The Trinity-Whitgift thread of 2013 continued

[Somelikeithott]

Hi all as I posted on previous thread, I realised we had hit the 1000 mark, do felt obliged to open a new one. Hope everyone finds this thread easily

Well burnt you do have to admit, this is conflict at its best, it is the best development you could've asked for your T&W real life soap after a promising first sequence...unless you are writing this whole screenplay yourself...
Now, that would genius!

burnt - if you don't return, can we still use your and croydonmum's donkeys (if they don't all end up in school dinners?)

Burnt, act 1, scene 2 over now... You can't keep us in suspense forever... We need your directorial expertise.

Enter donkey stage left!

Croydonmumtods - you are amazing.

Burnt - if you are a member of staff, I just realised that I told you about getting a brazilian on this forum. Oh my word, I seriously hope you didn't interview us!!!

Shaz - please help me here - which member of staff is it?

not sure why you are sticking up for Burnt but not Kylep where aspersions have been cast as well?

Lol. Because BoD has PMed me and Kylep hasn't! I've absolutely no idea or comments to make about Kylep. No reason to to the them at face value so far as I can see but, TBH, I haven't been dissecting their comments. However, I did have "information" about BoD that is not on the open forum.

Anyway, I only came back to comment on your remark about BoD that "his DS had the perfect ride through the Whitgift admissions process". This is laughable when looked at alongside the neurotic* and fretting PMs I had :) His ride through the W admissions process is no more or less perfect that my DS2s was (although we turned down a scholarship) and I sure as hell am not a staff member.

Hope you enjoy passing this snippet on to your fellow car park chatters :)

• and I mean this in a friendly and understanding manner :o

This thread has been completely spoiled by gossip, rumour, troll hunting and conspiracy theorists. Which is why I am hiding it.

blimey, 'may contain nuts' has nothing on this thread . there is no school gate, as divamum said 'no one gets out of their car". plus its too muddy in the car park ATM plus if I turned up at the w gate my son would die of embarrassment. Shazoom/cinders stop it now, before you get your knickers in a twist.

soup - how am I any different to you on this thread? You went through this in a prior year and so did I. You offered opinions of your current school for your DS, so did I. Not sure why people and indeed you got wound up by me giving my opinions of Life at Whitgift.

Shazoom - please drop it now? You've made your point. We all get it. It's not perfect. Please write a letter to the HM. Or whatever. It's enough now.

I am asking really nicely - like Soup said - this thread has already been spoiled. Please go and start another thread for gripes of current parents. As you once started secondary school with rose-tinted glasses and became disillusioned, I would like to be afforded the same priviledge.

sorry, privilege.

SHAZ...I am saddened and wound up, like many others maybe, because it was so nice to log on to a thread for a bit of light relief and humour, at the end of what has been a very difficult process for all of us...but since the rather late postings from yourself and Cinders ..that seems to have now been spoiled.

So maybe we should all just move on...take note of the advice and opinions given...and use this information constructively to help our Ds's thrive in which ever school we feel is the best fit for them!

Good luck to everyone...hope it all goes well..!

urgh. I never actually get angry, but this is enough. Shaz and Cinder - yes, we accepted advice as "new parents needing information" and going in "with eyes wide open". It has gone beyond that.
If you have gripes with the school, please raise it with the relevant members of staff. We all fully understand it is not Nirvana. We did not expect it to be, but hopefully we can get over it.
This is an embarassment to all the wonderfully supportive T parents out there - can we please get you back in here?

thank you, cheammum.

Wow.... I usually just read threads but after yesterday's posts had to write one of my own. I'm sure many others read threads on mumsnet in order to obtain information so cannot understand why posters who have given an opinion about W (their opinion) are now being asked to stop. (Censorship if you ask me) Yes they must not make it personal as in the case of accusing Burntoutdad but other than that why should they stop.
I for one welcome more current parents of schools giving information about what a particular school is like. Will people be so upset had it been a state school? I wonder. Or is it because the info is coming out too late after decisions/choices have been made.

There are many others who will be looking to send their DC to these schools who will appreciate hearing what the schools are like and no I am not a current parent.

Lets all calm down, at the end of the day if you really believe that W is the school for your DS a few opinions of others should not change your mind or cause any anxiety, think back to why you chose W for your DS in the first place.

Well, there we are. A million thanks to all the W/T potential parents who started on this journey with me. And to Soupy as well, natch

It's a great shame this thread went south. It was enormously supportive, kind and fun - the best sort of Mumsnet thread.

I don't know or care who is or isn't 'genuine'. I'm not suggesting that newer posters didn't have some good points to make, though I'm not convinced some posts were made with the best of intentions but really... meh. Whatever.

Am leaving this thread now. The very best of luck to all the lovely people I've 'met' here. You've made a fab choice for your son (W or T!) and I hope you all have fantastic experiences with your chosen school. And thanks again for all the support you gave me on my rather longer journey!

As for the poster who talked about censorship... seriously? It's very clear from the way this thread has gone that anyone is free to post whatever they like, isn't it? Perhaps you need to join a debating club. I hear they're popular at W and T

The thread got hijacked after the event - if they felt this would help to give current parent info then in a constructive way they could've done so BEFORE everyone made their decisions. To do so afterwards was bordering on malicious! There have been many threads started about W (and T) and they've never felt the need to offer this info before - therefore a drop in the ocean amongst the hundreds of W parents - take with a huge dose of salt. Casting aspersions about people who'd been posting in angst over the process was also more than a little unfair (def angst as had PMs from a few including BoD!). No school is perfect and you will all have had issues in the ones from which you come and will without doubt have some at your future schools but what great future schools you've picked. move on and leave the naysayers behind!

Been following this thread for a while and thought as its a OPEN FORUM i am entitled to give my opinion as current W parent

Having gone thorough this process last year as a 10+ parent , i have to admit i too was sucked into the school and the (peacocks and capes) !!!!
Ds has had a lot of issues which are still being resolved, the boys arent pushed academically if hes good at sport then the right school but in my opinion its not good enough. at £17k a year i expect more
I have to commend cinders, shaz and kylep for the input given, guys you got sucked up into open evening and speeches. W has let in more than usually as the entrance pass mark has been dropped. YOU made the choice just like us and stop this bullying towards other members who are only giving you information on a OPEN FORUM

Information - yes.
But rumour, gossip, suspicion? And AFTER we've all made our decisions?

I am really saddened that current W parents with grievances did not share them earlier. We may have made the same decisions, but we would have known what questions to ask at interview, or what to take into account. Or we might even have chosen another school.

Now it's too late.

Well, thank you to all the wonderful and supportive people who have shared their information, angst and humour on here. Good luck to all.

wow you guys are an amazing bunch, talk about love/hate relationship. I think you thread veterans are being a bit unfair to Cinder55 and Shazoom, they are merely expressing their opinion. Having a dig at BOD is unceccasry but in fairness Shazoom only did this after a thread veteran had a dig at Kylep. All a bit silly really.

We did sit for W&T this year and also sat for Dulwich and KCS. KCS we did not even get an interview but offered places at all the others. We chose Dulwich, for alot of the reasons outlined. Not sure why all the fuss about not knowing, the issues with Whitgift are and have been well known for years, too big, class sizes, too much emphasis on SPort, not academic enough, flexible pass marks etc etc. If you had asked around or spoken to your DS current Headmaster he would have told you pretty much all of this. He told us Whitgift is very different to Trinity and Dulwich (told us no hope for KCS!) and that he felt DS would do better at Dulwich or Trinity. We live in SW16 so travel not an issue to any of them. We sat them all to have back ups and would have been happy to send DS there if he had not any of the others as state option was not great for us, but it was our back up.

GIven the amount of effort you have put into this process, surely you have all reasearched the schools beyond going to Open Days and know what the real day to day issues are of each school are?

I think that the thread veterans have got caught up in the emotions of admissions, and the comings months will realise that reality of secondary schooling is not easy and paying for it raises the emotions and expectations. I for one am under no illusion that there will be issues for DS at Dulwich and there will be areas that the school does not meet my expectations and hopefully some areas where it will surpass them.

I wish you all the best of luck

I'll add my thoughts here. Wow, you don't look at a thread for a few days and you never know what interesting exchanges emerge! We're sending DS1 to W at 11+ and still happy to do so after all the comments (many interesting and honest.) There is a lot of buyer's remorse with any decision. I was just talking with a current W parent (two DS's) who has nothing to hide and sons are very similar to mine. There still isn't another school that offers a better combination of being demanding on sports and academics while having the type of support my DS needs. For everyone else's DS that might not be true so just a personal opinion. I've heard almost identical comments to pinelodge on Dulwich, KCS, St Paul's (you name it and I've probably heard it) which just proves that not every school is right for everyone. To those starting to regret their decisions I'd say stop beating yourselves up since no matter which program you chose there will be unhappy current parents and DSs (and some very happy ones.) I imagine in two years I'll be on the happy side but the proof will be if in two years you see me on this thread again doing the same with DS2. Forking out another 16k+ does tend to focus the mind...

Can I suggest W parents go to the school web site, have a look at leavers destinations and subject they are going to study at uni, majority of the leavers off to a Russell Group uni ok so they are
not all going to Oxbridge but not all Eton boys are off to Oxbridge either.

Actually it is more worrying as to where all the other boys not listed end up?! Unless post cull W ends up with 130 odd boys?

I guess those boys not listed would likely be in the same position which ever school they went

Any interest in having a Whitgift thread for current parents? Not that I wouldn't be curious about T parents too but perhaps a thread specifcally for sharing news and thoughts about W could be a huge help. Of course for all I know it already exists. My DS will be easily identified as the boy with the black hole locker that swallows all books and homework if any are curious! I better sign off in order to actually do some work...

Amazingly the veterans are silent !!! They were quick to have a dig at me at a few others