Does this sound acceptable? Opinions appreciated.

[sicily1921]

Hi, my DS started high school (Yr7)last week and on second day passed on the message to me (verbal) that a teacher had pulled him and some others over and said he did not have the correct uniform. I will not bore you with the details of that but I assure you, having spent the last 7 weeks trying to get hold of uniform he did have all the correct uniform as specified by the school. I made this point politely over the phone but could not speak to teacher in question and was told I would be called back.

I'll cut to the chase, I did not receive any call back despite being told 3 times since last week that I would get one. I have been worried all weekend, DS had been unsettled. In the end I went out and spent another £17 on uniform (what the heck, I've already spent in the region of £300 just on two DCs ) just so my DS wouldn't be pulled over again.

I've got it off my chest this evening with a letter. Does anyone else have communication problems like this?

Reading between the lines, are you sure he wasn't pulled aside for wearing the uniform incorrectly? Shirt not tucked in, top button done up, tie not done correctly? Before you panic, I'd just check this first. As a teacher, I have said to pupils,'er, that's not uinform, correct it, please' and I suppose a Year 7 might interpret this differently (although not yet in 10 years of teaching!) Certainly don't spend any money before checking.

I do think you have to take a deep breath and stand back a bit. Did your ds have any idea what was not acceptable about his uniform? If the teacher got it wrong, well, stuff happens. It is not the end of the world.

Ds's school would have sent him home for an infringement of uniform rules, plus a detention, so just a pulling up doesn't sound that bad!

Just to put it into perspective, ds got a detention on day 2 for not having the two required pencils...

Its year seven, its stressy and hard to start off with. Make sure he gets to bed earlier than usual and has a big breakfast, and really hover over the homework for the this first term. But it is the year they learn to take responsibility for things like getting dressed properly and having the right equipment. they only learn this by being pulled up.

But don't stress about talking to individual teachers about uniform infringments, save that for academic stuff. A quick chat with reception would have been more productive I think.

Good luck to your ds.

sorry I should have said he was told he would get a detention, it was not the way he was wearing the uniform, it was what he was wearing and they specifically told him 'your mum needs to go to such and such a shop', in other words , they were expecting me to spend more money when I was already feeling the pinch after all the correct kitting out.

I suppose what I'm saying is why get a detention for no infringement of rules when DC tells me what some of the kids get up to, swearing, drugs, blimey, what happens to them I wonder??

So was there a mistake in the uniform list or something?

And has he got a detention? Or just a warning?

My ds1 got detention 3 times in the first month of year 7 for not having 7 visible stripes on his tie, that was interesting.

Are you expecting the school to communicate with you every time he does something "wrong?"
Tbh it's been my experience that they only contact you for major issues, not uniform being incorrect etc

I wouldn't let any of my children go to a detention for that, not if the uniform was correct to what you were advised. Sometimes teachers/schools get things wrong. And if they can't even be bothered to call you back as promised then I would feel inclined to tell them where to go. Don't get me wrong, if my children do something wrong, theey WILL go to detention, but if the school or staff are wrong, then they won't!

well feed me, not sure how you would prevent it, as a detention for that kind of thing is same day and requires no permission from you.

OP, could you be more specific about the infringement? You say you bought a pair of shoes that you believe to conform to the code. but the teacher did not agree. Does your ds know what the actual objection was?

But otherwise its a bit meh. I spend a fortune on ds' uniform, but I agreed to that when I decided to put the school down and actually send him there.

Instead of chasing the teacher around the school, talk to reception and get a second opinion.

Ah, rather losing sympathy for you here... neither you nor your ds know what sanctions are used for other pupils and their infringements. Nor should you. Assuming they are not punished is just silly. Saying your ds should not be punished for an infringment because other children do wrong things is plain illogical.

What did you spend the £17 on to make sure he wouldn't get pulled over again? If you did that, you must have some idea what the issue was. Without knowing what they claim was incorrect and what you then did to correct it, it's really hard to decide if their action was unacceptable.