Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to baptise or not?? please advise

44 replies

birchykel · 05/09/2013 18:31

right ok ill try to keep it short.
im c of e but not a practising c of e in fact I don't really believe in any of it. I've always said my girl can decide when shes old enough what religion to follow and id never make her follow one just to get her into a good school. hmmm well looks like I have to eat my words!
im having to choose a secondary school and my step son who is Catholic goes to a Catholic school and I want my daughter to go there as its good. They do take non Catholics but very rarely anyone who has no religion. so im now actually considering getting her baptist.

stressed about it all.
any advice would be great.

OP posts:

jamtoast12 · 05/09/2013 22:10

I'm c of e and dds dad is rc and we chose rc purely as the rc schools are better than c of e (we could have done either way i suppose ). So morally I think so long as you are fully able to support school and church then its fine. I think its odd if not religious at all though?

However I do think its a bit late now as its secondary and she'll have missed a lot of the religious side of things which kids experienced in primary. I'd be inclined to apply as non religious applicant and go from there. I'm not sure how the rules are with step families etc...we did have to show birth certificate though.

caramelwaffle · 05/09/2013 22:16

Apologies. It is Baptism and Holy Communion.

jam makes a really good point about the requirement for at least one parent to be Baptised Catholic (or Baptised other Christian and Confirmed Catholic)

The church wouldn't require your ex partners consent - just your own would.

Perhaps an RCIA course would help you, or answer some questions, however, in your position, with an October 13 deadline, I would just apply without having the Catholic criteria fulfilled.

caramelwaffle · 05/09/2013 22:17

x post

Capitola · 05/09/2013 22:21

OP, that shows how little you know about Catholicism.

No-one is going to call her the devil's child

I don't believe in selective admissions for faith schools, but neither do I believe in 'going through the motions' of converting to become a Catholic unless you believe in it and are prepared to take it seriously.

BadgerB · 06/09/2013 05:50

The catholic school in my area also takes 'other christians'. If you don't want to go down the baptism route start attending the local Baptist Church/chapel - they only baptise adults. Then you could get the minister to confirm you are a regular attendees. You could then apply to the RC school under two admission categories - 'other christian' and 'sibling'.

Vivacia · 06/09/2013 06:37

This is odd, choosing your belief system based on it being the most convenient way to get a child in to a specific school.

JakeBullet · 06/09/2013 06:51

I am Catholic OP and I can assure you right now that your DD is not a "devils child" in my eyes or in the eyes of any other Catholic I know. In fact both the priests who cover our Parish would be horrified if they thought anyone could see an innocent child in such a way.

My DS was only baptised last year at the age of 9 but this was because he expressed a wish to be and wanted to know more about things. He also did his first Holy Communion at the same time.

Will the school definitely refuse your DD if her brother is already there AND they already take non-Catholic children? Our school takes 40% non Catholic and I think the secondary school is the same.

scaevola · 06/09/2013 07:09

OP didn't mention a sibling criteria when she listed them earlier, and not all secondaries have them. Nor is it clear if DD and DSS have their main residence at the same address, so they may not count as siblings for admissions purposes anyhow.

donnie · 06/09/2013 10:12

Why on earth would you want to get your child into a school which in your view, considers her a 'devil's child'?

You are a non practising CofE - correct? In your first post you state that you "don't really believe any of it" and then you later say you "like it and would like to go more often". You can't have it both ways.

Vivacia · 06/09/2013 13:06

Technically not a devil's child, just a "you're not getting in to heaven, it's limbo for you" child.

AuntieStella · 06/09/2013 13:14

Limbo, a mediaeval construct, was officially disavowed by the Vatican in 2007. Unbaptised babies can be saved and enjoy the beatific vision.

Capitola · 06/09/2013 13:43

Blimey -limbo? That hasn't been in the Catholic teaching for aeons.

Vivacia · 06/09/2013 14:14

Whether it's aeons or just five years, I'm glad I was wrong and that they've changed their minds / realised they misunderstood / it was all made up in the first place.

Original poster

birchykel · 06/09/2013 14:46

I can appreciate all of ur opinions on this and both my daughters aren't baptised, christened or anything because my view is it is up to them to decide. I don't want to get my girl baptised just to get into a good school but the way society is it seems if u want ur child to go to a good school then they have to follow a religion. which I think it really wrong.all schools should be good schools.
yes I did say I don't believe in any of it and I don't I don't like some of the things that are preached but what I meant about going more often is that it feels humbling and peaceful and I like that part of it.
I have decided anyway that I am not going to get her baptised I shouldn't go against my beliefs just to get her into this school. siblings are further down the list and that includes step brother's or sisters. my step son is Catholic and his mum did it purely to get him into a decent school cos where they live the schools are terrible. so what do u do? send them to a terrible school or baptise them so they have a chance?
like I said im putting her down for the school and see what happens its more tough cos she has ni religion but I want my girls to follow whatever religion they want to.

OP posts:

Original poster

birchykel · 06/09/2013 14:49

oh and about devils child when she went to my step sons communion the priest was saying that a child not baptised will not go to heaven as they are seen as children from the devil and they need to have the devil washed away. so that's why I said Catholics see her as the devils child

OP posts:

Vivacia · 06/09/2013 14:51

birchykel I think you've made the right decision. If you don't have integrity, what have you got?

JakeBullet · 06/09/2013 18:28

Yeah birch, I think both the priests who cover our Parish would say that there are some dreadful opinions around. They would not say or even think such things. I appreciate there might be some old and appalling priests out there though. Thankfully our two priests are both young and it's not what they believe at all.

Horrible opinions.....no basis for it whatsoever.

LynetteScavo · 06/09/2013 20:45

A school place in a good school,Vivacia.

Vivacia · 06/09/2013 21:55

I did't think there's that much wriggle room in Catholicism Jake, although I've never heard of this "child from the devil" business. Isn't it original sin, ie Catholics believe that children are born sinful?

Flip

1 2