Do kids at Public schools get to have a life?

[lljkk]

Yesterday we went to Open Day at a top private secondary school (best GCSE results in the county)
It was cozy (too sheltered for my liking, really) with nice quality but still quite small/limited sports facilities. I could see that DD would thrive on the intellectual stimulation, that the school churns out calm wonderfully confident (& glam) girls, but DD's both quite brainy & quite sporty & their sport facilities weren't brilliant for her.

What put me off most was the long day (8 lessons over 7.5 hours), plus she'd be commuting about 2 hours /day. I imagine few secondary pupils wouldn't have at least 1 hour total commute/day. Plus almost an hour/day of homework in year 7. It just seemed like a school experience very focused on high achievement in pure academics, in the Oxbridge mode, I imagine. To the exclusion of anything they didn't focus on.

They mentioned specifically that the girls have "leisure reading" targets: basically they are made to read because otherwise with the heavy study load they won't make time to read.

I know other people local to us who have mentioned how their children had to drop (?all) afterschool & evening activities after starting at this & similar schools. When I voice consternation, saying how much DD would hate that, the other parents look at me like I'm mad (obviously in their minds top quality academics trumps scouts, gymnastics & any other interests).

I was thinking what else do DC do with their time, and some of it is pure drivel (eg, 5 hours of minecraft/week). But it brings pleasure to their lives, it's social (DS has own server), teaches them programming, has its own value, seems balanced to have that in one's life.

It just seemed to me that the public school model was that the school provided ALL education. All other experiences were inferior & to be discouraged if they might interfere.

Is that normal, part of the accepted package at public schools?

I think I know what you mean. We visited a top performing girls' school and loathed it. No sense that the real measure of a school that was so highly selective should not just getting the top grades (ie they ought to be a given) but also giving the girls a chance to experiment and have fun - everything was seen in terms of excellence and CV points. The unceasing pressure to be excellent at even extracurricular 'fun' stuff was just awful. I know there are top performing schools that really do try and give their children a proper and rounded education and some fun as well - it's a pity there's no way to tell from league tables which ones do and which ones don't.

I agree with everyone else-it depends on your lifestyle and the school. Dd needs to be in childcare from 8am-6pm, as I work ft. At school she does a club every night, gets her homework done in the hour between clubs finishing and me picking her up, and is home and in bed for 8pm. It would be no different if she was at a state school, but would be at a childminders instead of doing clubs, and she much prefers the clubs as practically all of her friends also go. We do nothing school-related at the weekends other than a quick check that homework is done on a Sunday night, and it works really well. The children all seem to work hard and play hard, and it puts my mind at rest as I'm not spending the weekends trying to tire her out mentally.

You pays your money and you takes your choice - we all make different decisions and it seems that no one can understand the circumstances that leads someone to make a different one!

We're not talking about public schools here - the question seems to be about independent day schools which are not the same.

As for having no life, my DCs all went/go to the kind of school we're talking about - leaving at 7.15 and returning at 5.15 then with 2 or more hours homework each evening. But no Saturday school.

And they did/ do have a life, as do their friends and classmates. For example, my DD goes to music college on a Saturday; until 6th form she danced competitively; she has class mates in national sports squads - rowing, diving, gym and athletics. They do have a life, at national squad level or recreational level - some of them getting to the pool/ice rink at 6am to train each day or not getting back til 10 every night. And still getting all A stars at GCSE and then going on to the university of their choice.

It's not done without great dedication and massive talent but they do have a life - its just a different one from one that others might choose.

The day is 9-4.30? That's not much longer than a state school day (eg 8.50-4.10)?

I think this being a private school is a red herring. You might like to put a shout out for rural families, who are inevitably faced with journeys of an hour or mor (especially if there is hanging round until the bus leaves, and then trundling round the villages on the way back). This does mean the tradition o homework on the bus.

But teens coming in at 6ish still have plenty of hours before bedtime, an thi could be for activities, homework, family time or screen time and incessant texting. Children starting secondary school often do drop their after-primary-school activities. It's not a length of school day issue; it's a growing into a teen issue.

Leisure reading targets are less common. Did you ask why the school has these? I wish someone had thought to place one on my dyslexic DC in secondary school (might nick this idea for next parents evening).

I commuted as a kid and no way would I do it as an adult, and certainly wouldn't let my dd commute to school.
Also left me socially isolated as a kid which was awful.

But for some, snog, the commuting is the most social part of the day - the friends on the train/ coach have always been a big bonus for kids. And those who live walking distance of school and get home at 4.15 feel strangely left out!

Agree commute can be social highpoint. I would think differently if we lived a ten minute walk away (am 99% sure that no child ever walks to this school, though, lol).

Local state schools run 8:20-3pm, even with commuting to another town still fewer hours tied up with school with our state options. It's not just commute, it's the high homework load the private suggests, too, presuming it really is 51 min/night. Maybe DD would find it much less.

Commute for her would = minibus, so not great for revision (especially with social distractions).

Don't think we can swing it financially, not from yr7, anyway. DD would Love to go to the private! She doesn't know better; I'm the one who sees how she pushes herself too hard already.

Interested in this, as OH currently looking at a prep for DD for yr3 but it would involved a commute via a boat! Was thinking that this would be social, and not half as bad as a bus as you would be able to walk around, have a drink, go to the loo, stretch your legs, look at the sea. But at age 7?!

Oh my word, captain! That is a different story! Sounds like fun to me.... But lots Of days when he can't go because of bad weather, perhaps?

My DC have long school days at independent school. In fact my DD's day is longer than DS's super selective public school.

However, I can assure you that they and all their friends have lives. They all seem to sing/dance/act/play high level sports . They also spend absurd amounts of time on their phones, watching re runs of Friends and surfing the t'internet for the perfect pair of shoes.

Sorry TougAsOldBoots, I am foreign & "public school" means something completely different in my country, too. I don't properly understand half of what MNers say about education.

dd1 is at an academic and very sporty private school, she gets home at approx 6.15 every day after training (she does different sports every day). approx an hours prep. I didn't want to drive her around after school to loads of activities, am happy for her to do everything 'in house' The 2 hour commute would put me off plus the lack of sports. dd1 does netball, hockey, swimming, xc, fencing, biathlon training and football every week!