Can I ask for support and ideas to help me help my DD please?

[Sonnet]

I am worried about my DD and am struggling to know how to help her best (ie come down hard or not).

A bit of background: Each year she seems to perfom less well academcally. I have had her "tested" as such as she has shown to be slow at processing and have a poor working memory.

I have identified myself through observastion that she is scared of school work and avoids when things become tough. This manifests itself in ignoring any tests and using the excuse " I didn't do badly, I just didn't revise"

Even though this may out me, printed below is an email I received today from her teacher. Whilst I am concerned about her poor performance it is actually her attitude that concerns me most:

*I just wanted to email you with regards to xxxxx progress in science this term.

I'm afraid to say that I am a little disappointed with her efforts both in lessons and with regards to her attainment in the last test (Magnets and Electromagnets).

In class I am finding her more and more unwilling to put the expected amount of effort in to her class work, as well as behaving in the correct fashion - for example working silently when asked to.

In her most recent test she managed to achieve 25% or 11 out 43 (a result she will receive today). As you know we have certain expectations of xxxx, and I feel that although I have confronted her about this attitude towards her work, and provided the opportunities for her to have the extra help she requires, she seems unwilling to make the effort in return.

I know we have spoken in the past about this, and I just wanted to update you on the current state of affairs, and I hope you will continue to support us in encouraging her to achieve as highly as she is capable of doing. *

I don't want a big row tonight, it s counterproductive. She has end of year exams the week after half term. In my shoes - what would you do?
TIA

Is she on the Special needs register at school? I would certainly want to talk to the SENCO and see what they can do to help your DD. Also to ensure that she gets any extra time she might need (my DD gets 25% at GCSE just because of her processing difficulties).
Try to work on her revision strategies. Flash cards and mind maps have been shown to work much better than rereading and highlighting.

Don't panic too much as a lot of science is repeated each year.
She may well blossom when she gets to the GCSE years.
Don't take away healthy things she likes to do (sport and productive extra-curricula activities eg. choir or Guides). Look at her friends, it could be she is trying to fit in with a specific group.

Sonnet:

Just a Mum and yet to cope with teenagers (DDs in Y4 and Y6 respectively) - but I think I'd approach this by making a nice cup of tea and getting in (or making if time) biscuits/ cake. Sit your DD down and ask her to read the letter you've received, say you're not angry, but you are disappointed and concerned. Then just ask - what is going on?

It is very difficult - especially if you are away at work and have to rely on your teenager to be motivate enough to get themselves to class/ extra sessions, do their homework, get on with revision, etc...

Hormones can be a factor. Not liking the teacher can be a factor. Having troubles with friends/ boyfriends can be a factor.

Finding it difficult and not understanding why or where to begin can be a factor.

As others have suggested there may be an underlying learning disability which was previously undiagnosed.

What I'm not clear on is whether your DD is studying or simply making a lot of motions about studying (so all the effort making a study plan and no effort revising). Sometimes all students can see (this is University level - but I suspect it applies in senior school) is the whole picture - I need to know everything about physics - and they'd be better off selecting 5 - 6 topics they really enjoyed and revise those thoroughly. It is a risky strategy, there will be questions on other areas - but if you've been doing the work along the way, usually your memory of experiments/ reading will help.

I'm sure the school have pointed your DD toward GCSE bitesize: www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/ks3/science/energy_electricity_forces/magnets_electric_effects/revision/1/

but really talk to your DD about whether the topic is of interest to her/ she wants to go on in sciences/ she likes experiments but dislikes reading/ memorising facts/ etc... A lot of this content can be revised with videos - and she may respond better to that.

certainly BBC learning zone has all sorts of videos: e.g. on electromagnets: www.bbc.co.uk/learningzone/clips/289.html

MIT (Massachusetts Institute of Technology) out of Boston, USA - has been preparing videos by students on various science & engineering topics. k12videos.mit.edu/pilot-round-videos. It isn't formatted to English exams - but its often presenting the same information but in a fresh/ youth orientated way.

Finally - explore why she is taking science. It's mandatory, but she'll drop it next year. She needs this to go on to do x next year. I think you really need to explore what the purpose of taking this course is. That might help sort her attitudes and clarify why she isn't treating her revision/ course work very seriously. And if it is an essential course in order for her to go on and do what she wants next year - making that clear might be motivation enough.

HTH

Thank you everyone - not ignoring you all just having a mare of a time at the moment. Will read properly and update yu all

Thank you again