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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Yr 7 form groups

15 replies

chickensaladagain · 03/07/2013 22:11

Just found out who is in who's form for starting high school

Dd's primary has 34 children going to the same school, pretty much a 50/50 boy girl split

Do why is dd the only girl from her primary in her new form?

Her friendship group are going to a different school so not separated from her friends, just people she actually knows

4 boys from her school are in her new form

Please reassure me she will be ok -the other girls in her form all seem to be in little groups from their own primary and I know what girls can be like for being cliquey

OP posts:
muttonjeffmum · 03/07/2013 22:34

She will be fine. The teachers will want everyone to be happy and to settle quickly. My DD is the only child from her primary going to her secondary and we have had a few chats about making friends. Encourage her to smile and make conversation. Just have a few simple questions ready - like what's your name (really obvious) and what school did you used to go to. Also, after school clubs are a great way to make friends.

Try to relax. If she thinks you think it is a big deal then it will become a big deal.

Original poster
chickensaladagain · 03/07/2013 23:49

I would actually be more comfortable if she was the only child from her school than her being separated like this

OP posts:
BadRoly · 03/07/2013 23:55

She'll be fine, really she will. At our local secondary they try to place every child in the tutor group with their best friend from primary school (assuming they match up).

A handful don't get this - dd1 was one. She ended up with a girl from the other yr6 class at her primary school (so knew her but not in the sane friendship group) and a couple of boys.

Fortunately she got placed with her best friend from another school, which has led to a little 'trickiness' as they were not used to spending so much time together and are no longer 'best' friends!

However dd1 is very happy and settled. She has some cracking friends and doesn't seem overly bothered that she wasn't with her bf initially. Smile

jellybeans · 03/07/2013 23:56

To be honest DD had this and found it much harder to settle in. All her friends were in groups together. DD was so upset. She made friends but it took months and transition was far harder for her than the ones with the security of primary friends in form. I don't get why they do this. Why not put them all with a friend. Why one on their own yet 5 girls from primary together for example. It happens a lot.

Clary · 04/07/2013 00:42

Speaking as a parent, DD went up to secondary with almost all her junior school classes (about 60 students) including her 3-4 very best friends. She is in form with one but they also have separate teaching groups.

Roll on 1 year and tho she is still good friends with a couple of junior mates, her best friends are certainly other girls - people in her teaching group, someone from a club she does, a couple of people from Guides whom she now knows better... So don't worry OP.

Speaking as a teacher who has been involved in transition this year, setting the forms is a major major job (thank goodness I don't do it). There are usually reasons for who is where; it might be the language requested (at my school) or an issue with two students who mustn't be together, or an effort to keep the groups balanced academically, or distribute students with SEN. It's very hard to please everyone.

Madmog · 04/07/2013 09:39

She may be in a different tutor group from others she knows, but she may well come across the other girls in lessons. They can easily make friends anyway - my daughter got talking to a girl in PE on the first morning, they only have four lessons together but see each other every break time. They even arrange to say hello before registration. There's another girl she's got to know quite well too and she is mentioning others more and more. She still has a couple of really close friends from her old school who often meet her and the other two girls she met.

My daughter's school did a few joint homework projects the first term. In some ways they were a pain trying to organize time to do them outside school, but on the other hand it's a great way to start getting to know someone else if you go back to their house. Most of us Mums let them do their homework and then offered tea and they had a little time as well for fun. I had a group of four back to make a video one time, to be honest the video was rubbish but they had a great time making it.
Luckily other girls she knew before like the new girl as well, so they all keep in touch. By October my daughter had been put in sets for everything.

GrimmaTheNome · 04/07/2013 09:44

From what you say, she's probably better off starting fresh rather than with girls who she knows but wasn't especially friendly with, especially if they are inclined to cliquiness.

TeenAndTween · 04/07/2013 14:30

A number of the girls from DD's primary seemed to undergo a complete personality change in the summer between primary and secondary.
They went from being nice, sensible girls to 'teen attitude, too cool for school' overnight.

A good school will do lots to get children to mix in their tutor groups and in any mixed-tutor classes to give children a chance to mix. As long as your DD tries to be friendly she will find new friends.

When DD started all the girls from their primary used to meet in a certain spot at break so they had some 'known' people to go to. As the term went on others were introduced or joined their own groups.

monikar · 04/07/2013 15:30

In my experience with DD 17, the form groups were used mostly for just registration. The form groups were mixed up for most lessons so it is possible that your DD will not be with just these children for her whole school year.

AChickenCalledKorma · 04/07/2013 18:56

How approachable is the school? Is it worth contacting them to ask why? My daughter was in the same position and I agonised for ages before sending a very polite and carefully-worded email.

Turns out there are two children with the same surname and they'd muddled them up Hmm. She is now in a class with the people she asked to be with.

mumofthemonsters808 · 04/07/2013 19:07

For some strange reason my DD did not want to be in a form with any of her friends. Her reasoning was that this would allow her to make new friends. Woe and behold she is in a form with her friends. Therefore my understanding is that it is like a holiday request, the information is noted but no guarantees. It must be very difficult to accommodate all individual requests.

Original poster
chickensaladagain · 05/07/2013 05:53

They are taught in form groups except for English and maths

Transition day yesterday and all the other girls come from 2 primary schools

She vaguely recognises one from a gym class she did 5 years ago

Her plan is to join lots of after school activities and her form teacher is lovely fingers crossed she will be ok

OP posts:
laineylou · 05/07/2013 06:25

Similar here. Dd put 3 friends down. Bf from school and 2 girls she knows from gym. She only has the gym friends in her tutor group...and they all have their school friends as well. There are 2 other girls ftom her class...neither of whom she would pick in a million years. Her bf and other friends are all together as 2 sets of threes in other groups. She is massively sad about it.Sad

Madmog · 05/07/2013 09:56

chickensaladagain, I'm sure she'll be okay. My daughter started comp last year and I think it was me who are more nervous and uptight, although, I never let on to her. She admitted to being nervous the first morning, but also said she was excited and she was going out to have a good day

minesawine · 07/07/2013 09:26

I had the same issue with my DS in Year 7. He found out he was the only child from his school in the class and went into meltdown.

I contacted the school and they were great. They moved him into a new class with another couple of boys and he is doing just fine.

Strangely, he is now really good friends with the boys from the original class. Confused

Do contact the school if you are worried.

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