What consequences would you expect

[TooPissedtoTalk]

DS (Year 9) is on an overseas school trip. The group were visiting a historic site and DS became upset about his grandfather who passed away in January. They moved on to an adjacent site at which point one of the other kids in the group was teasing DS about something which tipped DS over the edge and he punched a stone wall. The result being that he has broken his wrist. DS is now in a cast

This follows on from a couple of years of harassment at the school which has been dealt with, albeit not always to our satisfaction.

How would you expect the teachers to deal with this situation? Would you expect the other child to be sent home? I'm not sure what consequences or punishment can be handed out while they are away, if any.

This was a long awaited trip which has been spoilt. DS won't be able to participate in several of the activities due to the cast.

Forgot to ask: what would you advise your child to do in such a situation. In a confined/closed location where it was impossible to walk away from the person who was teasing. Possibly unable to attract the immediate attention of an adult.

Sorry for the lack of further details but I don't want to out ourselves.

It would really depend on the circs but if your son was capable of losing it to the point that he broke his wrist by smashing it into a wall, then I would be wondering whether your son should have been on the trip.

How many hours were involved where your son was trapped in a confined space with no ability to attract an adult's attention? is there a long term issue between these particular boys? If so then I think that the school has an issue in why they left the boys unsupervised for a long time.

Sorry, it doesn't answer the question but without more info on what it was the other boy was doing, and for how long, it is hard to assess. The fact that your son over reacted and as a result injured himself would have been hard for another y9 to anticipate unless the teasing was something really quite extreme (I'm thinking of social media abuse where there would also be some evidence).

I agree with Ladymuck.
No, I wouldn't expect the other child to be sent home.
I would not be overly sympathetic to my ds if he self inflicted a broken wrist on himself.
If my son had had a couple of years of harassment from a child, then I would certainly have had some conversation with him about what to do if it happened again and what to do if it happened on this trip.

Had you spoken specifically to the staff going on the trip about the issue before they left ?

I disagree with the above comments thst if you son copes with anger by hitting a wall he shouldn't be on the trip! I worked in an er for years and personally lost count of the teenage boys, who were most certainly not teenagers with anger management problems, who managed to break their hands hitting a wall.
if your son is normally well behaved and doesn't have form for this sort of thing I would imagine he hit the wall in a moment of frustration and embarrassment due to others seeing him upset and laughing at him.
obviously if he does this regularly they he may need to see a counsellor.
as for what school will do I would hope if they witnessed the full situation and saw someone embarrassed and upset your son and he acted out of character you would hope that they would be understanding enough to give him a warning but I don't know...

Schools are used to dealing with problems, so I doubt the other boy would be sent home. Both boys seem to have caused problems for the staff, one provoking your son and the fact your son got so angry he broke his wrist meaning that 1/2 members are staff would have to leave the group and take him to hospital.

Things can easily happen even with an adult in the vicinity, but I would want to know the facts myself from the school. Get in touch with them now and tell them you've become aware he was trapped in a confined space with this other boy, you are worried how this happened and why no-one was aware. Ask for their reassurance that both boys will be closely monitored. The school will have phones to contact the staff, so there is no excuse for getting some answers even now.

Just to clarify, I'm not asking for the other child to be sent home, I just wanted to understand what would be likely to happen. By the way, the other child was a girl.

DS is the most non-confrontational child going. On previous ocassions in school he has walked away and gone to the Pastoral Care Manager.

I was given the details of this incident by one of the teachers who called me last night. I have yet to hear DS's side of the story.

The confined space was a tunnel in an archeological dig.

As for whether he should be on the trip: this is and end of KS3 trip where 75% of the year group have gone. There was no reason to think that any incident of this sort would happen. Had they been out in the open, DS would have walked away or at the most shouted at the other child to leave him alone which would have attracted the attention of the teachers.

As I said, I'm still waiting to hear DS's side of the story but I do understand his frustration at not being left alone having suffered 2 years of this nonsense. Yes, he could have responded in a different fashion but that wouldn't make the other kids leave him alone.

I agree with many of the comments posted..I would get in contact with the school immediately and explain the situation as outlined to you by the teacher that contacted you. If the girl in question has caused problems for two years and the school has been aware of this and dealt with issues previously why were they grouped together? I would seek assurances that they will be closely monitored for the rest of the trip. I would also like to know why there were no team leaders and/or teachers within a reasonable distance to raise the alarm in an emergency. As yet you haven't spoken to your son to hear his side of the story but I can understand your worry. That said although there seems to be a history of provocation from the girl she is not to blame for him smashing his hand into a wall and I doubt that any punishment will be handed out .However this has been going on for 2 years it seems that the school will need to be more robust now as all previous attempts to deal with her bullying have clearly been unsuccessful. Other members of the group will have seen and heard the exchange so the school can ask them now how they saw it. Given the history did you discuss the situation with the school when you signed permission forms -if so what assurances were you given? Are they likely to be together next year?

"It would really depend on the circs but if your son was capable of losing it to the point that he broke his wrist by smashing it into a wall, then I would be wondering whether your son should have been on the trip"
How insensitive can you be Ladymuck this boy became upset by the recent loss of his grandfather and then when teased lashed out at a wall. These are teenagers were talking about not robots. Like all of us they at times behave inappropriately lets not turn it into a crime against humanity.
OP I really feel for your DS's the school need to address the long standing issue of this 'nonsense" this kind of thing is damaging for teenagers affecting them both in school and out of it.
IME you need to get onto the school and keep raising your concerns till something constructive is done bout it.

Have now spoken to DS and got his side of the story. Have also spoken to one of the teachers accompanying the trip and the pastoral care manager at the school.

The group were at a significant location which brings on a lot of emotion for some people. DS got upset about his grandfather who passed away in January. When they moved off in to the tunnel DS was standing on his own crying and the girl came over and got in his face. She started to tease him about something unrelated and wouldn't leave him alone. Turns out that this has been going on for 2 years. Unfortunately, has has never mentioned it to us. We knew about other problems but not this specific one. Had the location/timing been different, chances are that he would have walked away and nothing further would have happened.

Had we known about her prior to the trip we would have brought it up with the school and the leaders would have been aware. The girl has been spoken to and claimed that she had no idea how much she was upsetting him.

So, apart from the cast on his hand, the incident is over and they are all getting on with enjoying the trip. The school is aware and will hopefully watch out for any problems.

hope he enjoys the rest of his trip op and his arm doesn't hurt him too much. the girl sounds like a nasty little mare to me goarding someone who is obviously upset. glad school have been.sensible about it

Of course the OP's son should be on the trip. He probably wanted to punch the other boyt in the face, but didn't. Why on earth should be not be on the trip?

Other pupil was a girl. Even more reason that he showed constrait.

There was no reason to think that any incident of this sort would happen. Had they been out in the open, DS would have walked away or at the most shouted at the other child to leave him alone which would have attracted the attention of the teachers.

So his reaction was uncharacteristic and unpredictable, and maybe a result of feeling upset over something beyond the others' experience ? If there is evidence of bullying which directly led to the injury I would expect culprits to be spoken to and perhaps punished on return, if not appropriate at the time, but given the circumstances you describe I'm not sure that blame can really be apportioned as easily. Hopefully the staff will take care of and try to include your ds as far as possible on the remainder of the trip.