Detentions - big deal or not?

[NoSoggyBottoms]

Curious on your views.

My son is in Y7 so we're pretty new to the world of detentions, as we didn't have them in primary.

Of course, the issue of detention will vary according to type (there are break, lunch and after school detentions at DS school) and how often a child may be getting them.

My opinion - a detention once in a while I can live with, but anymore regular (regardless of length of detention, e.g. break, lunch, after school) is worrying.

What's your view/opinion?

Well my DCs school has six levels of detention depending on the crime. Repeated level 1's do get you an automatic level 2. Level 1 is held by the teacher, and is any time up to 1/2 hour at Break or Lunch. Level 2 is 1/2 hour with senior staff. Level 3 is 60 minutes either two lunch or an after school, held by senior staff, level 4 is 90 minutes after school. Level 5 is an internal exclusion, level 6 is an external exclusion. From level 3 up parents are phoned, level 1 and 2 are written in the planner which parents are supposed to inspect weekly.
My kids have never got above level 2; and if they did they might get a loss of privileges; but generally I feel as the school escalates for severity or repetition they are punished enough there. Bullying and fighting are level 5, and homophobic/racist comments are level 6 BTW.

BackForGood You're right, you've highlighted my concern with my DS. He is already involved in a social skills group and we've spoken to the SENCo about his behaviour.

There is, however, more to than just a lack of social skills. It's the case of his experience at his first primary school which I mentioned earlier on. If he has gone through several years (sadly) of a school which not only allowed him to play rather than work, but rewarded unacceptable behaviour, I think there is part of him trying to see what expectations his new school has. He knows that what he did was unacceptable, he certainly wouldn't do it at home, so why at school?

When speaking to him about it, he said he didn't think the school would contact us...again, I think this is him "finding out" (in the worst way possible!) what happens at his school if he breaks the rules. Well, he's found out now!

He's got mixed messages from schools, which I don't think helps when he does generally have a lack of social skills. Please understand that in no way am I excusing or condoning my sons behaviour. I'm just trying to understand it myself, so I can help him understand how to react and repond appropriately in the future. Like I said, he wouldn't do it at home. Saying that, Dad and I know that he does behave differently when staying at grandparents...but there level of expectation of behaviour is different to ours (again, he gets mixed messages, as his Nanny would say "oh, that's just him, that's just how he reacts".....sorry Nanny, not good enough for Dad and I!)

Mummytime - Just to respond to what you said earlier, there are several places for him to go at break and lunch times. Homework clubs, film club, library to name a few. He normally goes to a place at lunch times where he can play chess or go on the computers.

There haven't been any other incidents of pushing or phyiscally harming any other children (good grief, that's heart breaking for me to write about my son )...thank goodness, so hopefully the detention and impact it had at home is deterrent enough.

I'm really hanging on a hope that he some odd way, he's trying to find his feet and work out what's right and wrong. If he gets detentions for what I would call less significant things, I'm not going to sweat it. But harming children and not doing any work in lessons (through choice) is not on.

Thanks everyone for all your responses

It is hard. Just make sure than both prongs of attack on his behaviour are there, so he has incentives as well as punishments. Also do raise concerns if he isn't coping. Finally my dyslexic son can't always express why he does things, and certainly doesn't always say more than he has to to some teachers (we had a parents meeting recently with his form tutor, and it was far less useful than one with the Head of Sixth form would have been, as the latter has earnt my sons respect so he would have opened up more).

But yes your son needs to not hurt other children, and to learn that fast before size and hormones cause real problems (I am not blaming you at all). In my experience secondary school is much less forgiving over not working.

Surely it depends on the school.

One local secondary has a "no chances" policy. So you can get a detention for forgetting/incomplete homework, not having the laptop charged to 100% first thing in the morning (96% for a very new year 7 who was very stressed about it still gets a detention), wrong uniform (like wrong type of trousers), being late for a lesson, ... It doesn't matter that the child is working really hard all the time, if they break one of these it is an automatic detention. Even the best hardworking students expect to get 2-3 a year.

Another one has a "one chance" policy. This means if you're generally hard working and organised then you probably won't get one over the year. This means for the odd time you've forgotten something, you get a mark by your name, which means if you forget in that subject again you'll get one.