Son 'wagged' school today, but school didn't tell me until lunch time

[Joy5]

My youngest son 'wagged' school today, hes Y11, first time as far as i know. I'd woken him as i left for work, he'd spoken to me and reached for his mobile as usual so went off as usual.

He claims he fell asleep again, and didn't wake till late morning. Am dealing with him, hes grounded (hes in a mega strop so more like a punishment for me!), and taken away his internet access for the next few days.

School rang me at nearly half twelve, to ask where he was. Thats nearly 4 hours after registration. The first time they've never received a phone call if hes been off sick, am i being totally overprotective to think they should have called me after registration?

Am i taking things too far, if i write to complain about the 4 hour delay in telling me he wasn't there, to the Head and or Governors? My minds been working overtime that he could have been abducted, or gone somewhere himself, while i thought he was safe at school.

I don't think 4 hours is unreasonable for a year 11 student at all.

By the time you've got through a timelag for general lateness, accounted for all the phone-calls for illness etc

Thank you for responding, youngest of 3 and i've no experience of 'wagging'!

Its a large secondary, think i'd always assumed school would contact me asap if one of my children didn't turn up, especially for the first time.

We send texts out and they go late morning. If they are not replied to then the attendance office will go round to the house.

I send any messages on from the main reception answer phone at about 8.15 to the attendance officer, whilst she is is busy taking off all the messages from hers. I am also taking constant calls and putting them through to her answer phone from the minute I turn the phone on till mid day.

She is trying to take the messages off, log them all to SIMS whilst signing in the lates at the same time. Once the registers have been done then she will go and check the classes for those that may have sneaked in after registration and appear on the first/second lesson register just in case a mistake has been made, then texts are done.

All the above takes time.

I agree it takes time to take register, then phone all parents starting with Y7's.

The same thing happened to us when DS was in Y8. He decided there was no point in going to school because it was sports day.

DH got a phone call at work at 2.30. DH is usually a very calm person, but as DS leaves for school at 7.30am, he had been "missing" for 7 hours, and DH's reaction wasn't very calm! He was told the school are not obliged to phone parents when pupils are absent.

I think, as your DS is in Y11, they probably did phone you asap, as they were dealing with all the younger pupils who hadn't turned up first.

Seem to get text messages about everything, from fundraising to retirement collections, but no text today about something i'd consider essential.

Can't believe they have to type each mobile number independently for all parents each time, so they must have some automatic system in place.

Thanks for all the supportive advice and those given constructive also.

A child in Rotherham the same age as my son, just a few miles from my home, was found by police yesterday, after being missing from before Christmas. The news has just confirmed my fears, these things do happen unfortunately,

Have given constructive advice to school, maybe an automated response to all parents that their child is missing after registration (which is done via classroom pcs) would be more helpful, leaving parents to do the chasing if required, then a phone call later in the day if there is no further contact from the parent, would reduce the stress i faced earlier this week on being told my son had been missing from school for nearly four hours.

11.30-12pm if you forget to ring is usual here.

I love the idea the attendance officer might call at the house if you don't answer. I'd love that job. Our catchment is huge, rural and pretty. You'd use a lot of petrol chasing only to find the parent lives in a mobile black spot or has run out of credit.

Back in the days of paper registers you probably wouldn't have found out for weeks until the teacher finally realised that Johnny hadn't produced an absence note.

If you want to be informed directly after registration, then expect a lot of false alerts, where the register hadn't been taken bang on time due to assembly/supply teacher/whatever. You'd also get a text if you just hadn't got around to phoning him in sick yet. Or if his bus was late, or if he skipped registration to take a sick friend to reception or to run an errand or speak to another teacher.

Leaving it a while until he is very definitely absent might be the saner option.

"maybe an automated response to all parents that their child is missing after registration (which is done via classroom pcs)"

At the moment with the storms/floods buses are not arriving till 20 mins after the lessons start.
Also SIMS has been known to go badly wrong, and not save registers.
An automated response would cause everybody (parents, teachers, office staff) grief.

Joy5, I think you need to come to terms with the idea that your son is almost an adult and that a short absence shouldn't lead to the same panic as with a 5 yo.

Yes, a teen went missing in Rotherham. Adults too go missing from time to time. Sometimes adults turn out to have been killed. It doesn't mean there has to be an instant reaction and notifying of relatives every time somebody is an hour late for work.

The school did react. They just didn't prioritise the call about your almost grown up son over the calls about much younger children.

Of course nobody wants their teen to skive off school. But I do wonder why your instant reaction would be that he would be in immediate danger by doing so? Doesn't he move out and about without adult control in his free time? Would the outside world suddenly become a greater threat if he'd skived off today than it would be on, say, an inset day?

The reason most people worry about truanting teenagers is because there is an added risk that they will get into bad habits and make unsuitable contacts over a period of time: not because a 15/16yo can't set a foot outside of school without immediate danger.

We have Groupcall which alerts us to a non attendance by around 10am from P1 right through High School. It follows a tragic incident a few years ago and I'm very grateful for it.

Thanks SirChenjin.

It might only be a slight chance, my child is almost an adult, but he isn't yet, hes supposed to be in school, and i have a legal responsibility to make sure hes there.

4 hours isn't a short absence, i've had 3 texts from school this week, about minor matters that i didn't appreciate being texted about. My child not arriving at school is a major matter to me, occasional texts saying he'd been late for registration wouldn't bother me at all. I'd much rather have those, and be able to react straight away to an incident if it happened.

I live in the centre of a major city, most children walk to school or are driven, its also one of the hilliest cities in England and school is at the highest point! So mentioning floods and storms that never happened in my locality is totally pointless! As i said we live a few minutes walk away from school.

When I used to truant ( bad I know!) the school would send a letter home which didn't arrive until at least a week later. When it became more of a regular occurrence they would text my dad. Usually it's one receptionist left to deal with a mount of work

Perhaps this is the future of child-tracking

I do hope not......

Agree Joy.

We get an automated text message, followed up by a phone call, usually late morning. DD1 has triggered these several times by arriving a few minutes late, then not bothering to check in for late registration.

But I agree with what several have said - the focus should initially be on the youngest ones, and I don't think four hours is unreasonable for notification of absence for an almost-adult (who is probably out and about alone on a regular basis at his age).