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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

Is it normal to give a DS detention for something a parent hasn't done?

80 replies

Ilisten2theradio · 04/12/2012 18:13

DS had a 15 minute detention today because I hadn't signed last weeks homework planner.

I had seen it and forgotten to sign it. BUT I think it is unfair to give him a detention for something that I didn't do.

WWYD? Or WDY think?

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 04/12/2012 18:16

I think he should have forged it!! The onus is on the child to get the parent to do it - my two bring planner & pen to me & it takes a second!!!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 04/12/2012 18:16

Does seem a bit mean but I guess the onus was on him to make sure you signed. It's his responsibility to get it signed, not yours.

TaggieCrimbleBlack · 04/12/2012 18:18

Maybe. Child's responsibility to wave it at you on the right day I suppose And I wouldn't dream of signing a whole term at a time oh no

DD has a detention for not hitting a ball in vollyball but ducking out of the way.

She can't do it though because she has maths detention the same day.

She won't do either because detentions are in a hall she can't go in (AS)

I have given up.

GrimmaTheNome · 04/12/2012 18:19

Yup. He's been given the detention for something he didn't do, ie make sure you signed the ruddy thing.

I bet you're in trouble though.

LynetteScavo · 04/12/2012 18:21

So why didn't he just put in a quick squiggle like every other high school pupil does when they know the planner is going to be looked at?

I now sign a couple of weeks a head

BellaVita · 04/12/2012 18:22

Yep. Would happen at my sons school.

waitingtobeamummy · 04/12/2012 18:25

I get this with my form every week. It is incredibly frustrating that they don't get it signed, even though every single Friday we check them. It is his responsibility to get it done, I give behaviour points if they don't but if they were a pesistent offender it would be a detention.

pastoralacademia · 04/12/2012 19:23

I now sign a couple of weeks a head In my school some tutors give out detentions if the parents do what you do. Some tutors give out detentions even if all the work has been done but the planner is not signed! Silly but some are just not fllexible.

DeWe · 04/12/2012 19:47

We had that at school when I was there. What I did was, if I remembered then my mum signed it. It I forgot, then my "dad" signed it. His was easier to forge.

Some people solved it by forging every week so the signature looked the same.

KirstyJC · 04/12/2012 19:53

I used to sign mine every week with my Mum's name - it was the same style handwriting as mine. Mum didn't even know it existed but did a great job covering up when it was mentioned to her at parents' evening.

treas · 04/12/2012 20:22

Does seem unfair - would be even worse if the teacher even forgot to sign, as that would never happen, would it

cansu · 04/12/2012 20:24

If you have a problem with this then you should perhaps be suggesting that the signature of parents is unnecessary. I am sure the teacher has better things to do than supervise detentions because it is unsigned. She is trying to keep on top of an admin job the school SMT have decided is important in the name of communication with parents. If there was no consequence then most children would not bother getting it signed. Personally I would be grateful that she is willing to make an effort to check and follow up.

botandhothered · 04/12/2012 20:51

My friend, Veronica, was great at forging signatures. Do these children have no imagination these days?

NaturallyGullible · 04/12/2012 21:02

Did you conscientiously refuse to sign it? If so, you have to man up and explain to the school.

If your DS did not approach you with his diary and a pen and a glass of wine at the same time, then he should take the 15 minutes on the chin.

abbierhodes · 04/12/2012 21:07

I'm a form teacher. I only give a detention for this after several warnings. It is the child's job to get it signed. If a child said to me that the parent refused to sign it, then I'd ring the parent to check.

Blu · 04/12/2012 21:12

DS also got some form of sanction because his wasn't signed. I think from the school's pov the onus is on him to get me to sign it.

He did attempt forgery but the 6th Form Prefect tasked with checking planners spotted it was different to the two signatures which have featured before. I said DS should have said he was living with his aunt during parental illness....

Apparantly canny pupils run 2 planners - one with all the 'bad' notes home, and one which gets signed.

mercibucket · 04/12/2012 21:19

You need to plan from the start of the year. Get him to sign it every week then the signatures always look the same

mercibucket · 04/12/2012 21:19

You need to plan from the start of the year. Get him to sign it every week then the signatures always look the same

abbierhodes · 04/12/2012 21:25

Blu, that 2 planner idea is fantastic! Sometimes I have to admire their ingenuity. I will be teaching my kids my signature when they hit secondary age. Which is hypocritical as a teacher, I know.

Original poster

Ilisten2theradio · 04/12/2012 22:23

Well DS has AS so is not good at lying so wouldn't say I refused.
He also has organisational problems and they are known to school - so I think it was wrong of them from that point of view.
What I was trying to gauge however was if this is a common occurance if there are no SN's and if the teacher just needs a bit of a nudge re this, or if it is an unusual thing to do anyway.

OP posts:

Arisbottle · 04/12/2012 22:23

Surely you look at your child's planner as you supervise, discuss it check homework .

The point of signing the planner is to show that you know what they have been doing over the past week .

I tippex out planners signed weeks in advance . I also authorise detentions for persistently failing to get a planner signed .

Original poster

Ilisten2theradio · 04/12/2012 22:25

Arisbottle - yes I do look at it as DS has SN's we need to look at it and jog it along. I forgot to sign though - and that is surely my mistake and not DS's so why should he be punished.

OP posts:

Arisbottle · 04/12/2012 22:30

If it is the first time it is not signed he should not be punished however if this is regularly happening I agree with the detention. Unless his SN are extreme it is his responsibility

Original poster

Ilisten2theradio · 04/12/2012 22:37

I didn't come here to discuss his SN's I came to see what is the norm.

FWIW his statement does say he has organizational problems, and he needs help to ensure that he is recording his homework correctly amongst other things to do with organisation. The school is not helping with this so the contents that I am supposed to be signing are not necessarily correct anyway.

OP posts:

Blu · 04/12/2012 22:43

It's normal in DS's school , Yr 7, to get a 'yellow card' for planner not being signed, first offence.

Detentions left, right and centre. Detention this week for not having printed out homework, although the homework had beeen meticulously and imaginitively completed and e mailed to the teacher as instructed. Our printer just doesn't print, half the time.

OP - I suspect that the school would see it as his reposnsiblility to make sure that you have signed it and not forgotten to sign it.

If you are not happy, discuss it with his tutor.

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