Bloody BBM, are schools interested in stuff that goes on outside school?

[sandyballs]

DD is in year 8, just 13. A lad in year 10 (so 15/16) has been sending her filthy sexual stuff on BBM. They seem to be questionnaires about sex and what they would do alone. Very graphic.

DD has deleted him and I've said if he tries to get back in touch, then let me know and I might speak to school. But maybe I should speak to them anyway, why on earth is a boy this age sending stuff like that to a 13 year old.

I've said we'll go through her phone and delete anyone that isn't a good friend of hers, as they all seem to accept BBM and face book requests from anyone and I think they should be more choosy.

Bloody technology, it was simpler when I was a teen.

Its a nightmare. We went though this with ds1 who is now 16 and at college, but in reverse. He had a friend who is 2 years younger sending not just these silly questionnaires but pictures of herself. DS actually came to me as he was worried that people would think he was asking her for them.

I went through his phone with him and we deleted and blocked any contacts that he didn't know and any that weren't his friends. This didn't help in that case as the girl in question was a friend (her younger brother went to school with ds2 and I knew and got on with the mum, until I told her what her daughter was up to)

I spoke to the school who had a general assembly for all years about not sending anything you wouldn't send a parent/grandparent and to only approve those that you know etc.

I would speak to school and let them know, at least they can be aware to check for anything happening at school.

Yes school would be interested in this - at least they should be.

Yes they will be interested.
My dd is being cyber bullied via Twitter and the school are dealing with it

School should be interested and I know that my DD's school would want to know and would deal with
Contact her tutor straight away even if he doesn't get back in touch. She is probably not the only recipient.

Also use it as an opportunity to discuss keeping yourself safe on the net/bbm

School would be very interested in this.

Thanks all, I'll drop her tutor an email then, make her aware of the situation. The won't haul DD and this boy out though to discuss it will they? I'm concerned that DD won't tell me stuff if she knows I've gone to school about it. She'd be mortified, particularly given the content.

I would keep screen shots of the messages. I was told by my daughters school to go straight to the police and they would contact the school. That involved an adult posing as a child (a parent of DD's ex friend)to cyber bully though.

Just to update... school took it really seriously, and 1 boy and 2 girls excluded for 3 days

it is also a criminal offense to send sexually explicity material to an underage child in this way. Glad the school took it seriously but remember they are not your only option in these kinds of situations.

school will definitely care. please tell them

Social media is proving a really challenging issue for schools. The boundaries between in-school and out-of school issues is now increasingly blurred.

Schools will be interested - we often run assemblies and the like on cyber safety; the law etc. but equally there is a limit to what schools can do where the issue has occurred outside of school.

How did he get your DDs number? Glad school took it seriously but DCs should also take care of their phone numbers.

Sorry...'twas I who updated, but am not the OP.

I posted regarding my dd's problems, and updated to give OP some hope and support.

Sorry re the confusion