Not being able to afford 'the extras' at private- good reason not to apply?

[Margerykemp]

I heard a friend say that she had considered private for her DD. No ethical objections or anything (lives in 'bad' catchment, school in question is high performing ie suitable for her academic DD).

But what surprised me was that even though she said they could have afforded the fees they didn't apply because they couldn't afford 'the extras' like ski trips.

I wouldn't have believed this if i hadn't heard it myself. I know private school parents and ski trips etc are certainly not compulsory.

do other parents reject private schools for this reason?

i kind of feel sorry for their DD having missed out on a good opportunity for such a spurious reason!

...and you have to pay for exam entry at private schools, where it is free at state schools (unless a retake).

I have to say, I would never want to waste money on private education (my dh and I did very well academically at our comps.) I would rather have the money to spend on doing nice things with my children and more time (because less of a need to work hard).

I remember the tragedy of getting to university and discovering students whose parents had never had a holiday, made many sacrifices and been poor as church mice so that their children could end up in the same place as those of us whose education had been entirely free. (I even got all my music lessons free!) One friend hadn't even realised that in state schools people sat GCSEs!

You do have a point ther HappyGardening - even with 2 girls there is a marked difference in the grocery bill in holidays compared to term time. With 2 girls its the shocking amount of loo roll we get through when they are home that shocks me!! .

OMG - really??/ Someone didnt realise state schools sate GCSE's???

That is just plain ignorance!! Some people (all walks of life) live through such a narrow perspective.

Boys like loo roll too I now buy it in industrial quantities along with those 100's of boxes of those really revolting chocolate orange shreddies maybe there's a connection!

Depends on the school. One where only a minority of people go on expensive trips, secondhand uniform is the norm / cool, etc - then not a valid reason to decide against it.

A nasty school where everyone does the trips, uniform is ludicrously overpriced and there is no secondhand option - well, I would hesitate to go for that anyway.

At one (renowned) school which we are considering for DS, I asked a random member of staff what proportion of pupils went on trips (they run lots) - she instantly got why I was asking, and assured me that any given trip will have

Oh and to all the "imagine how your DC will feel..." brigade - DBs and I went through private schools on an assortment of scholarships (when scholarships still had real £ value) knowing full well that there was no way we were going on ski trips and the like. I never felt deprived or disadvantaged in the slightest and cannot recall anyone being teased or any exclusion based on family wealth or lack of it.

This is so dependent on the school. Some are dreadful for it... Everything costs extra - lunch, learning support, academic trips, specialist coaching, 59 types of uniform, breathing...

Others have more things included in fees and sensible policies.

As for overseas trips, it's never a whole year group going and so even if your DC know you can't afford it, not everyone else does iyswim.

State schools, too, seem to make large demands on parents incomes.

All the secondary schools in our town seem to be having a competition regarding who choses the most complex uniform. It used to be sweatshirts and trousers/skirts but each school has implemented a uniform change and its now blazers (the latest school having chosen pin stripes) and flashy rugby/PE kits.

Typical secondary school uniform costs over £200. I do think state schools need to be a bit careful as to how they spend other people's money!

It's also puzzling in a age where what people wear at work is getting more relaxed.

Toilet roll could be a whole discussion on its own....I think we get through at least a roll a day. On holiday we ran out in the night and had to raid the local public toilets for a roll!

I think that if their finances are that close to the line, it would be a big risk. I would be more worried about increases in school fees over the course of the [7] years than extras though - fees could easily increase by more than a reasonable allowance for extras.

I agree that state schools also have expensive trips.

My experience, being someone who can only just afford the school fees, is that private schools will dump extras on you often with little notice and just assume all parents can afford them. (e.g. extracurricular activities, trips). These are presented as "optional" but all the kids do them so if you opt out you are basically alienating your child. Wish I'd known the true cost of the extras before making the decision to pay for school. If DD was in state edu I could afford "extras" because I wouldn't be paying through the nose just for school.