Tell me the lovely things about having a child in secondary school

[3birthdaybunnies]

Dd1 is only in yr4 but everywhere on MN and in RL seems to be doom and gloom when they leave primary - sent home for the wrong trousers, detentions, loads of homework (1.5hrs/night from local selective - in 11+ area), mega expensive school trips which we can't afford, bullying, etc etc. And that's if you even manage to secure a place in a half decent school less than 2hrs from home which you vaguely don't dislike.

So tell me why I shouldn't find the biggest roll of cotton wool and wrap them in it from the end of yr 6 until A-levels (not actually a serious suggestion but need to find some more positives and of course I am all happy bouncy and excited whenever one of them mentions secondary even if deep down am filled with dread)

Oh yes WorrySigh, that is very much a bonus!!

For what it is worth my very academic ds is just as fine at his comp as he would be at a grammar, a well run school of any type can push and support the children in their charge.

I'm in Scotland so everything is slightly different, we do not apply for different schools the kids just go to the nearest one. Which I must say ours is pretty good. My dd had a wonderful experience gained excellent grades and is now studing chemistry at a very nice university where Kate and William attended. School was always very approachable by phone and the rector was in attendance at parents night,concerts etc. As for bulling, the biggest problem was on the school buses and the school does its best to keep an eye on it.

My 13 and 12yos were happy enough at primary but they are loving secondary so far. They went from a cute village primary (very popular with the parents) to a less desired city comp and they love it. They have a lot more choice of friends than in a small primary. So they have about 4 times as many close friends each. They also like the range of subjects, the specialist teachers, and lots of clubs and after school activities.

They like the library and librarians too.

I think it's just very stimulating for them. They've been lucky, no horrible experiences (yet), nothing's gone particularly wrong. I realise it can be a whole lot worse (and could be yet) but in yr 9 and yr 8, so far it's been very positive all round. My 9yo is desperate to go.

Definitely all those things are a massive bonus WorrySigh

And also opportunities for parental " proudness" are more varied. It's not always the chosen few getting speaking parts in plays etc. Drama and music are likely more developed and also split by age so year 7's don't usually put on the same plays as the 6th form ( though there are whole school things too) and those that aren't " arty" get to play sport for the school, get involved in charity fundraisers etc

And the "geek squad" that does the lighting/powerpoint backdrops for the plays is valued hugely, even though they never stand on stage or say a word.

My DD2 has just started secondary school.

She LOVES it. She has never been happier (well not since nursery!).

Secondary suits her because:

She loves the variety and stimulation of the difference classes. She found being with the same people (teacher and students) at primary all day really oppressive.

She loves the sense of independence - choosing and buying her own lunch with her 'finger', walking there and back on her own, even organising herself making sure she has done her HW

Finding and mixing with new friends - she's a networker in the making

Being back in the same school as her big sis (and her friends).

… and it all makes me very happy as nothing makes me happier than my girls being happy

DD started Y7 in September and was so ready to move from the Primary she'd outgrown (imo - at the end of Y4).

She's flourishing in high school, has joined loads of lunchtime & after school activities/clubs and has finally begun to enjoy sport rather than juts being labelled as the geeky one!

She's already made some good friends to add to the ones that went with her and has become a confident, happy girl

DD1 is in yr 8 so we've completed an entire year at secondary. She's mostly had a great time - homework is nowhere near as bad as expected, she has thrown herself into all sorts of sport and drama activities outside school and friendships seem to have stabilised. I'm in constant awe of her quiet confidence as I remember being the most anxious and awkward 12 yr old myself.

There is a lot less parental expectation at secondary, no dressing up and no cheque writing - I'm not sure if it's just our primary but they only accept payment in envelopes. Secondary school is all internet based, the school email letters and payment is sent electronically for music lessons etc. DD uses her fingerprint to buy snacks or equipment from the school shop and I to up the account periodically.

Looking at her and her friends in the final term of yr 6, they were far too big and cocky to be at primary any longer. It is part of the natural progression of parenting, each stage is as good as the last.

Am honestly starting to wonder if our kids are at the same school as Thea's (except you mention grammar entry, whereas ours is bog-standard comp, but it sounds so similar in attitude).

I was freaking out for a year about my dd leaving the primary we both loved.

But she loves secondary school. Her reasons: it's exciting, teachers are really interesting, so much to do, clubs to join every day - free! Food is nice. Loves the new friends.

It's been a huge relief.

This thread makes me happy!

Sending DS1 off to the local comp, after much debate (and deciding the selective indie is just too stressful/pushy and environment for him) and I really hope it will be like this for him.

The lady on page one with her ASD son, the way you describe your son is very touching.

DH is a teacher and he says he is often amazed by pupils, one who like your son stood up and talked to the class about his SEN and how he wants to help other kids who have the same problems as him. It mad DH well up a bit (big wuss, luckily he hides it well!)

Dd came home with good cat grades - I said well done - she said "I have amazing teachers"

Cant ask for more than that!

DS came and lay on my bed the other day and said he was so happy. I asked why. He said, 'everything in life is so good.'

Then he told me he loves secondary for all the new and exciting subjects, how witty and clever the teachers are, and all the interesting clubs you can join at lunch time.

All I'd noticed was the exhaustion and extra homework. But underneath all the pressure, he's been thriving.

OP, if you're wondering whether you go to church often enough to be in with a chance at a church school, chances are that you don't. Check the criteria of individual schools, but near us, church schools expect almost 100% attendance and only at the main morning service. Afternoon teen services or children's week day praise don't count. I know devout people who are on the church youth teams who didn't get their children in because they attended the 'wrong' service. And people who don't have a shred of faith who got in because they played the game. Nuts, but be warned.

No school run
No helping with homework
Someone who can cook dinner by the time we finish work

My DD had a tough time at the start of secondary and a couple of detentions, but generally she's lovely.

What HSMMaCM said.

Also, kids who can look after themselves after school for a bit without needing childcare, can go shopping on their own etc.

Can do more chores!

I love the fact I am no longer a parent to a child! DS is so rewarding now and I can slack off on all the chivvying that goes with smaller children.

He knew nobody when he started, now has a really solid little friendship group, school is very strict but very supportive.

he is the happiest he has ever been.

This thread has made me so happy! DD will start secondary next year after three years of home education and I've been worrying myself silly. It's great to hear all these positive accounts of your children's experiences.

I think it is important to emphasise all the advantages of secondary when they are in year 6 so they go with a positive attitute and look forward to it.
I mentioned good choice of food in canteen almost like a cafe
Great new subjects they might enjoy like food tech
Huge variety of clubs they can join
Finding like minded people
Being more independent
Being with older siblings/other older children they know that are already there to make them fell secure
Learning new sports.

I never said a word against the primary - it was good anyway - jsut emphasised all the positive things to look forward to.

I have loved watching my daughter becoming much more independent and enjoying doing so. She likes having specialist teachers and the variety of teachers and subjects. She has joined lots of clubs - which are all free, has been on lots of very good value trips, likes the slightly more formal uniform and the fact that she is expected to look smart. She enjoys being in a larger group of children from a more varied background vs a small primary. Going to/from school independently is great and she has responded very well to taking more responsibility for organising her school work and homework. No detentions - but she understands that she would get these if she didn't behave or was late for school. All in all a huge success. I really feel that your child will like it and thrive. The worry about secondary school comes from the parents not the kids so do them a favour and think positively. (BTW my daughter attends her local school which is an academy)