AIBU to want my son to take 11 GCSEs?

[mamaliv]

He's currently in year 9 and is having to finalise his GCSE choices. At his school it is normal/expected to have 10 or 11 GCSEs- the normal 7 plus either 3 or 4 electives. DS1 is very very bright and would definitely be able to cope with 11, but has always preferred to coast as much as possible and is insisting he only wants to take 3 electives (so a total of 10). I'm not worried about how this will look to universities etc (he's a bit young for that) but I do think it's not good for him always to take the easy way out! DH is "not going to interfere" which doesn't help...
AIBU?!

Post hoc ergo propter hoc.

I was with you until propter! And I did 11 GCSEs too!

No-

Cum hoc ergo prompter hoc.

Propter- not prompter.

IPad has no O levels!

The Latin tag is actually disputing that just because something came after something else it must have been because of it. :) Everything I know I learned from Jed Bartlet (we certainly didn't cover tags such as that in my Latin O level. It was all Caecilius and Grumio in the culina with the lead piping providing hot water to all the rooms).

I only have 10 O levels and only one of them is a science. Clearly I am shtako for brains. :(

No seeker, I was quoting the west wing. Does nobody here have a cultural hinterland?

Inability to recognize west wing quotes will definitely hinder your career where I work. Oh yes. Much more so than whether or not you have triple or double science at GCSE.

bloody hell, I'm more confused than ever.

My 11 GCSEs are a case in point for quantity over quality, as they include Drama, Commerce and sociology. Would have been better to have done fewer but have two MFLS, which I wasn't allowed to do.

On the plus side, I did at one point know what a Bill of Lading was or is.

We didn't lose Texas because I didn't wear a big hat

Ah, but nit, at least you know about hubris and nemesis. And what skandaroons are. And all the words to fear no more. And how to translate lacrimae rerum.

So you win. :)

Cerberus est in via.

And I have a nodding acquaintance with Hakluyt.

Go figure. ;)

Hackloooy the best people call him.

We also all know that the nine tailors isn't about sewing.

I was interested when I read that. I was brought up-yes I come from that sort of family- to call him something like Hack-light. AF ( aka she wo is never wrong) shook my confidence- so I now neve call him anything. Mind you, I practically never did anyway...........

yes you are being unreasonable, it's his life and there is no compelling reason to intervene. 5 or 6 GCSEs isn't likely to be well regarded but 10 is enough.

Encourage him to consider other options than medicine but if he ultimately decides to try for that it's useful to start on voluntary work early. He isn't likely to find anything in a medical setting yet but he may be able to be a trolley dolly at 16 and possibly get good contacts for other work experience. He can do something teaching younger children and that would probably be more use for medicine than an 11th GCSE. He may as well do Duke of Edinburgh and can start on bronze soon. That has benefits for independence and organisation.

There are more ways to avoid him coasting than an extra GCSE.

Not only do I know about the nine taylors, I can ring Kent Trble Bob!

alreadytaken the same advice doesn't hold good for all students from all schools everywhere. Also, OP has already said that her DS is in the middle of Bronze and is intending to do Gold.

OP I'd tend to tell him that he'll be given a tough ride at any interviews, appropriate to his school, and that if he's serious about Medicine, he really needs to get some wind under his sails starting now. The fact that he wants to do Medicine is useful; I'd milk it myself. As I've said, I don't think the additional GCSE is hugely material - though RS is quite useful for Medicine - but the lemming like/ easy option approach is.

I wouldn't necessarily follow all the obvious tick boxes for work experience either, coming from where he does. It's arguable that getting a paid job in his holidays (it doesn't have to be doctor or hospital related at all), working alongside other people, will do more good in his position than anything else. I think don't be too obvious with work experience either: don't aim high/ no consultants!

I think you're both getting to the stage when you have to accept that your parenting of him as a child is coming to an end. You've done your best to instil good values in him (and you wanting him to have a strong work ethic seems to be the point here). Now I think you have to accept it'll be him making decisions about all of the important things in his life. In two years' time he could be 16, marrying and in a household of his own.

It's possibly slightly remiss to give up on sensible advice at the age of 14. DS2 (who is DC5) was a playboy right through from Y9 to Y11; it took a steady nerve to get him through. Nothing wrong with a bit of decent, if irritable (and irritating), parental advice.

"Sensible advice" is different to making the decision for him though.

(I'm not too sure what you mean by 'playboy').

Yellow certainly 14 is still a child and he still needs his parents advice and support and guidance of varying levels depending on the situation. You do have to tread carefully with teens though, rather than just lay down the law (when it is about things like this) or they are liable to do the opposite of what you want in order to exert their independence :)

He does not need his mum to decide how many or which extra, elective GCSEs above and beyond the "normal" number he takes. The OP has said she agrees with that, so that's OK

I seek - and am given - sensible parental advice even now, and I'm in my 40s!

A child of 14 is still a child. They do not have the perspective to see the impact all their decisions might have. A parent - in an entirely age-appropriate way - can and should be supplying this context and perspective. I agree that it may be a shift from 'telling' to 'advising', but surely that is a shift begun much younger and varies every day depending on the context. I tell my 12 year old that he must restrict his computing time. I advise him wear suncream. He independently completes his homework and decides when to do it.

In the same way, parents can tell a child what GCSEs they are likely to need for the next stage in their education. They can advise on how to decide on the best ones, in conjunction with the school. The child can independently decide whether or not to work at each subject (and will take the consequences)

If anyone can work out the optimum balence of suggesting/advising/nagging/telling/enforcing etc in relation to Teens then please let me know .

Russian you seem to be trying quite hard to be offensive. I cannot see which bit of my comment can possibly be classified as witless orthodoxy. The lack of science and engineering graduates globally is well researched, quantified and detailed in reports such as the recent US jobs report and the MGI report on global employment. The better preparation for a science career of doing three GCSEs is obvious, as you have agreed yourself.

You can choose to differ on whether an academically strong child who will not follow a science career (how do you know this at 14? What percentage of people on this thread are doing the same job they started doing at 22 or whatever?) is better off with 2 or 3 science GCSEs, but you really cannot label my comment that we should be encouraging our able children to equip themselves for the jobs which are most in demand - or at least create that option - as "witless orthodoxy." If you'd labelled a comment like "you must have three sciences to get into Cambridge" then I'd get it.

And if they are doing 10 or so GCSEs - which i think we have all concurred is the minimum likely for these very able children - they can still in addition do a Mfl, 2 English, maths, history, geography and a other subject such as another Mfl, latin, music, art, dt or whatever floats their boat. So we have in no way encouraged them to be too narrow.

I wonder why this topic has become quite so, um, strongly felt?