Dd has started secondary school and hates it.

[Johnny5needsinput]

She's overwhelmed. Classes. Books. Buses. No one she knew in her class.

What the heck do I do? Phoned the school today, they were to ring me back and haven't. They did talk to her, but all she will tell me is "they talked to me and its fine"

She's my only and I want to sort it for her. Without letting her see I'm anxious.

Help

It's a hard place to be, but she will get there. I took DS3 nearly the whole of year 7 to settle in, but it happened in the end.

Are there any clubs at school that she attends? Sometimes it is easier to make friends if there is a common interest.

Do any other year 7s live near you? Can she bump into them on the way to/from school and get chatting that way?

No one lives near - we are rural. She could get the bus in the morning but I drive right past the school on my way to work and she prefers to get a lift.

Clubs start this week so she's trying 2. Hope they work.

It is horrible. For me as well as her lol

I really feel for you. DS really didn't like most of yr7 and had lots of issues throughout the year. I am sure the head of school groaned when he heard my name! . Now having just started yr8 it seems to be all falling into place and he is a lot happier.

I would suggest she gets the bus as she'll get to know different people. She should start soon though before all the friendship groups settle.

Reiterate that she needs to be open to people and talk to them even if she thinks they would not ordinarily be friends. Now is the time.

Be there for her with cuddles and reassure her it will be ok, it nearly always us in the end.

Good luck.

She won't let me cuddle. She is in her room with the door shut and I can hear her crying. Have to head to visit my mum who is unwell and in hospital which I'm sure isn't helping.

It is a massive change. There are so many new things they have to learn and get used to, all at the same time.

I would cut down on out-of-school commitments until half term. When she comes in, try not to quiz her, just give her food and be there if she needs you.

You can give her tools to help with the organisational aspect. A place to store books, sorted by subject. Timetable re-drawn in a way that's easy to visualise (the original my boys are given seems to be in code!) and copies at home & in bag.

A sensible routine that works for her, e.g. packing bag the night before, doing homework the evening it's given.

Fun events to look forward to in the short term (next weekend) and the long term (half term holiday).

I hated Y7, but was much happier in Y8 and even happier after that.

I used to find DS didn't always 'want' a cuddle but if I suggested we watched a tv programme together he'd gradually cuddle in and then half way through the programme he'd end up telling me stuff.
Worth a go.