low self esteem

[theevilstepmum]

My DD is 13 and I've noticed that she has lost the confidence she once had. Her older sister on the other hand, has gained more self esteem with age. I don't really know how to help her, but I would like to try to build her confidence before I approach a counselor.
Any ideas? Suggestions?

I would advise against a counsellor -unless there is a reason behind the lower confidence or it is so severe it is really affecting her and she is showing very worrying problems?
I think lots of girls that age really struggle, it is a very insecure time, lots of competition among girls and they are quite 'lost' as they aren't children anymore but aren't old enough to be really independent and find their own feet. It is a big in-between stage. I found my 3 DDs all had blips but as they got older they all grew in confidence and became their own person.

All I can recommend is to make sure you are appropriately praising, never putting her down (e.g. in shops don't critisise her choices) and just let her find her way.
Perhaps see if there is something she could do over the summer like a sports/music/(whatever she is into!) camp or week away- I think Camp Beaumont was once recommended by a friend.

Most of all, I'd say don't make a big deal of it. She is probably feeling quite unsure of herself and if you point out your worries directly you are just going to make her feel inadequate.

thanks Happymum22! I think you are right, it is just the big in-between stage and she will find her own person soon.
How do others encourage their children and help them grow up confident, strong, wise ?