If your kid has behaviour problems at school...

[lljkk]

How often are you asked to go in person to talk about it?

My pastoral staff meet with some parents each half term, others are on a programme of meetings every 4 weeks or so.

Thx for reply. Since you appear to have some insider info, may I ask... how would I go about asking what school thinks they can do to support child with history of behaviour problems (but not statemented)? I know it varies a bit by county, just trying to get rough feel. It feels odd to talk to SEN people when DS has no statement, but would they think it was odd that I wanted to chat with them? Who else would I talk to? Some kind of student centre, maybe?

The first line would be through your child's head of year or similar I would think. Usually some kind of testing can be done.

SEN staff deal with loads of unstatemented children all the time, it won't be odd at all, Go all to them if you are worried.

I asked about in person visits because it could have bearing on which high school we choose, iyswim. Might as well choose one that's convenient if we have to go up there a lot.

I would ring the school and ask them who I should make an appointment with: SEN officer or pastoral support officer; they will be able to give you a name. They might also suggest the meeting inclused the Head of Year for the next year. That's what they did for dd (medical problems and poor attendance). We chose the school that seemed most constructive in their thinking- this is the problem, how would you deal with it?- and our trust in them turned out to be fully justified. Dd went from bad to worse, almost dropping out altogether, but they never lost their can-do attitude.

yeah, sounds good, I can't think of a better strategy, anyway. Thx.

you don't have to have a statement to seek advice from SEN staff, what with getting a statement being as hard as it is, there are plenty of SEN children without one.

I talk to the SENCOs about all three of my children, reasonably regularly, non of them have statements. Most SEN children do not have statements.

With the one with behavioural difficulties, at the worst time it has been about 1 a fortnight with emails/phone calls in between.

If you are asking this in choosing secondary schools, have you spoken to the SENCOS? Because they vary a lot and can be key to how well difficult children are dealt with. Far more important than distance.

But if you want to help your child, you need to be pro-active, and talking to the school about how to handle your child. What are the underlying difficulties etc.

I have talked to the SENCo and the head of transition/Year 7 at school A - and subsequently with the headteacher and the SENCo, at my request.

At school B, I talked to the acting SENCo and subsequently the new SENCo and the headteacher, but separately at that school.

At school C, I talked with the SENCo at an Open Evening, but I didn't proceed with that one.

At school D (separate admissions process, so not quite as urgent, therefore not progressed as far yet), I had a half hour phone conversation with the head and am going in to meet the head and see the school after half-term.

On the CAF, I have put School A, School B and School C.

I took the route of talking to the SENCo to cover bases re the school acknowledging that DS certainly does have behavioural issues, but they are part of his wider additional needs and talking to headteachers, because if schools choose to head down a punitive behaviour management programme, in the schools I was looking at (i.e. not massive ones) the exclusion decision would ultimately be that of the headteacher.

I asked about in person visits because it could have bearing on which high school we choose, iyswim. Might as well choose one that's convenient if we have to go up there a lot.

I don't know what you mean, surely the imperative is to chose the right school for your child, rather than chose one which is convenient for you. Put your child first and there might be fewer visits. Treat your child with sufficient respect to call him a child and not a kid and I guess his behaviour might improve.

I'm quite shocked that you would chose the school that meant the least possible effort for you than the school that was the best for your child. Have you ever reflected on why your child might have problems if your attitude is one of can't really be bothered to put myself out.

That's how your posts read to me anyway.

um, school which I find easiest to communicate with is likely to be sign of best choice, no?

Thanks for other replies.
Talking to their SENCO is great idea, and glad to learn I won't sound like a loon to insist on talking to their SENCOs, but talk is cheap & may mean nothing in practice.

I'm having trouble understanding what a CAF form is, who gets to fill one in and why or how. Anyone care to explain when how or why a CAF form would be filled in? Our county doesn't have CAF forms anyway, we have Family Support Forms. Which appear to be about safe-guarding not SEN-lite. How do you guys find out about these things if you don't have a statemented youngster?

CAF or common application form, the one that has to be in by Thursday to your county/LA with your choice of schools if your child is in year 6.

oh right... so CAF is just the usual form to apply for secondary admissions? The way MNers talk about it seems so complicated but in my experience it was actually very simple. Maybe we have different forms in this county .

When you talk to them listen to what they are actually saying. Are they making vague promises about how inclusive they are in general or are they actually thinking through the potential scenarios you mention to them?

With dd's school we could really see the cogwheels turning behind their eyes. There was something about the way the SENCO and the HoY kept turning to each other and saying "oh, we could do this, how about this" that just showed that they were used to working as a team to get the best outcome.

The school we wrote off straightaway was the one where they gave a predigested speech about "cherishing every child as an individual" and their ethos, but didn't really respond to any of the practical points we made.

I think CAF used to stand for Common Assessment Framework which was used when multiple agencies/professionals were involved in a child's needs/welfare. I have never heard the school application form referred to as a CAF OP - thought it was just a Secondary school application preference form

Absolutely ask to meet with the SENCO. Honestly, they will not mind one bit.

We have had a few parents recently who have made appts to have a look around in the school day with the head and then gone on to meet with the SENCO.