Marlborough College or Rugby School?

[juliandickgeorgeandann]

Opinions and experiences of these two schools welcome. Which is more academic? Sportier? Which is better at preparing pupils for the real world? At which are the pupils happier? Think I want co-ed for DS but not a school where the girls "take over" and dominate lessons. I suspect Marlborough may be for v v posh?

Ehhn I personally wouldn't choose Marlborough but we can all wheel out anecdotal stories of the boy our DH met at Uni who was arrogant, stupid, the "biggest shagger" etc and assume that he represents the whole school whether it be Marlborough, Eton Win Coll or Billericay Comprehensive. My anecdotal story; the most decent, funniest, loveliest person Ive ever known went to Marlborough now old and middle aged like me but I never assumed that if I sent my DS's there they would turn out like him. I've met lots of current Marlborough boys some were arrogant rude arses some were lovely. These characteristics be they good or bad are already established in us long before we go to school especially at 13+ the school may enable us to develop then further but I don't believe that any school completely changes a 13 yr olds innate personality.

DS loves playing rugby, plays guitar (for fun), quite academic but not amazingly so (probably in say top 20% at prep, will go for scholarships I think), very laid back; to tell the truth I think that he would be happiest with girls around, he's quite sensitive and has a mixed group of friends at home which seems to suit him. Vivatregina how did Rugby suit your family as expats? Was it busy at weekends?

I went to oundle (a few years ago now). Although there is a day house, it is definitely a full boarding school. There were a few exeats a weekend when I was there. Would be surprised if these had disappeared altogether but it's definitely full boarding rather than weekly. Other than exeats we weren't allowed out overnight at weekends. I would highly recommend it. Not too up on itself at all

Just checked oundle website. There are 5 girls boarding houses, 8 boys boarding houses and 1 day house. I can see reference to 2 exeats a year.

Happy I understand your point and I wouldn't have written anything but was struck that another poster had noted similar behaviour. I tutor in the area and so have picked up many students from the major public schools as well as knew a lot when I was At a girls' school that held socials with Marlborough, radley and win col (within the last decade).

Schools definitely have an atmosphere based on attitudes to bullying, level and nature of pastoral care, numbers of female students and staff etc etc. 30 years ago Marlborough was a very different school. Today, it is different and it was interesting to note that another poster had witnessed similar things. Radley, Cheltenham, Winchester all have their own feel too. Even the choice of house can affect the experience and growth of a child- So I can understand a parent wanting to post about a school to ask about recent experiences. For example, I have an inside connection to a certain boys' school (major teaching problems) and another girls' school which I wouldn't touch with a barge pole. The girls' school gets top results and has incredible facilities, but what is less well known is that they have a serious issue with eating disorders and self harm. At one point, in a year of 70, 5 girls were in treatment facilities for mental health and eating disorders. Definitely not stuff that you find on th prospectus and kept very, very quiet. You only find out these things through knowing people, being there (ahem) or asking directly for students' and parents' experiences... Or posting on MN!

Anyway, op,I think good call for favouring rugby!

If he is supersonically sensitive and called Thaddeus and likes lying in the grass making pictures out of the clouds he'd probably prefer Bedales. Rugby has been fine for them being expat boarders - everyone is in for every weekend except leave outs and exeats anyway so school always full.if he likes playing Rugby he's in the right school. one of my sons is in the top Rugby team - I'm not keen on sports and would probably prefer him lying in grass making cloud pictures - def less chance of injury!

Wow lots of quite negative feedback about Marlborough. Has anyone got anything positive to say about school esp re girls. As I said when we spoke to school at ISS DD and I really liked what they said and about approach to education. She is really keen to visit. Now wondering if I should save the petrol. Don't want school that talks good talk and reality very different!

King's definitely doesn't empty out at the weekend. There are three day houses and 12 boarding houses - all boarders are full boarders. It's a great school but if you do go for it, choose your boarding house carefully: they have really distinct characters and although the school in general may be a good fit for your son, he could be miserable in the wrong house.

vivatregina Thaddeus, Bedales definitely not on our list for DS (although we almost sent DD1 there)
The point about house choice is interesting. Can they change if they end up in a house that is a bad fit (in any school)? The thought of 5 miserable years because of a wrong choice based on limited knowledge seems very harsh. I was under the impression that the house was allocated based on prep Headmaster recommendation to the senior school, and visit to school (and maybe chatting with housemasters if they are around). DS1 got allocated a house at his school apparently based on the fact that he was a rugby player, and they needed to beef up the house rugby team. I didn't give it much more thought at the time, as DS1 is a bit more robust than DS2 and just got on with it.

I thought you could register your DC with a particular house at Kings, a friend was definitely telling me a couple of years ago that she'd put her DC's name down for a certain house because she and her DC really liked liked the house master. I assuming he went to that house, it never crossed my mind he didn't frankly.
At most schools you can choose a house well at least at all the ones I've ever looked at. Of course HM's can leave at any time and this changes the style and ethos of a house but that's a chance you take.

my two sons went to Rugby and it is fantatsic. Down to earth and no posers. If you want the Middleton social climbing scene go to Marlborough. If you want children that come out with a sense of purpose and quiet confidence but do not feel superior Rugby is where the should go. It is very confident of iots place in the world and does not need to shout about it. They say teh best Girls school in teh UK

and we know which school that is dont we ..?

Well it isn't SPGS, CLC, Downe House or Wycombe who have the quoted number of ill girls as they none of them have 70 girls in a year.

Of course some girls might have counselling in a school with good pastoral care as their mothers might be ill, or their parents might be going through a nasty divorce. I'd rather the school spotted there were problems and helped their students deal with them than brush them under the carpet.

DS has a friend who attends Rugby. I couldn't imagine her being happy in a 'snobby' school, but I don't actually know much about the place & even less about Marlborough.

I must contradict the comment about those who board not knowing cleaning/cooking skills. DS was a messy devil before he started boarding, he's now magnificently tidy, plus he's a phenomenal cook. I guess I'm just very lucky & those numerous food based activities offered by the school helped!

Good luck with your search OP.

Rugby more down to earth than Marlborough which is heavily a London and home counties school in terms of where pupils live. The Rugby girls were hugely impressive when we went to look for our DD but we did feel that maybe the boys were rather over-shadowed by them. There is no doubt that it is an excellent school though and we have lots of friends who are very happy with it. Our DD went to Stowe in the end which was brilliant for her and may suit your DS. Excellent Headmaster though I dont know for how much longer as he has been there for 10 years now. Shrewsbury also much less pretentious than alot of schools and very much an all-rounders place it turns out really nice individuals rather than sausage machine 'types'. Oundle is also excellent and produces a very strong work ethic in children, hence their results, but it is very structured and strict. By 6th form some children are climbing the walls. Some parents like this though and it may suit your child. Good luck. Choosing schools is the hardest thing but if you do get it wrong it is not the end of the world, you can always move them. The children that end up in their house with them in their year are crucial to success and you have no control over that. Go with your gut instinct when visiting rather than listening too much to others as you will find good and bad reviews for all schools.

Oooh Uppingham is fab-u-lous! One of the best coed boarding schools in the country IMHO! May be biased however, as BIL has his DD and DS at Uppingham and both absolutely love it! The DD is very arty and sporty and the DS is very academic and loves music and they both reall fit in there! It's a lovely school too, looks like Hogwarts and I loved the idea of in-house dining with your houseparents too! Also very good boy/girl balance, something like 400 boys and 330 girls so neither sex is overpowered by the other. Excellent pastorally care and very good academic results too! Turns out lovely young people too. If I lived nearer I'd send the DC's!

Oops just saw this was somewhat of a dead thread!

It is an old thread but I second everything said about Uppingham in last post. Have 2 DCs there , very different personalities, sporting interests and academic ability. Both very happy - and have to disagree with another thread about Uppingham treating girls as sex objects. My sons did not recognise this as acceptable behaviour and neither did the girls ( I have several friends with daughters there and asked them and their mothers if they had any concerns.) it is a very happy, down to earth school and I thoroughly recommend it.

almapudden，Could you share the character of boy house of King's school, Canterbury? I'm facing to choose the right house for ds but have no clue.

Marlborough College kids haunt the local Greggs for sausage rolls and fizzy pop and fruit shoots.