Cost of private education

[kmid]

Hi, I am considering private secondary education and would like to hear from anyone who has taken this decision who is in a similar situation myself. Financially, for me, it will be a big commitment and I shall have to work almost full time. I will have to juggle sickness/school holidays and it will stretch us. I wonder if anyone is in this situation and whether they feel it has been worth it. I am very keen to do it and have the prospect of a lovely job, but just need to take the plunge! I am also keen to know about hidden costs of private education.

Nocomet:
You forgot one of the commonest (and very good) reasons: because many parents find they are only in the catchment areas for faith-based state schools (and being secular have no chance of getting into them).

So my dd won't be allowed to go to the school who's playground she can see from her back garden. She'll most likely have to go to a school in another borough (unless we choose private - not really what I'd call a choice though).

I have to say I don't have any personal experience of private education (state educated, dd at local catchment comp). And politically I'm against it and probably wouldn't send dd even if it were an option.

But I can't imagine that private schools have the resource limitations of most (all?) state schools. I can see the argument about middle-of-the-road dc being pushed more in private. But equally I suspect that a 'square peg in round hole' dc will also be more likely to get that bit extra.

Example is dd - she's bored shitless in maths lessons, they're very nice about it but the basic bottom line is 'you have to realise she's exceptionally good at maths' ie they don't have the resources to carve out a set of two or three. Even compared to when I was at school it feels like staffing is tighter and everything is more stressed

I suspect some of these issues might be less in a bigger school, but tbh a friend whose ds is also very good at maths (oxbridge maths degree type good) has been in exactly the same boat in a super high performing school with 150 or so in the year group.

takver I think without selection, it's very difficult to get a like ability peer group in a comprehensive setting for the highly able.

The spread of ability range means there just aren't enough at each end of the bell curve to gain critical mass.

DS2 (year 8) is working at a level higher than everyone else in his top Maths set at a large Comp (no grammar schools in our area) and it doesn't seem to be a problem. Not yet anyway. He gets lots of individual attention, gets chosen for Maths Challenges etc and likes feeling special. The only thing that made me a bit was when he said if he wasn't sure of anything he looked it up on the internet!

I meant gets chosen for Team Maths Challenges.

I think size makes a difference, Phaedra - in fact OP although before dd started school I saw the small schools round here as a plus point (very rural area - fewer than 80 in dd's year 7) now I think that in practice both at primary and now at secondary she'd be far better off in a big city school.

You're probably right, Takver. We are talking about very different situations as DS2 has ten classes of thirty in his year alone!

Takver, I just wanted to confirm that I meant you're probably right that size marks a difference. I wouldn't want to comment on whether she'd be better off at a larger school or not!

Wow! That's seriously big :)

Yes, I wasn't happy when the school expanded from six classes each year to ten (when DS1 was in Year 8) but it hasn't been a problem so far. Each Year is its own unit and the Head of Year moves up with each year, so you get to know him or her really well by the end. Both my DSs HoY have been great. I don't think I've ever spoken to the Headteacher, but have never felt the need.

We are very lucky, the vast majority of our state schools are under subscribed. Non of our CofE primaries ever use their "faith" for admissions. One edge of area secondary does (RC schools do).

And yes we have had very bright DCs opt for private (then state secondary) and three form entry state primary because they didn't fit in very small village primaries. DD2 was very lucky, her cohort had 4 equally bright DCs, but with intakes as low as 9, bright Dcs can feel very lonely.

Far, far less of an issue in huge set comprehensives, and even with a grammar taking some of our best pupils we have brilliant A* Oxbridge students who have stayed at the DDs schol.

For me, it was very important that DS wasn't an outlier at school.

I didn't want him to be the top student getting special attention IYSWIM.

I wanted him to have lots of like ability peers, and for him to be dead normal. So we went super selective.

Completely agree with wordfactory that in certain private schools the monetary value is in the breadth of academia and off syllabus "culture" from teachers who have the education and time to deliver them. Even highly educated parents cannot provide the diversity and are less likely to be listened to
The extracurricular opportunities available at certain private schools have the advantage that DC are more likely to be encouraged into trying different things outside their comfort zone by the example if their friends. However for a DC aiming for real excellence in a sport etc, not that many private schools can deliver what is needed.

It's different strokes for different folks, I think.

DS2 has only just started getting special attention this year. He started in Year 7 with a group of friends from primary school, who all had the same SATS results and had been given a lot of extra support from a fantastic Primary School teacher. They're all in the top Maths set now but the teacher has been giving extra work to those who easily pass through previous levels, so that DS is now working at a higher level. I wouldn't be surprised if his friends catch up soon though, they're quite a competitive group!

There are two private schools near us. One is non-selective and doesn't seem to offer much that the comp doesn't or get better results. The other is a selective school, which gets good results and has a strong emphasis on sports, particularly rugby. The boys are all assigned to Squad 1, Squad 2, Squad 3 or the non- squad. My friend's DS is non-squad and feels he has little status at the school. The pastoral care does not seem great.

My son hates rugby and would definitely be in the non-squad. His confidence has been an issue for him and I think he's much more confident in the school he's at, than he would be as a non-squad, averagely achieving pupil at the private academic school we have near us. If my DS's were robustly confident, rugger playing chaps, I might feel differently.

phaedra given those two choices, I can't say I would choose differently to you .

For us, we happen to have Westminster very close at hand, so it seemed logical.

DD on the other hand attends a (private) non selective school and whilst it has been fabulous, I don't think it would have been an apprpriate place for an academic outlier...no critical mass.

That said, DD has decided to join DS at sixth form (if she can get in)...

I have been happy to pay.

Also you won't even have to work full time - just almost full time so will have it easier than many. Why wrote you would have to juggle sickness? Surely a husband is just as likely to have to take time off. Women's careers don't come second.

I agree with word as well as not wanting to flog around 4 counties taking my DS to extra activities 3-4 times a week, I didn't want my DS to be an outlier, I didn't want him to be part of a small elite group getting special attention. I wanted breadth and the "off the syllabus culture to be the norm.
OP you ask whether it's worth working full time juggling sickness and school holidays etc to send your DC's to an independent school. It just depends on your independent school, I personally think many are rubbish and I wouldn't pay for them, your state options, your location, your DC's interests, what you expect from education and as importantly your circumstances.
My DS got a place a few yrs ago for yr 9 at a super selective grammar (a top 10 school) but I would have to driven him every morning 10 miles to pick up the bus and then he would have had a 30 mile journey, and the same at the end of the day, if he'd stayed for an after school club I would have to driven 40 miles one way to pick him up, no motorway just country lanes, they didn't do his sport so I would then have to have driven him twice a week 50 miles (in the opposite direction) to what was then our nearest good club. I also felt the school was an exam factory, I'm not denying that the results are really veryimpressive but I felt true breadth, that off the curriculum study something because it's there breadth was missing. Ok a big saving on school fees but I'm very committed to my job and passionate about the children I work with, I have another DS and a DH (whose often away) if we'd chosen this school I think I would have had my eye permanently on the clock,would have been stressed with the endless driving and neither my other DS or my DH would that've seen me, just my little car endlessly whizzing around in circles for the next five years.
You need to look at your own circumstances what is going to work for you in your situation. Is 7 years of school fees going to be big commitment, a constant drain and worry? Can you send your DC's to state school and then have more time energy and money to provide them with at things outside of school? Do you like taking them to clubs, sporting activities etc I personally can't stand it. What will work best for you?

I think that it does depend hugely on individual circumstances. For us, the choice is pretty straightforward. We live in the catchment of an outstanding comprehensive which sends plenty of pupils to Oxbridge, medical school, good art colleges etc. Looking at the websites of the various local schools, the only activities not available either the comprehensive or within walking distance of my house are candle-making, bee-keeping and riding. There are stables a short drive away, my dad keeps bees and I'm sure that I could learn how make candles from the Internet.

The academic content at the local state school probably doesn't have the richness of classes at the indy, but I come from a pretty academic and international family so the children are fairly regularly exposed to experts in a variety of areas which should pretty much fill the gap. For our family, a quarter of a million pounds would be much better spent on other things.

RunnerFive I think what you say is all factors in the calculation since the cost of private education, especially for boarding schools is very marked compared to the alternative. However, we are an international academic (extended and immediate) family but could not replicate the excitement of extended learning in day to day lessons. The rest we could.

I went to a fantastic state school. I would have happily sent DC to a similar school but we've round ourselves living in an area where the state provision is poor and to the horror of DH and his family I put my foot down and insisted on private school for DS once he hit P7 (and hopefully his sister will follow in a couple of years). There are many reasons why we've gone private but ultimately it came down to my wanting DC to have the same education that I did - both on the academic side and all the extra curriculars.

At DS' private school he's been able to try out all sorts of activities that I wouldn't have the time to source or cart him around to on my own The school encourages students to try everything they have even the slightest curiosity about. If it turns out to not be for them later, they can drop it without any problems. Thanks to this, my completely non-team sport loner is now an enthusiatic rugby player on top of taking part of all sorts of other sports and clubs.

There's a vast gulf between his school and DD's. for example, at DD's school they have just recruited a new music teacher 2.5 years after the last music teacher retired. DD had a 6 week block with the new teacher just before the Easter break. That's her class allocation done for the rest of this year and next. On the other hand, when we attend the Junior school concerts at DS' school there seems to be a never ending stream of music teachers leading group after group after group.

Academically, the local high school offers a grand total of 3 Advanced Highers on top of a very basic range of Highers. According to the Council, the "economic demographics" don't justify offering more. I can't remember how many AH's DS' school offers but it's well over 20.

DH and I argued for months on end about the decision to go private but having two children in a state school and getting increasingly frustrated that they weren't experiencing anything close to what I did as a child, it was non-negotiable for me. If we lived in an area with good schools my views would have been very different.

Talkinpeace

Love the 3Gs !! And I think I agree, from a purist and idealistic standpoint.

"What I am utterly against is state funded segregated schools ( by god, gonads or grammar)
I've always said : you want segregation, cough up !"