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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Year 8 boy - seriously slapdash

20 replies

standsonshiftingsands · 01/10/2013 20:15

Sorry - this might be long.

13 at Christmas and just starting to worry that he is going to fall far behind. Seems ok at Science and Maths, but his layout of all work is nothing short of appalling. His writing is chronically bad - it can improve if he takes his time but he just dashes things off and thinks anything will do. English is probably his worst - so all subjects which rely on that are poor too.

I'm starting to loose my temper with him - which I know won't help but am starting to really worry. The quality of his work is so bad, or at least it seems to me. No rulers used, writing all over the place - he never thinks about going that extra bit - just enough to get by. I don't think I'm pushy - but it's starting to really upset me. A lot of homework sessions end in shouting matches - his attitude isn't great either.

Please someone - tell me where we are going wrong? Anyone have a son like this?

Should say also have younger son - 11 - who is much easier in academic terms and a younger girl 9 - who needs quite a bit of help.

I work full time and am beginning to think its my fault for not being around enough......

OP posts:

Swanhilda · 01/10/2013 20:20

My son is like this and has been recently diagnosed with dyspraxia. The more difficult they find it, the less interest they have in it.

Original poster

standsonshiftingsands · 01/10/2013 20:26

How did you get a diagnosis? I should say the school haven't said anything.

OP posts:

invicta · 01/10/2013 20:27

I could have written your post!

Swanhilda · 01/10/2013 20:32

I'm at home to help with homework and it hasn't really made any difference, if that's any consolation. I think they do want to do it themselves - we don't interfere much now. But the school needs to try and encourage the content if he finds the presentation difficult, and praise him for the content if it is laid out badly.

Fwiw, ds1 is now beginning to really enjoy making posters and decorating his work more conscientiously. I think he just hated being bad at it, and needed to be judged less rigorously, then his enthusiasm in making things look nice surfaced.

The other thing is that I think teens are notoriously messy and uncoordinated even if they don't have any dyspraxic tendencies - I think neatness really isn't a priority at that age, as they are wrestling with ideas and new concepts. I hope that is the reason! The other thing is that he may need to break concepts down more into realistic chunks, and for that you need to get teachers on board rather than holding yourself personally responsible.

Original poster

standsonshiftingsands · 01/10/2013 21:07

I think I probably do focus on the negative - it's just his presentation is so bad and I'm not convinced examiners will be able to read his writing, though he says this is just me. There are comments about his presentation from teachers but it just doesn't seem to be getting any better.

He is woeful at things like making posters/art, and though it annoys me he makes so little effort, I'm kind of crap at that sort of thing myself.

Perhaps I need to be much more positive about the things he does do right.

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 01/10/2013 21:25

In maths he will lose marks if he doesn't lay out his answers in a neat and logical way. There are marks specifically allocated to Quality of Written Communication at GCSE.

Original poster

standsonshiftingsands · 01/10/2013 22:08

Any ideas how to help him then? Patience and persistence?

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 01/10/2013 22:12

You would hope that if his presentation were that bad (not using a ruler to draw a graph, working out not given or illegible) that the teacher would throw it back at him to redo, that might get him to take more care. But sometimes teachers are spinning too many plates and just grateful to get the damn stuff handed in! Could you have a word with his teachers asking them to do this? Maybe make him spend his lunchtime redoing it so it doesn't affect their marking schedule? If it's them asking, it's one less confrontation for you.

Original poster

standsonshiftingsands · 01/10/2013 22:15

Yes, I've been thinking I should get in touch with the school - it maybe that they are just too busy/distracted to deal with it. I'm actually surprised it hasn't been given back to him. I have started making him do homework again if it isn't done to a reasonable standard. it's bloody hard going though!

OP posts:

calamityjane · 01/10/2013 22:27

I could have written the same about my ds! Just tonight I made him redo some of his homework, he thought it was fine, I thought it was very slap dash, almost like he couldn't care about the presentation as long as he had finished it! Drives me nuts!

He hates art, he obviously takes after me cos I'm crap at it too, can't draw anything, but even if he took abut of pride in the presentation it would help!

Mabelface · 01/10/2013 22:30

Year 7, 8 and most of year 9 was the same with my boys. They're now taking more care in Year 10 as they realise the importance a bit more. I've also told them that they don't actually have to join their letters when writing and printing can make writing more legible.

busymummy3 · 01/10/2013 22:32

Did he start Y7 with decent KS2 SATs? Like Invicta I also could have written your post. Sad thing is My DS started Y7 with high level 5's in all his SATs. Now in Y10 just starting GCSE's predicted all A's - apparently this is because of KS2 SAT scores but I honestly cannot see him achieving this. Cannot read his writing, figures are illegible and answers scrawled out and as for diagrams in Science cannot even begin to describe what they look like !

Swanhilda · 01/10/2013 22:55

Definitely get in touch with school. I assumed they were the ones criticising his presentation and slapdashery. Maybe it isn't as bad as you think

Having had an mildly OCD/v academic brother who at that age was obsessed with getting his homework perfect and getting very upset over it (and as an adult v depressed) as a result, I think there is some evolutionary advantage to just getting things done and out of the way, which is maybe how your son is approaching his work.

Ds1 had a meltdown this evening btw because his desk was such a mess he had lost his Maths textbook (we still haven't found it). The meltdowns always remind me he needs a LOT of encouragement. We ended the evening very happily with him reading aloud to me one of the Lemony Snickets. I want him to do well in school, but I also don't want him to feel we are always harassing him or criticising him. It is a difficult balance.

KiplingBag · 02/10/2013 11:54

My DS is Upper 6th and seriously slapdash.

Of no help to you OP, but I know exactly where you are coming from.

Original poster

standsonshiftingsands · 03/10/2013 19:30

Seeing Head of Year tomorrow - she sent a blanket email to all of his teachers asking for feedback. Only two negatives - Geography and food tech. I can imagine there is trouble in the food class - he is so messy.

He is distraught that we are meeting the HoYear when nobody else is - feels we are picking on him. Tears etc, oh dear.

OP posts:

Original poster

standsonshiftingsands · 04/10/2013 10:32

Head of Year very helpful and reasonable. Sensed she was saying not to make too much of an issue of it - don't create a battleground sort of thing and they will keep an eye on it. Just encourage at home re presentation and amount of time spent on homework.

Feel a bit like a pushy parent now.....

OP posts:

invicta · 04/10/2013 19:23

Supportive, not pushy.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 04/10/2013 20:36

I have gone as far as printing out a list of my expectations regarding presentation of written work. Both DS1 (Y9) and DS2 (Y7) have it displayed above their desks.

It includes things like:
Draw a margin if the paper doesn't already have one.
Write the date at the top.
Write the title and underline it with a ruler.
Give your answers in full sentences so they make sense when you look back at your work.
Draw tables using a ruler. Keep the lines parallel / perpendicular as necessary.
When labelling a diagram, use a ruler for the lines.

All of these things are obvious to me, but they needed to be clarified for my children. If it's any consolation, DS1's work is now legible and usually quite neat, so I think these things often improve with maturity.

TheArticFunky · 04/10/2013 21:37

This post could have been written about my son (yr 5) I suspect dysgraphia and will talk to his teacher about it shortly. I have dyspraxia (not diagnosed but obvious to everyone who comes into contact with me) and it's a worry as I don't want him to end up like me!

noblegiraffe · 04/10/2013 21:45

How is his pencil grip? I've noticed that there seems to be a correlation between terrible handwriting and really odd ways of holding a pen in teenage boys.

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