Turning down waiting list place

[mychildrenarebarmy]

This is probably a really silly question because I am sure the answer is "it shouldn't make any difference". I am going to ask it anyway, just in case.

Our daughter got her 2nd choice secondary school and in our area they automatically get put on the waiting list for any higher choices. A week after offers she was 31st on the list. Today she is 9th.

She has decided that she wants to stick with the place we were offered (small friendly school, 5 minutes walk from home, best of a bad bunch in our area results wise with their strongest subjects being those she wants to do well in for her future plans, good reputation, no sixth form). Her reasons being that she wants to be able to know what she is doing, she knows some people already there and knows some people who are starting so it will be easier to settle in. The school have also been very supportive of her needs in transition from home ed to school.

If she gets offered a place at her first choice (30 minute drive away, excellent reputation, great results, very good sixth form) and we turn it down would it look bad if at some point in the future we were to make a mid-term application? In other words, if she sticks with 2nd choice despite offer but at some point she/we decide that she'd be better off in the other school would they look at the fact we rejected an offer of a place from waiting list?

I am a complete novice at all of this because so far she has never been to school and is choosing to go to school because she has already decided what she wants her future career to be and feels "it would be the best way to get results in all the exams I will need to go to university".

Reassure this nervous mother of a scarily organised 11 year old!

There will be no comeback from turning down the place should it become available

Just take her off the waiting list by phoning your LEA, then you will not have to deliberate if a place becomes available. Decision made.

Just remove her from the waiting list. In some areas if you get a waiting list place you automatically lose your original offer.

Thank you theowlwhowasafraidofthedark . We are going to leave her on the list just in case she/we do change our minds. As the list runs until the end of the year it also keeps our options open if she starts the 2nd choice and it isn't a good fit. :)

An offer made from waiting list here doesn't lose original offer unless you accept the new one so we are safe there.

What do YOU think of the two schools?

I am always amazed how much choice the child has about which secondary to choose. This is a 10/11 year old child who hasn't got the experience an adult has to see the long term view. I've heard too many stories of dc later regretting their choice and wishing their parents had decided for them.

I don't know what your dd wants to do but chances are she could well change her mind in the next few years. Keep your options open.

I disagree with you Dancergirl.

My DS was at No.1 on a W/L for 3 months last year. We (DH and I) loved the 2nd choice school (a GS 40 minutes coach journey away with his best friend from Primary), DS was desperate to go to the 1st choice school (a super selective GS walking distance from our house).

By Sept, he was still 1st place so he ended up going to the GS 40minutes away and was one of the top boys in the school. However, a phone call on 17th Sept changed all that, as a place had become available at the super selective. The decision had to be completely our DS's (an 11 year old). We knew that if we said no, he would not do a stroke of work at his school. Every piece of homework would have been met with, 'I never wanted to go to this school, you made me, you never let me have the chance to go to.. '

We explained that he would be the last boy in and so have the lowest mark, etc. But at the end of the day it was his choice. DS did not hesitate, he was going to the super selective as that was where his heart had always been since visiting the school on open evening. Regrets? None.

Waiting Lists are a roller coaster. But you can always get off if you are not prepared to suffer the highs and lows. We are glad we stayed on!

Dancergirl Our DD has been very heavily involved in the decision making process because she is the one that will be attending school and it is her future so we are more than happy for it to be her decision. All her reasoning for the order she wanted them on the application was very mature, well-reasoned and sensible. She considered things like exam results, what the staff were like, how the pupils in the schools were behaving when we visited them, what resources the schools had, and what sort of journey/travel would be involved in each school. I'd say she has given it just as much thought as some adults we know who have been deciding what schools to choose for their children.

I am also more than happy for her to base her decisions on what she wants to do in the future because at the same age I also had a very clear idea of my future plans. It never changed. :)