So, In Year 7 there was too much homework, now he seems to be winging it in Yr 8.

[swanthingafteranother]

Ds1 aged 11 is a happy enthusiastic sort of fellow. He is at a high performing comprehensive in London. We were given a pep talk at the beginning of the year as in There is no such thing as no homework, there is always something your child could be getting on with...Supervise like crazy etc etc.

However, despite a bit of a weekend pile-up quite often he seems to be finishing his homework within 30 mins on weeknights. He is getting B's not A's, but he is perfectly happy to achieve what he is achieving. There are no issues with doing the work, just that it is not really taking him as long as it could..He does extra-curricular activities most evenings, not especially sociable at home (ie: has no local friends visiting).

I'm not sure whether I should just go with this hanging around business...or start scheduling his free time a bit more if he doesn't have any obvious homework. He also plays two instruments, and sings in choir at school, so has quite a lot of time taken up at weekend with stuff to do with that...

I suppose what I am asking is...could it be a good thing to just let him get bored, and find his own interests/possibly meet up with some friends, in the absence of loads of formal homework, or should I be forcing him to up his game, learn more vocab, go over his Maths, insist on more practice, take him swimming.

I know what it feels like to be nagged and hasselled; I don't want to spoil what may be necessary downtime after school, he loves to chat, and just relax in his room with a book sports pages But I am worried he is just a bit of a procrastinator and needs to be given more prodding to achieve get down to things. I just hate the idea of being a ranting pushy mum.

I started this thread after reading the Oxbridge material thread. I am beginning to wonder if I am underambitious...

Not that the OP who started that thread was ranting or pushy, I hasten to add, must more that I am just beginning to wonder whether I haven't understood the "rules of the game". This was sparked off by meeting another mum in the supermarket who told me her child was in top sets for everything, and got straight A's for everything, and she had told him, no after school activities if his grades started to slip . Maybe she had the right motivational angle which had inspired her child to do his absolute best.

Ooook!
That hits home (guilty as well). Here the serious pep talk didn't happen till Year 12, though (and DS1 has taken it to heart to the point that he claims he has no time to come and wash up because 'there's no such thing as no homework'. Right. Pull the other one, matey).

TBH after the time we had of it with DS1, I was happy for DS2 to bumble along doing what homework needed to be done for year 8, and upping his game for yr 9 when they were establishing sets for maths and science.

I think if he's doing his homework & getting Bs in year 8 (isn't he 12 if he's in yr 8?). He won't be falling behind so will be able to raise his game later if needs be. He's also doing purposeful extra-curricular stuff, I wouldn't worry too much.

You do sort of need to keep tabs on whether the school expects too little of your child (at our school, anyway). We found DS1 was predicted Cs in maths and graphics, for instance, and that the school was therefore quite happy for him to turn in C grade work. We (ahem) pushed him harder, and he managed an A in one and A* in the other.

Yes, you are right Notquite of course, he is 12 not 13 till April either...

lance I love the bumbling along, I think we are family of bumblers in some respect. I suppose I have this deep seated fear of "pushing" ds or my other children (ds2 has ASD and he is 10), dunno why I assume they will have this innate self righting capacity.

Anyway, I think the answer is to just set a few more boundaries on the practice and homework time, and try and use the "free time" constructively, cooking conversation exercise rather than him just being at a loose end. I do get the feeling he is a bit bored at home,and waiting for something, anything to happen, that is why he seems to love all these extra-curricular things, possibly because he likes being kept busy. He certainly seems to really enjoy school.