Ds1 starting secondary school....tell me the differences between primary and secondary and the expectations of DS.....

[Ruprekt]

Am new to this.

Ds is fine.

Got all uniform and bag....lunch will be in carrier bag.

Shoelaces and tie practised....

What are the differences please between primary and secondary?

The differences are the levels of independence dc are expected to have (ie having seperate teachers and moving to different rooms without supervision and according to a timetable rather than staying in one room with one teacher), responsibility for own equipment, responsibility for handing in work and sanctions/detentions if it isn't done and ggenerally less 'hand holding' from teachers.

Yes, independence. He will need to navigate himself round the site from quite early on, get to lessons on time and juggle homework demands from several subjects at once.

He will also have more freedom as to what he does at break/lunch and be expected to carry more stuff to and from school!

It'll be fine, don't over think it!

All of a sudden you will have less control with what he is up to. They can sign themselves up to all sorts of startling clubs, buy whatever they like from the canteen. You hardly get any letters home, apart from if your school likes sending nice 'well done for hard work' postcards.

did you not go to school, OP? I don't think the key differences have changed much.

Also in our case getting self to and from school, crossing roads, issues of who to walk with etc. And they make friends you have no idea about, compared to primary where you tend to have a general idea who they are, who their parents are, rough idea of where they live etc.

Thanks for replies....apart from Anthracite.....no need to be sarcastic.

When I went to school (primary) there was no homework, reading diaries or much parental imput....or SATS!

Secondary school was different to the way it is now so was just wondering what ds is in for....

When DD1 started secondary school last year there was a lot of homework.

The secondary school is better at communicating and giving a personal touch that my childrens primary school!

You won't necessarily get to meet their friends
You won't be very likely at all to meet their friends' parents
You won't remember who teachers them for what, as you won't have met any of the teachers and can't put faces to the names
This leads to you being more nervous about contacting the school, as you can't informally 'have a quick word' when you collect them
They won't let you come and watch any sports matches
They make their own decisions about what clubs / teams / music lessons they attend and aren't really influenced by you in the same way
They are expected to do homework every night
You have no influence over their food choices in the canteen
You will worry yourself silly for a week or two, then will wonder what on earth you were worrying about

Lol @ Back!

Sounds great!!

Just tried his uniform on for his dad.......

Self organisation required - books, moving round for lessons, homework, getting self to and fro
Initiative to sign up for things and ask if unsure
Hands off parenting
Mysterious disappearance of uniform

Great thread, thank you xx

"Mysterious disappearance of uniform"

Not keen on the idea of that one! DD may find herself spending her pocket money if so . . .

By the end of year 7 they become obsessed with their phones.

You dont know who their friends are. It makes you worry about who they are hanging out with.

They get better social lives than you, but you are the taxi.

They say "mum, you are so embarrassing" A LOT.

They say they have done their homework when they have not, you need to check.

They become more hygiene conscious. You get to HATE the smell of Lynx.

They start asking sex related questions like "what is an orgasm" and "do girls masturbate as well".

Roll on Year 8 - does it get worse??? I hope not!!

Minesawine........NOOOOO!!,!

He is my baby!! Dont say that!

Or they say there was no homework set, when there was, and it's due in tomorrow, and it's now bedtime.

Or, not so much that there aren't letters home, but your DC vet them first to only pass on the ones that they think you need to know about. So something like parents evening can come as a surprise, because you only found out from someone else, and other committments have to be altered at the last minute for you to attend.

For him (I think you asked in the thread title!) I think that, along with the independence and organisation already mentioned - which is the main difference - he might also notice a vastly greater amount of writing required than in primary school.

Ds has filled three exercise books for science, two for history, two for English: there are pages and pages of writing. It's all good. His speed has massively increased; his spelling (which was adequate) is now fantastic. He know so much more and enjoys being taught by subject specialists.

I think it's exciting seeing them learning so much!

I recognise that LaVolcan - at the Parent's forum at my ds's secondary school, we decided the only way for parents to receive any information about changes to uniform / homework timetable / school day / exams / options / etc., would be to print them on the back of letters about ski trips etc, as those letters somehow do seem to mysteriously make it home

Great info....thanks everyone!

Get on Parentmail or equivalent if the school does it -- much more chance of finding out about meetings! Also check the school website if it's any good.

Get the form tutor or year manager's email address, and preferably use it to pay a compliment or two about how they've helped to settle your DS in. Usually they'll reply just to thank you, and then you (a) know they're human and (b) know it works, so you can grab them that way later in the term if needed.

We get an annual key dates sheet, on the web site if you loose it.

They send out both emails and letters.

They also send out texts saying letters are coming home, so those without email check bags too!

Reports are on line, again notified by text, so it's hard for DCs to loose those too.

DD says there is even a pile of stamps in the office, so the very worst detention avoiders parents can be sent unfraked letters which are harder to spot and hide

All way better than primary, where DD2 left letters in her draw for weeks and school forgot to tell us things until a text 12 hrs before saying "wear spots/red, bring a cake etc,"

Obviously they have to be more independent, plan for homework, remember to takes things in, although even now a year later, I still like to show interest in what she's done for homework and roughly when it's got to be. If you live near school, but aware, you may get phone calls at break times asking you to take something to them there and then!!There will be a lot more homework! She enjoys break times more, as they have a lot more freedom to eat when they want, meet their friends where they want.

My daughter finds the teachers a lot approachable. She's aren't any she doesn't like and she is happy to go and find them and ask, whereas she wouldn't ask in primary school even though the teacher was in front of her.

As someone said, you're intrigued over their new friends. My daughter kept many of hers from primary school, but has met two lovely girls who just enjoy being together, are polite and everything you would wish her to have in a friend, so you don't necessarily need to worry. I thought many of the girls would be in competition over who had the nicest clothes, hairstyles, but there is none of that and no judgements how they each look. If she's gone to the house of a new friend or they've come here, parents have actually spoken to eachother to sort out a convenient time and confirm addresses. My daughter only lives 5/10 mins from the school, so we have a rule that if she's going to be more than 30mins late she has to phone me, sometimes she might go the library to be chatting to a friend, but anything longer I want to know about.

Someone mentioned they can buy whatever they want from the canteen. My daughter takes a lunchbox as that's what most of her main friends do, so no need to go the canteen! Having said that she does take £3 in case she forgets her lunch, there's a problem with it or she wants an extra drink, and so far she's only used it to buy extra bottles of water.

I wouldn't say you get a lot of letters home, but our school produces a monthly newsletter with lots of info in it and you can sign into parent mail for information on homework, house points, positives and negatives awarded.