Anyone's DC passed for a grammar school but not gone there?

[Putitonthelist]

Have found out that my DD has passed for the local grammar school. She passed easily but there is only one other girl from her year who has passed.

The dilemma is that local comprehensive school is also excellent and that's where the rest of her close group of friends will be going.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Half of me feels that if she has passed the grammar exam she should go but I'm worried about how she will feel about going without any of her friends. I have spoken to her about it and she is undecided what to do. Any advice?

She should go to the grammar school.

Okay,

1. What sort of results does the local comprehensive get? If, for example, it gets a couple to Oxbridge most years, it's obviously capable of coping with the brightest children. What is the A/A* pass rate at GCSE/A level?

2. How difficult is the journey to the grammar school? If it's going to be an hour and a half on the bus every day I'd think very, very carefully. I assume that as it's local the comprehensive is eay to get to.

3. Lastly, what does your DD think? I wouldn't let her make the final decision - that's a very big and potentially very stressful decision for a 10 year old. But I'd certainly take her views into consideration.

If your local comprehensive is excellent (lucky you !), and your daughter is bright enough to have passed the grammar exam, I would imagine that she will do just as well at either school. Bright children at one of our lowest performing local secondary schools have been known to achieve A*/As at GCSE!

The only thing I would say about friendship groups, is that they can change radically between primary and secondary, so not neccesarily always vital to go with friends. I imagine quite a few girls at the grammar will be in the same position as your dd, if it has a large catchment.

Thank you both.

Jeee, both schools are Ofsted Outstanding, Grammar is a Grade 1 school and they both produce excellent results.

Not much in it distance wise tbh. 20 min walk to comp, 30 min walk (in opposite direction) or one stop on the tram to the grammar school.

I will definitely take her views into consideration - but I also think am I crazy to be even debating it when she has passed with such a good score, I just don't want to make the wrong decision.

Two of mine went to the grammar 10 miles away rather than the local comprehensive. Most of the intake in year 7 didn't know anyone else but as there were coaches laid on to get the children to school they got to know people really quickly on the journey to school.

If your daughter got into the grammar easily then think very carefully before turning it down. I've just come back from parent's evening at the outstanding comprehensive where my youngest child is at school and the culture is very different from the one I've got used to with the older two. At the grammar the assumption was that all children would get A and A* and the speed and depth at which they worked meant that the all would be stretched and challenged. At the outstanding comprehensive it seems to be about constant monitoring and nagging. I'm possibly being unfair here but the two eldest loved school and all the opportunities it gave them. Both are now at good universities.

Thanks greenheart that's interesting.

I'm glad I can get advice on here as I feel unable to talk to some of the other Mums about it.

Reading your responses you sound as though you've already made your mind up. But sometimes just writing things down clarifies the issue doesn't it. I have to say, in your situation, I'm sure I'd put the grammar down as first choice.

FWIW, DD1 was one of 4 girls who went to the same school as her, and DS one of 2 boys who went to his school. They have both been very happy, and have had no problems making new friends (they're in years 7 & 8).

DD1 only had 1 other girl from her primary school go to the grammar school with her. She wasn't particularly a friend. Although not a foe. DD1 had no problem finding a group of friends and has been very happy. DD2 has just got into the grammar also - the only girl from her primary (2 older boys have also got in). DD2 is not worried at all.

Thank you all. I think I have made my mind up. The thought of her walking to school on her own and not really knowing anyone is making me teary now nevermind in September!! Wow Xoanon you have a clever bunch there! Thanks again.

DD has and won't be going.

Is in a neighbouring borough and would mean about an hour journey morning and evening whereas the local comprehensive is only 15 mins walk away.

The local comprehensive is non-selective, outstanding, and only marginally short of the Grammar results at GCSE/bacc and on a par at 6th form.

OUt of the 58 in her cohort, I think about 10 girls will go to dd's school. Perhaps 10 will go to v. good mixed comp nearby (we're out of catchment). Perhaps 10 to good boy's comp. Perhaps 10 to another mixed comp (also outstanding, but more mixed results). 10 ish to the mixed faith comp. I think about 5 will go to the grammar we've ruled out.

We're fortunate in that in our borough we don't actually have many grammars. Only 2 superselectives which take from a long distance. So we don't have the same issue with top-slicing, as going further afield to grammars in neighbouring boroughs/counties involves a fair amount of travel and proximity if not a super-duper grammar pass.

I suppose at root it comes down to proximity for us, but also a belief that if a comprehensive can get fantastic results from a mixed ability cohort and compete with the results from a selective grammar, they must be doing something right. The other children going isn't really a consideration, but the idea of dd being able to get up a little later and be home at a reasonably early time in the afternoon, or to stay for homework club and still be home by 5pm is massively appealing.

pooka Why do the exam if you're not going to take up an offer? Seems like a waste of time and stress to me.

Putition. I suspect you are talking about Trafford, in which case you are very lucky because it has "SECONDARY MODERN SCHOOLS" that achieve up to 80% A*- C and proves selective education if managed properly does work. Unlike Kent/Bucks where some high schools have become dumping
grounds. If you choose any of the Trafford grammars you are sending your
Dc to one of the best state schools in the country, having said that the high schools are up with the best schools to.

Yes soul I am in Trafford so realise I'm in a very luck position.

Xaonon - it's about having choices I suppose. The idea with the test dd took was that if she got an exceptionally high mark she would have access to any of the grammars in that borough. Some of which do have much better results than the local comprehensive and also have school transport. As it is she passed (but not top tier) and would get in on proximity to the nearest of that borough's grammars which isn't significantly better than the local comprehensive. But as a fall back, if something catastrophic happened with the proximity/catchment with the local comp then we have a second choice with good results and that we would be happy with, albeit not so keen on travelling.

Wasn't particularly stressful for her or us.

Should say, would be likely to get in on proximity to the grammar. But the way things are, nothing guaranteed! And is good to have a number of options.

We considered it but in the end the achievements of the grammar school outweighed all of our local comprehensives. Its not a longer journey and while she will not go with anyone the cohort from her school tends to get split anyway. Our worry was music as the alternative has excellent music provision. We have come to the conclusion that we can supplement the music provision and there is an orchestra at the grammar school and choirs.

I would go for the grammar school. In fact, that's what I did in similar circumstances many years ago. My brother was at the local comp already and my best friends both didn't get into the grammar so I was nervous about it initially.

Your DD will make new friends at the grammar school - I wouldn't give up on the opportunity.

Dd passed 11 plus for a neighbouring borough from a state primary. There's only one grammar that she would be in catchment for. It isn't far, about 6-7 miles, but the journey will take an hour, and involve two buses. Dd is not streetwise or confident, and does not feel confident about this journey. She will be able to go to a well thought of faith comprehensive (30 minute walk or 10 minute bus journey). Second choice is an innovative comp which has a selective "house" within it, one bus that goes door to door. Grammars are 3rd and 4th choice.

We also have a lovely independent school 5 minutes walk away. It would be lovely if dd gets a scholarship, but we could probably do the fees if we have to. Dd mainly sat the 11 plus to give her experience of exams in preparation for this school.

Results wise, there's not much to choose between the grammar, comprehensive and independent. All schools have cons, it's just a matter of weighing them up for your child. For us:

Independent - fees
Comprehensive - no sixth form, separate sciences not taught by subject specialists
Grammar - journey

Both DD and DS passed for grammars - DS did not take up his place, and DD isn't going to next year either.

It's to do with different pass marks for the same test for different grammars. Had either passed for the most local grammar (mixed) they would probably have gone [well, DS would have done so. DD, seeing her elder borther flying at the comp, was distinctly less sure] but that has by far the highest pass mark.

Both passed for single sex grammars a bus ride away, and with an outstanding comp a walk away, we opted for the closer school [which has results very comparable to the grammars and is mixed]. As we live quite close to the catchment boundary, in both cases we have found the grammars useful as a 'peace of mind' backup moe than anything else.

I would not have made 'friends' a consideration, tbh. Their primary classes were split up between many secondaries, and DS's experience is that his secondary friendship group is mainly composed of 'new' friends rather than old ones.

My DD1 passed the exam and went to the comprehensive . DD2 was borderline grammar and chose not to even reply. I teach in the school they attend and there are quite a few children who could have attended the grammar.

We send students to Oxbridge every year.

My DD was in a similar position - local school is a true comp as we're out of catchment for the grammar, its in the next town.

She was absolutely clear she wanted to go to the grammar after going round both schools during the school day (not just open evening). She wasn't at all influenced by where her friends (primary school and other local friends) were going - she's remained friends with some and has made loads more at the GS.

My brother turned down his place at a grammar when we were kids and went to sec. modern. The head was ringing my dad at work begging him to make my brother go there! Ha. I went to a grammar. My brother got better A levels.

Thank you *Errol'

I have contacted the school to see if I can take her for another visit. The open day obviously had hundreds of people milling around and I think she was intimidated by it all. Just waiting for a call back.

I have also just found out that 2 girls from her Brownies have passed (who don't go to her current school) so am feeling more positive about it all.

One other thing to check is if they have different subjects available at GCSE (and A level), whether either forces/restricts subject choices - and how any such factors fit with what your DD is likely to want to do.

jeees list is exactly why DD2 didn't do the 11+

1)Comps results were and are, despite now being in SM absolutely fine at GCSE and they get DCs in to Oxbridge.

2. journey to Grammar is easily an hour and a half and I'm tied to driving part of it (comp bus leaves from our gate)

3. she didn't want to throw all her eggs in one basket, whith one high maintenance friend or do the long days and give up extra curricular stuff. Also travel miles for any new friends.

Of course her new friends at the comp all do live miles away, but that's a fact of rural life