Stumbled upon this and it made me smile a bit.
Someone I know plucked her DSs from an Infants in the NE of Cambs area to send them to the Perse. They're now both in the upper. This women is frankly incensed that the schools she walked away from offer French to primary schoolers, or (gasp) Latin at secondary! That my DC's state secondary has 25 per class in many lessons, hers have 22 per class at £12.5k a year. She is also pretty mad the school/s have gone co-ed as she thought she was buying into decades of single-sex educational excellence. She is madder still that someone she knows well's DS has just been offered a place in the Upper from KCS as she considers the PU to be by far and away a school that only accepts academic excellence.... how could a non-Perse prep DC possibly get a place?! (Yet the child in question has been mentioned in the past as being 'outstandingly bright'...
- I thought that would please her, actually! But it could be that the PU demands a higher entry level than the DC from its own Prep who automatically get a place even if the 'promise' they showed at 7 hasn't been fulfilled?) Yet I know she looked at The Leys (££) as an alternative for one of hers, recently, as she's rather cross the P happily took her DS on yet told her he may not pass a tranche of GCEs or IGCSEs, which is after all what the school says it does on the tin- I think someone else mentioned something similar, up-thread? She also is beginning to feel that too much of their bags of homework is being set for the sake of setting it rather than it being directly beneficial, but, as with everything else I've put here, I don't have DCs at the PU so can only report what she 'admits' to me!
Sorry to apprently be, well, sniggering a bit at what amounts to her snobbery! But it's my opinion that the PU is a good school ticking all the facilities/smallish class sizes/good if not outstanding exam results/ A reputation (though one that may be a little over-blown these days??) boxes; I'm still not entirely sure the education her DSs are getting is worth the early grave her DH is driving himself into, paying for it, but that of course is always a personal decision.
Finally- again, purely from what I have been told, I really am not sure about the 'anxious' thing. The person of whom I spoke does talk of there being quite a macho thread running through the school. She has mentioned some bullying behaviour of the stronger towards the 'geekier', but only in an occasional aside, not as an ongoing issue so it may well have been a one-off or something you might find in any school.
Good luck with a difficult and expensive decision.