Do Introverted/Shy Children Do Better in Smaller School Populations?

[JohFlow]

Just that....

Over to you...

Why do you ask?

Marking place.

Don't know the answer but have a very shy DS in a small school but can't decide if it's the best or worse thing for him.

Worst not worse

Is there such a thing as a smaller secondary?

We have the choice of two high schools for my introverted DS. One smaller at 900 children and another at 1500+ . We are leaning to wanting him to try the smaller school but need to firm up our argument. So question is really about parental/professional experiences of having introverted children in smaller populations...

IME, yes.

There are 550 in the secondary school I teach in. It means that everyone knows everyone and teachers get to know the kids a bit more. I think it's good for shyer children. You would never have a conversation in the staff room about a child or situation without everyone knowing who/what you're talking about which is good for consistency and continuity.

Flip side - not so many people to make friends with.

Are you willing to share a bit more LowClouds?

Mmm. Thank you for the extra info. We didn't have a choice so introvert DS1 started at the local 1500+ High School a mile down the road. He struggled a lot. But looking back none of it was to do with the size of the school IYKWIM. He didn't settle and after 9 months enough was enough.

We ended up moving him. The new school has about 300 less pupils. he has settled and he loves it.

Even at the current school they split the year into 2 and have two halves IYSWIM, to help with crowd control and lesson planning. he hardly ever sees pupils in lessons to the other half to him.

What sort of Primary is he in Joh?

No personal experience, but if your DS is shy to the point where it impacts his friendships I might be tempted towards the larger school purely on the basis that larger student numbers mean there are more likely to be others he can connect with (it's also easier to purposefully 'lose' yourself in a crowd in a larger school, not sure if you'll feel this is a positive or negative!)

Another consideration would be whether his existing friends will be attending either school. Even if the friendships don't persist, it might help him to hit the ground running.

Joh - whilst there is obviously a smaller pool from which to draw friends, I think a smaller school forces fewer cliques - kids have to tolerate each other's little differences. The main reason I'd go for a smaller school is that in smaller schools staff know all the children far better and can pick up on social issues quickly. There tends to be a more 'family' type atmosphere in smaller schools IME. Certainly at PS, my painfully shy dd coped far better in a tiny school where she was allowed to be herself than in a larger school where she felt rather intimidated and climbed into her shell. She has grown in confidence each year with a very small but strong friendship group.

Sorry - should add that same dd has now had 3 happy years at secondary school.

Thank you for your input Evil - always nice to have parent-professional perspectives too. I like the idea that every child is known and relationships are a focus. I hear what you say on consistency and continuity being easier with smaller populations. This is a major plus point. Do you have experience of teaching in larger schools too? How did that compare?

Gosh Sparkling - your past sit. sounds like ours now. He is currently at mainstream academy. Would feel that him being 'lost' in a larger school would be difficult for him. I would prefer more personal attention to help him get over his bullying hang-ups and help him come into himself.

LowClouds - Son is not overly concerned with having a larger amount of friends; so long as the ones he has, he is close to - he'd be happy. Like your DS - quality rather than quantity. The formation of cliques in larger schools is an interesting observation - do they do this to create their own smaller units so they feel safer?

DD Low not DS - whoops!

bump

JF - clique question very interesting. That old saying 'birds of a feather' may pertain but I wonder if it is partly to due with teenage years too with kids trying out different styles and playing with their identities. I would think that most people are more comfortable in a group as they feel safer and less vulnerable so will accommodate themselves to fit into a group rather than stand out as an individual. Those who will not accommodate themselves tend to end up as the loners or leaders!

Before my current post I taught in a school of 1500+.

As a teacher? I prefer it. I have taught my current yr 10s for 4 years and I feel that I know them pretty well. Students at my school frequently say that the school is supportive and a real community - I think this is at least in part because we are small. I know of other schools that split cohorts into two or three or even four schools/colleges/houses in order to manufacture that community feeling. We get it automatically!

I also agree that if there are more children, there will be more likely to be more children he connects with. I would say that of any child who stands out as being different to the average in any way.

I think cliques have more to do with the atmosphere and ethos of the school than the size. My small secondary was very cliquey. And it was very obvious when people didn't fit in.

As a shy and introverted teen I think I would have preferred a bigger school. More places to hide or to fit in IYSWIM.

Yeah see what you mean Rafa. It's good to hear- from their personal experience- what people would have preferred (in hindsight).

Yes...
DD did far better once class sizes got smaller at her school because they were set for GCSEs. DD could easily get lost, forgotten and overshadowed in her primary with fairly big classes. As a teacher, I see this happening too. Sadly your time and resources are limited and I always wish I had more time to just spend chatting to individual children and getting to know them even more. I think there is too small though - I wouldn't choose a school where it was so small that opportunities are limited.
I think DD used to feel a lot comfortable generally when the group was smaller, she would be a lot chattier and smaller groups led to a cyclic effect of more attention leading to her engaging in more conversation and then gaining confidence and then not being afraid to join in.
Having said that, DDs school was 100 per year group so I know not huge by any means, but not a 'small school'. It worked because there were enough other children for her to find friends she really clicked with and felt very comfortable with.

Picking a school is not always an irrevocable decision - is there scope to try a school for a year and move if it does not work out?

Can he just not move to the same school as his primary school friends?

We live in an urban area Milly and there are quite a few schools close to us. His small group of friends are all being split between what's available - with his closest friends going to the smaller school.

Yes there could be opportunities for either a mid-year or year 8 move Low - should it really not work out.