 14:45

OP asked for people's opinions. I gave mine.

waterducksback · 03/07/2014 14:49

Of course a sincered thank you card is different and is a nice gesture..

But, to buy presents and gifts? - No.
Anyway, it's not fair on the poorer parents who maybe can't afford to buy presents for the teachers.

I always hated that end of year, one-upmanship - that existed in my children's infant school.

Some parents would go ott and buy spa gifts or expensive wine and chocolates.
I had the feeling they thought they could 'buy' the teachers! Shock

clary · 04/07/2014 00:39

I teach secondary and I am always delighted to get Christmas cards from anyone in my form (very few and far between).

Gifts are even rarer and from experience colleagues are always really touched to get maybe a box of chocs or a book from a student they have really helped.

If yr DS is embarrassed then yes, leave it at reception.

I don't see what it has got to do with poorer parents - no one is expecting anything and as it's secondary, nobody else knows anyway (ie you are not all there at the school gate).

EvilTwins · 04/07/2014 22:07

It is rare at secondary but that doesn't mean it's arse licking!

Last year one of the yr 11 girls brought in flowers for one or two teachers who she felt had gone out of their way for her - that was lovely! In some ways it means more at secondary because it's often the child's own idea and/or money. When I looked after a group of my students who were in a professional play in October they clubbed together and got me a card and some flowers and I was far more touched by that than if it had been their parents.

If you feel a teacher has gone over and above and you want to stay thank you, then why on earth not?

Waswondering · 04/07/2014 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlesupersparks · 04/07/2014 22:14

I'm a secondary school teacher. Gifts are few and far between but much appreciated. I've never seen anyone take the mick out of someone for giving a gift - particularly not in year 7. A hand written card and an email copied into the line manager would be great too.

I do remember one slightly embarrassing occasion when one of my tutees brought in a bottle of shower gel for me :-o he said gruffly 'my mum sent this.' As I'd only met her a few times I'm hoping it wasn't because of my personal hygiene but who knows. He was in year 10 or 11. Even he didn't get ribbed!!!

If you're worried about teasing, drop it into reception yourself - I'm sure it will get to the teacher.

littlesupersparks · 04/07/2014 22:18

My sixth formers bought me wonderful gifts for my first maternity leave. One of them bought a hamper and everyone bought something to go in - nappies, a little baby gro, calpol. I cried a lot. When my buddy left, he got piles of gifts because the kids really loved him. So if you want to send something in, do.

Some sweet parents send in a box of biscuits/chocs for the staff room with a note which is also lovely (although it is like a cloud of locusts in there so don't last long ;-) )

nicky2512 · 04/07/2014 22:18

DD bought a present for her form teacher who she thought was really great this year. It was her choice to do so and she made a lovely card to go with it. Teacher got a few presents and was very pleased.

Original poster
CheshireEditor · 05/07/2014 00:05

Fab thanks, going to drop off some wine and a thank you note at school reception, it's for SENCO, she's been AMAZING with dyslexic DS, he's got so much confidence and has had a great first year. I am very thankful to her because knowing she was there for him, how much she got to know him, everything she has done for him, brought my stress/worry levels right down and I think there a few better feelings as a parent than knowing your child is happy, doing well and looked after well while at school

OP posts:
inthename · 07/07/2014 20:34

Definitely and even more so if they've gone the 'extra mile' to help out.

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