Independent middle School entry for boy from state comprehensive. Remote chance??

[Annabellina]

Hi - Has anyone any experience of this situation? My ds is in Yr 8 at our local all boys comp in South London and we were pleased when he got a place there. Many of his friends went there and generally a lot more children of educated parents were in the mix. Great arts provision, his passion is music, and he is provided with some good opportunities and is well supported. School also excels in dance, drama etc. He seems to be making some progress in the subjects that they are effectively streamed in, but the school does not seem to stretch him at all and he is - as is quite normal amongst teenage boys - pretty lazy about doing just what is asked and NO MORE. He is very dyslexic, but highly articulate and imaginative and I think school just think he is doing fine, considering. I am absolutely sure he has more to offer and to discover within the academic sphere (humanities - he's never going to be brilliant at maths). The school has quite a lot of playground aggro, so much so that two of his best friends left last year (for an alternative state school). His best friend is moving abroad forever at Christmas. He can generally handle the aggro, he's small but surprisingly strong (he's a gymnast and drummer so very developed) but it definitely adds a layer of tension to his days. I have just cracked and thought he should have a shot at our local private schools which are highly selective. We deliberately didn't pursue it for year 7 on ideological grounds, plus we couldn't have afforded it. Now I'll sell a kidney or something and hurl my principles into the compost, but we've left it so late. Not sure if we can even secure the services of a tutor for the next 6 weeks - they're all booked up. However, he simply won't have covered all the curriculum that the prep school boys will have.... Is it just an absurd thought? He has mixed feelings. Likes the prospect of a electric guitar bribe but not sure about the upheaval, the going to a 'posh' school thang (both his parents were privately educated), change of friendships, MASSES OF HOMEWORK (currently gets virtually none). Likes the thought of ' a less hectic atmosphere', oh and one of them is co-ed and he likes the idea of the girls.... Any thoughts would be very gratefully received.

Also with my cousins one had an amazing opportunity to go to top public school on a sports scholarship and her parents were dead against it...she too holds a bitter grudge against them!

IdRatherPlay, we very seriously looked at moving last year to a better catchment (we're in Scotland and it's catchment school or nothing) but both DS and DD have a collection of lovely friends here and other than the local high school, we are happy with our location. DD was very upset at the thought of moving.

The local school has positioned itself as a vocational school- only 7% generally pass enough Highers to go onto university and various uni courses such as medicine and veterinary medicine are shut off to students because the school doesn't offer all of the required Highers and Advanced Highers. It's also one of the schools limiting courses in S4 to 5 (you take 8 in DS' new school). All of this is fine if that is what suits your child but I was deeply unhappy at limiting my DC's choices at such an early age. DH disagreed but I put my foot down and said it was not negotiable.

I'm sorry your family had such disagreements as well- it's a very upsetting fight to have!

DC is very good. Many boys start in Year 9, from all sorts of schools and they have a real push to integrate them- it's a new start for everyone.
Fantastic facilities and academics and pastoral.

Thank you. Despite living comfortably on a very modest income indeed we are actually in the unusually lucky position of being able to afford the fees because we have an asset we can liquidate (had been thinking it would put him through University, but we'll cross that bridge...) Also we feel particularly grateful that ds has had a pretty damn good FREE education to date. Since it has become a possibility he has admitted that he very much wants to go to DC and that actually having to put up with the daily aggro and conflict at school is exhausting. So that decides us. It's been great hearing all your contributions - I feel particularly gratified that my - super-privileged first-world - problem has prompted such sympathetic and insightful responses. And suitably chastened by the horror stories of families where the different path was not chosen.

I used to work there (long ago) and it is an amazing school. Very diverse intake and wonderful staff. I loved working there. The boys were great fun - clever and quirky and all individuals. I have worked in other Public Schools but Dulwich really is special.

Good luck. I wish I lived close enough to send my son there.

Roseformeplease

What a lovely post! I am really happy to hear what you have to say. My ds was particularly impressed by the kindness of all the staff he has met so far and we have heard that from several sources. I am beginning to let myself be excited by the prospect!

Well done to him and I wish him much happiness and success x

Amazing. Well done to your DS. I'm also quite buoyed by the fact that your DS got in at 13 with just 6 weeks of preparation - worth people noting this when you look at the neurosis and years of tutoring and prep that seems to be more and more 'normal' in south west London at least. He is obviously a smart boy with lots to offer. I hope he has a wonderful time.

Yes fizzly , all of that pressure must be so debilitating for all concerned. I was very glad we opted out of it all for Year 7 entry. Horrendous. But then ds was nowhere near ready to apply himself at that time even if we'd been interested. I am fairly sure DC made some big allowances for ds since he had not had a conventional Prep school approach and they are keen to expand the pool.... I will be speaking to the head of middle school about what ds needs to do to get up to speed and I fully expect him to have a list of ds's gaps. But yes - I hope it lets others know that you don't have to get too hysterical about it all for too long, if it is the right place for your dc. Thanks for your lovely message of congratulation.