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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

How old to not need Mum when sent home sick

17 replies

theITgirl · 31/01/2014 14:23

Pondering this today when I was driving to pick up ds from his school.

I got the call this morning, while at work, left message for HR bod and quick discussion with team leader about priorities next week when she is on hols.

Ds is in year 8 and 12 years old, very sensible lad. Walks home by himself, then either does homework or plays minecraft till I get back up to an hour later.

Ds was feeling sick, so not well enough for school, but also no nursing actually required. Basically he wanted me, but didn't need me.

What does everyone else do?

OP posts:

waltzingparrot · 31/01/2014 14:38

I think if there is a chance they could actually throw up, I'd want to be there. I can't imagine my 12 yr DS coping with that on his own and I wouldn't want him to. also, there'd be a trail of sick all round house, sick covered t- shirt left in a pile who knows where, and presumably he'd flop on the settee rubbing all that sick into the cushions - nope, I'd def take the time off.

A woman where I work, took the day off to nurse her daughter cos she had a sore throat and wanted her mum - the daughter's twenty!

brettgirl2 · 31/01/2014 14:42

Schools don't like sending any child home (up to Y11) on their own if they are not well. I taught years ago so I suspect they are even more cautious now......

brettgirl2 · 31/01/2014 14:43

but of course once he is at home it is up to you to decide if he is OK - 2 separate issues.....

morethanpotatoprints · 31/01/2014 14:48

I think if you need them you should be there up to about age 16 when they could actually be in the world on their own.
If you want to leave them earlier than this it is up to you, but I couldn't leave mine if they specifically said they wanted me there.
They are all different. My eldest would have been mortified for me to look after him after about 13, the second one was about 18 and heaven knows with dd.

purpleroses · 31/01/2014 14:59

Depends how sick they are. I've left DS from about 11 if he's just had a bad cold. Just phoned him regularly to check on him. But wouldn't want to leave him alone if he was throwing up - even now he's 14. Big teenagers can suddenly turn into little children when they're ill and need their mums.

bumpybecky · 31/01/2014 15:06

We've had a vomiting bug in the house this week, after a really nasty cough last week. Both DH and I have had two weeks of working slightly odd hours or working from home to accommodate.

Today we both absolutely had to be at work this morning. We ended up leaving dd3 (8) in charge! She's not been sick since Wednesday evening, so feels fine but can't go back to school. dd1 (15) started being sick in the night and was asleep for most of the morning. They coped fine :)

Original poster

theITgirl · 31/01/2014 15:15

Thanks for all your comments. Will not leave him for a few more years yet.

No vomiting, but just had a touch of the D. Thankfully it is now the weekend and he should be better by Monday.

I just hope he is not generous and share it with the rest of us!!

OP posts:

Orangeanddemons · 31/01/2014 15:18

I currently have my poorly ds age 20 upstairs with tonsillitis. He's come home from uni because he wanted looking after!

littledrummergirl · 31/01/2014 21:52

I had an operation last year and although Dh was great, - he brought me chocolates and soup/ comfort foid and lots of cuddles- I just wanted my mum.

123caughtaflea · 01/02/2014 22:43

I remember collapsing with what was subsequently diagnosed as full-on proper migraine at school aged 13/14. I knew I would be sick and the pain was making me cry despite the fact that I didn't want to at all because the sobs shook my head and therefore hurt it more.

I had had this before, I did know that basically I needed a dark quiet room and it would pass (in about 8 hours, but it would pass).

My mum was an LP and also a f/t student at uni about an hour away.

School rang her and she asked them to ask me if I'd be Ok going home alone in a taxi and dealing with things or if I wanted her to come.

I said I'd be Ok, but I wished she would come - school apparently did not pass on the last part of the message. I went home in a taxi - had to ask the driver to stop twice en route so I could vomit at the side of the road - and crawled up to bed - with a vomit bowl - until she got home several hours later. IIRC, I even let the dogs out into the garden briefly before I flaked out.

So I was, practically, Ok. I knew what to do, I managed and no harm came to me.

But it was desolate. I felt so ill and I did want my mum to come to me very badly.

Crowler · 02/02/2014 09:25

I'm thinking 15 or so. I couldn't leave my children alone if they could possibly vomit even though I would desperately want to.

Starballbunny · 02/02/2014 09:34

I have left DD2(12) most of the day second day of a vile cold because I'd promised I'd take my elderly father to the hospital.

She was absolutely fine about it, she just wanted the sofa.

Crowler · 02/02/2014 09:39

I would leave a 12 year old alone for a cold.

QuietNinjaTardis · 02/02/2014 09:41

When I had hyperemesis last year and had been hospitalised and my mum came to stay to help look after me and ds I cried when she walked through the door as I was so relieved to see her. I'm 32
I think it depends on the illness. A cold when you're a teenager, you can look after yourself. Sickness, you need your mum.

KatieScarlett2833 · 02/02/2014 09:43

Depends on the illness. A cold or tummy bug, fine to leave them.

Bumply · 02/02/2014 09:50

Secondary school age I've left my boys at home on their own with minor illnesses/headaches. I wouldn't if they were throwing up or not fit enough to get themselves food and drink. I've always asked if they're ok with that. If they said no I'd work at home.

Bumply · 02/02/2014 09:52

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