Harrow or where for DS?

[TheBeautifulVisit]

He's 10. He's super-bright and sporty. And blond. I've noticed when I drop him off at school that he's blonder than all the other children and when he jumps, he jumps that bit higher, and more elegantly, than all the other boys. His prep school say he was made to be world king. Up to now I haven't been entirely convinced about that, but then I got to thinking, why would they say that if it wasn't true? We will have only paid them £150,000 by the time he leaves prep, plus another £300,000 for his two younger brothers. What would be their incentive to make shit up if it isn't true?

Little things like money and geography are minor details, I just want the right school for my future world king.

Please advise. Which is the correct school for him?

[TheBeautifulVisit]

Martorana - Will you send her to Tring School for the Performing Arts? It's reassuringly expensive and they seem to have a way with red heads. As well as teaching the essential circus skills.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

A word if warning. Apparently Win College had a redhead housemaster in the 1980s. They eurhanised him after he was found playing Rod Stewart records in his rooms, late into the night. The boys in his house were understandably traumatised and a don had to deal with them crying (to the tune of 'I am Sailing') in div the following day. But that might be rumour.

[Needmoresleep]

Bedales, Steiner, Queen Ethelburga?

[Needmoresleep]

Or grow his hair and let him apply CLSG, SHHS, SPGS, LEH, G&L, LUS, JAGS, WHS and more.

New interview question. Form an anagram using the initials of the schools you have applied to.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

Thanks, Needsmoresleep. We've ruled out Queen Ethelburga's because the salt licks in the stables were running worryingly low when we visited. And some of the ponies' hooves looked as though they hadn't been oiled for days, if not weeks.

[Mignonette]

I think you need to phone Gwyneth Paltrow and see if you can tutor share with her.

Her tutor needed to speak twenty eight languages, be able to not only play in all the sections of a symphonic orchestra but conduct it too, have won The Americas Cup, thrashed Federer, know the words to 'Straight Out of Compton' and be able to do the 'All The Single Ladies' dance better than Bey.


The tutor also needs to wear size zero in their white Rag & Bone jeans and not get any of the rustic hand picked San Marzano tomato and kale sauce on them during private cooking sessions with Jamie Oliver.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

Mignonette - rofl

[wordfactory]

I've just spoken to Gwynnie and phew I don't need her tutor (to be honest she was fairly sub standard, no sanskrit or old norse, I ask you...) but she's passed on the details of her hairdresser.

Apparently he can have my DC's hair the correct colour by Easter, using a no-carb-oraganic-macrobiotic compound of quinoa and maple bark...

You can imagine my relief!

[Mignonette]

No Old Norse despite that Scandi - Blonde hair???

Gwynnie is slipping up .

The only way you can get Gwynnie highlights is by having the light of God beaming down on you all day like a celestial kleig light?

[TheBeautifulVisit]

(This thread is like Mumsnet in the olden days. Before Ford (not Gina), Cadbury's Pebbles and all the pongy people with poor grammar came along.)

[Needmoresleep]

Before the penis beaker?

I credit Statesmom. Perhaps you are Statesmom with a namechange and following a trip to the hairdresser.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

Needmoresleep - Yes before that.

[dellon]

Martorana

I am worried now...just how blue are your DS's eyes...because that matters....my DS, unfortunately now also a brunette, had the most traffic arresting blue eyes as a small child...now he is older, they are a dull wishy-washy gray- blue ...I worry this might affect his life chances and thus we have limited out aspirations to one of those highly selective day schools that charge a mere 16,000 a year ...anything more we felt would be overreaching given his lack of blondeness.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

dellon - hmmm. Gresham's is excellent for bringing on wishy-washy gray eyes. The huge Norfolk skies inject azure blue, even from the mullion windows.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

It occured to me this morning that it is all so fearsomely competitive. There are literally millions of people chasing these places and not everyone can be that brilliant. I won't love him very much less if he doesn't get into Harrow, Eton or Winchester. Is it very wrong though that I might feel a twinge of regret should he go to Radley? I keep telling myself that the fact that although it doesn't have a preposterous uniform, it is reassuringly expensive.

I so want blond DS to be happy and go on to fulfil his potential.

Does this school exist? Is it Harrow?

[offblackeggshell]

I'm concerned for your younger two. Are they less blonde? Or are you also looking for somewhere with a strong sibling policy?

[Lilymaid]

Is your son Fotherington-Thomas? In which case, I'm sure that your son's headmaster, Mr Grimes, will be glad to help you in your choice of school.

[ArgyMargy]

Don't you mean skool, Lily? (shameless page marking of thread that has really made me laugh - and to think I nearly didn't click on it!)

[maillotjaune]

Christ's Hospital has yellow socks, no? Make sure you check that the yellow is compatible with the blondness.

The buildings are more Palace than Hospital so may be good practice for World Kingliness.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

Ah interesting. I'll have to ponder on that over the weekend.

It's not just the nagging feeling that the colour yellow would be quite wrong for blond DS, but I also worry that yellow may itch. Does it itch more than sky He is very fair. I know this is just me being silly since Christ's Hospital socks are made from the finest cashmere, spun from actual Norland nannies.

[MyCatsRule]

Best thread ever.

[cakeisalwaystheanswer]

Not sure about that MyCatsRule, I think the best thread ever has to be the "best school in the world". If only statesmom would come back and give some advice.

[TheBeautifulVisit]

Can a blond boy who's a good fit for sky-blue socks also be a good fit for yellow socks? I'm not so sure buy maybe he can.

A friend of a friend emailed last night to say Christ's Hospital yellow cashmere socks are made from retired Norland nannies. Hmm. Sounds like that could present problems for blond DS. So much of what you need to know about these schools isn't in the brochure.

I'm so grateful for people sharing their expertise on this thread. We are going to spend the weekend discussing it.

[Mignonette]

Actually you are both wrong about the provenance of those socks.

They are spun from the combings from Gwyneths forearms. The soft peachy fuzz is gathered at Dawn by a choir of angels, washed in the tears of all those not born Golden and then woven to the sounds of harps by the massed ranks of Eunuchs.

The Pope himself blesses each one too.