I just think its terrible that schools don't have adequate sex ed!

[CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla]

My little sister is in y10 and knows all about it, but I really didn't when I was in school because of the lack of sex education. My sister tells me they tell you about procreation and bits about safe sex, and not actually anything else of use, leading to children not knowing what they're doing, getting themselves into trouble and becoming parents at a VERY young age.
I got told the same things but I would have thought that the sex ed in this country's schools would have gotten a lot better.
I didn't even get taught about safe sex as I went to a strict catholic school. I got taught it was a sin, but this is what a penis and a vagina is. It's not to be used/touched for anything until you're married!
I think that's disgusting. Shouldn't they be teaching kids how to be positive about their bodies and not feel ashamed or are schools adamant that kids shouldn't really know anything about anything that can be used in real life and just shove exam answers down their throats expecting them to "learn"?
I think it's just disgusting. It was in the news today about how a man got HIV from the lack of safe sex education in schools. I got all my information off my parents so I guess I'm lucky. My sister does too, but they don't tell them anything at school, and since other children don't have the luxury of an open family, don't you think they should tell them?
Does it harm children to teach them to be positive about their bodies/sex/relationships?

I left school in 2001 and the axe we was pretty good, the mechanics in biology and the emotional stuff in PSHE. Safe sex was covered a lot and More magazine was pretty helpful too!

Sex ed - stupid phone.

"It was in the news today about how a man got HIV from the lack of safe sex education in schools"

Can you (non-Daily-Mail) link to this please?

Personally I don't think schools should have the whole responsibility for a child/young adult's sex education, and I don't understand why people steadfastly believe this should be the case.

Quite, flicktheswitch

Surely parents have a duty to ensure their children are fully aware of all aspects of sex. It's not all down to schools.

Well mine are still at primary but so far their sex ed has been great imho. Age appropriate and put into emotional context and from year 4 onwards really quite detailed. There also seems to be a focus on feeling good about yourself in the round (so inc but not just bodies but everyone being different and that being a good thing) I had a long chat with ds after the session at school, which was very useful - he had some questions and wanted to express his horror at it all - I do think parents have to play their part too.

The SRE at our secondary is very good.

Not all schools perform to the same level as others in every single one of their activities. But I thing it is wrong and exaggerated to say that the standard is uniformly poor because of an account you have heard of one school.

And I agree schools should not be expected to have the whole responsibility on this. But just as not all schools do as well as others, neither do all parents. No-one can really make all parents competent, but there are ways of encouraging/enforcing competence in schools in this (and in any other) area.

OP: as you are not the parent, there might nt be much you can do directly. But can you encourage your parents to talk to the school about what you see as gaps? And make sure they mention it if OFSTED comes in and there is a parental questionnaire.

DS is 11 and although his school has done their bit, DH and I have never thought it was their responsibility rather than ours

DS and I have talked about safe sex, loving relationships, contraception... I make use of things that come up on TV programmes (he will sit and watch Home and Away with me which offers amazing opportunities for such discussions! ) to introduce a subject quite naturally - "What do you think about the way Kyle spoke to his girlfriend then?" etc etc

the non-DM link for HIV teen sorry if thats wrong, not used to links on here yet :D
meditrina thats a really good suggestion, might mention it to DM and see if she's worried about it at all. I don't understand why i have such strong opinions on giving children good sex education.

And here's the BBC version of the news story.

It's concerning that it quotes OFSTED information to say that one third of schools are failing to provide adequate age-appropriate SRE. That is far too high.

But I disagree with the bit in the BBC article where he suggests that the topic should be moved out of the science curriculum. I think it is important that sexual health features in both SRE and science, as parents can opt their DC out of the former, but not the latter.

2 words - parental responsibility

I went to school in the 80s. We learned about procreation in biology and had the period talk from women who came in - lamentable. Yet I knew that sex leads to babies and that having one at 16 wouldn't be a great idea. Almost all of us did.

It's far more cultural than simply "teaching it in schools". What is the parents' and society's role in all this?

It seems that kids are ignoring the safe sex and the contraception education out there. Why? They're not going to change because teachers tell them to. Actually in some places now, there is such a lack of respect for education and teachers that they'll go out and do the opposite, just because. Look at smoking.

It's all very well talking about parental responsibility but the fact is many parents aren't as conscientious as the ones on this board so there should be an onus on school policy to make sure everyone has a science based, non judgmental sex education and that the emotional and psychological aspects are discussed and supported through PSHE and pastoral care.

I would imagine he probably got HIV by not following safe sex practices, not because of school. Schools do have a role to play, and they do, but the role of parents is much greater IMO. I consider my children understanding safe sex, and having respect for themselves and others my job, topped up by school.

Also do you remember the campaign in the late 80s "AIDS, don't die of ignorance." It was everywhere. I even used it as an example as an effective advert in a Y8 English lesson, so even 12 year old knew all about it. That campaign has stopped.

When I was teaching Y6 in 2004, a child brought up AIDS and some of them had never heard of it. I had to explain what it was, but without mentioning sex, because the guidelines were so unclear and I didn't know whether I would face a landslide of disapproval if they went home telling their parents they had found out sex can spread HIV.

The article seems to be a Terence Higgins Trust initiative.

The boy freely admits his role in not following safe sex recommendations. He is not saying his school provided no SRE, rather that it was insufficient and tended to stigmatize.

THT points out that OFSTED report that one third of schools are not providing adequate age-appropriate SRE. That needs improvement.

Good point. However I do think they should do a better job. Because of lack of SRE & lack of parental teaching, these children are turning to porn for their sex ed. A lot of children do, I still had education from my parents and still watched porn. Still do. But it's just happening younger and younger.
It's more that most schools have one lesson a year and it's abstinence only, and I don't think it should be. At 16 it shouldn't be and thats when they were teaching us it, when me and half of my year were already sexually active. I learned nothing about contraceptives apart from condoms, was only told sanitary towels and tampons were available as sanpro. And I never really understood it (but thanks to my own research I now do).
I think that children should be given the choice about the SRE they receive, do they want more or less? What questions do they have? We heard a lot of "playground slang" and when he tried to ask the teacher what oral sex was, she blushed and ignored the question. I don't think it should be like that, if children want to know and are too embarrassed to ask their parents there should be someone there who is willing to teach it in a way that makes children (and i'm talking about secondary, 14-16 when most children nowadays start having sex) feel positive about their bodies, their sexuality. Most come out as gay/transgendered at this age and need to know there is someone there to answer their questions about sex.
have a feeling I have posted this in the wrong area!

Sex-ed at my DC's school is quite good and does cover HIV.

But I also wonder if part of the problem is that heterosexism leads to a huge focus on pregnancy and an overlooking of HIV, in the misguided assumption that it is of little concern to straight people.

The sex-ed at my school (teacher) and my daughters school (different) is great and thorough from both a biological and emotional perspective. I am a tutor and have to teach the sex-ed. I remember my first year and the dread of year 9 and talking sex. Actually it was great with students engaged and involved and lots of really interesting discussions generated.
Now 6th form and drugs ............................... they taught me a lot!!

I'd love to go into schools and talk to them about relationships. How to respect each other, give consent, how hetero/homo/transexual sex works, emotional aspects behind it. also how to check for abuse, red flags, contraception, all sorts.

my school didn't and doesn't do a good enough job.

Which bit of the secondary curriculum would you like to remove in order to allow more of what you ask?

The "strict Catholic school" is the problem here. This type of school is not indicative of others. Parents make these choices knowing what the school will teach and what it will not. Also, teenage pregnancies in this country have reduced quite a lot during the recession. Could be sex ed is better or could be that parents have sharpened up on the 'don't you dare get pregnant" line with advice to match the rhetoric. It is good news though.