I think I'm about to do something silly, if I am stop me?

[KatyMac]

DD does a lot of out of school activity, she is intending a career outside the normal GCSE/A level/Uni that is planned for by most of her contemporaries.

She is year 10 and started her GCSEs last year

Last year we had problems with homework as it often clustered or was expected in over night.

I was thinking about sending a letter to her teachers explaining she wasn't being awkward or contrary but that sometimes it got a bit complicated and if they let me know there is a big piece of work on I'll move/cancel her other stuff so she can get it done.

It is a stupid idea isn't it?

"Her alternative studies are, and will remain her priority"

This is the bit that needs to come out.

The thing is I do want her to keep her options open - she might at 16 or 18 or 34 suddenly decide she wants to do Naval Architecture (like I did at 19) or Business/Systems (what I finally finished my degree in this year) or Molecular Biology (like my brother) but atm she wants to follow in her dad's footsteps and become a dance teacher, ideally with a stint in musical theatre before she 'settles down'

But 14 GCSEs, tonnes of dance classes and a need to eat & sleep is not really going to work

I don't really understand your comment to SecretSquirrels. Is your DD doing 14 GCSEs?

I think you should be a bit careful, tbh. I have read lots of your threads, KatyMac, and as a Performing Arts teacher, I do have sympathy. I know how hard your DD will be working on her dance- it is a punishing schedule. However? I think there is a huge danger in allowing a child to do anything other than their best with academic stuff- she WILL need the best grades possible, as the performing arts is such a difficult profession. I used to teach a girl who sang (she became a pro opera singer) and was at conservatoire all day Saturdays plus after school at least twice a week. She and her mother spoke to the school when there was a big piece of coursework, but the parents were always very supportive of the school. We worked together to ensure that the student in question got her grades AND achieved her ambition. As a teacher, I would rather have a conversation, with DD and with you (but with her first) in which she was honest about her commitments and open to flexible arrangements. Tbh, the whole "her alternative studies will always be top priority" is rather OTT and could be interpreted as you not supporting her academic studies. If you want to write, then I would go with a more succinct but also more precise letter- none of the "alternative studies" stuff- call it dancing. Be very clear about her commitments and her ambitions, explain that you are absolutely committed to ensuring that DD achieves her best at school, but there will be times when she will need extra time for coursework. You will alert individual teachers when you will need them to allow extra time.

I'm a Science teacher, and while I am sympathetic of outside commitments (my son has just started year 7, and I am facing nightly homework as a parent for the first time), I would be a bit frustrated if my homework were not completed in time, because it forms part of my assessment and therefore informs my planning for the class, and I have a limited window of opportunity for marking. I don't give overnight homeworks though. That is poor practice.

I agree with EvilTwins that you need to be clear about what she does, and I think your communication with the teachers would probably be better referring to specific pieces of work where the deadline cannot be met.

Are some of the GCSEs BTECs or other equivalents?

We had so much next day stuff last year & it was hard - she didn't miss a single bit; but this year? there will be lots more and will she complete it all by 'next day' well it depends on how much there is on that night.

The school official says no 'next day' but often it isn't 'homework', it's just completing something or reading something

She has completed 2 BTecs last year and they would like her to do 12 GCSEs now; I have bargained them down to 10 (but they don't like it) but tbh I'd really rather 8 solid GCSEs then the stress involved in 12 - but that isn't going to happen unless I take her out of school.

I hope my initial version of the letter takes that tone with the teachers; that GCSEs are important but we might need to juggle things if something important has to be in on a date (eg last year she cut some of her classes the week before her spanish oral & coursework so she could revise more - but only because that teacher & I had set up an email conversation and we were warned).

TBH I'm almost at the stage where we jack it all in, which we choose I have no idea; home schooling fills me with terror but at least we can pace it to get the 5 she has to have. And dancing, well in my life it was always evenings & weekends; just my luck I married a man for whom it was day-to-day work. I'd much rather she was a teacher (she needs 5 good GCSEs including Science - not 14/12/10 average ones) or perhaps she can follow me into Early Years and do teaching evenings & weekends.

This year we are doing the second year of Geography & Spanish the whole of English and the whole of music plus first year of double science & maths

I know we can do Spanish & Geography, I feel Music will be tricky. No idea about English or Maths (as we did it differently in my day) and I'm guessing Science will be more work than BTec Science was last year

"WE" are doing?? Be careful, op, SHE is doing them and SHE needs to sort them out herself (with your support.) Don't be one of these parents who says "we" about uni applications and then the student drops out because they never really wanted the course themselves, but got clouded by their parents' ambitions.

That amount of GCSEs is bloody ridiculous. Who NEEDS 14???? Even 10 is a lot considering she already has the BTECs under her belt. And if she was doing a 'normal' amount of GSCEs you probably wouldn't even have this current concern!

A revised letter (which I'm still not certain I'm going to send; I find writing it down & talking on here helps to clarify my thinking and what I actually want - and help DD)

My daughter, XX, is in your class this year. Although taking GCSEs she is considering an alternative career path in dance which needs considerable time for studying out side of school. She is recognised by the school as Gifted & Talent in this area.

Her extensive schedule means that she sometimes finds it difficult to complete homework especially if it is set over night. She has some time set throughout the week to work on coursework and homework; but there are some evenings she will be unable to study. I believe that during last year she was able to complete her homework to schedule but I am conscious of increasing demands as she continues to study for her GCSEs.

Sometimes the work may mount up due to the distribution during the term. It would be helpful to us if you can advise us in advance of substantial homework or coursework which needs to be done at home. This way we will be able to help her manage her time, helping her to succeed. We may also need to ask for flexibility if there is a cluster of such work from a number of subjects.

If you have any concerns regarding this I am happy to discuss it further on .

I like it, but think you need to add an 'aside' in the paragraph about having time set 'aside' during the week for homework.

Overnight homework was a problem at my sons school until a group of children approached the school council. They brought it up at the next meeting and the staff agreed to ban the practice and insisted all staff give at least 48 hours for any piece of work. It has never been a problem since. Could she also approach it in this way?

I think that letter is good, and I'd I received one like it at school, I would be more than happy to help.

now I have an idea what is borderline reasonable I can decide how to sort it.