At 15 do you nudge them towards a career choice or leave them for a bit...

[Joshpoodlehamster]

Child has secured some work experience (one week) in an advertising agency during October via a friend of a friend rather than because it's what they know they want to do. However, a preliminary visit last week to get some forms signed was a very positive experience.

It made me think. Should I be doing more? Other than accompanying child to school career's evening last year and explaining frequently how important it is to get a broad grounding before specialising in A levels, I haven't really got involved in their career path. Child anticipates going to university at same time as peers but I haven't actively encouraged or discouraged this. At what stage should I become more hands on?

My father pushed my two sisters and l to do sciences because it was what he liked and none of us has forgiven his interference.

Child is naturally good at languages and maths and is reasonably positive and happy about school / life and is not stressing.

Well I pushed mine to start thinking about career choices at about 14 or so.

Even if they change their mind later, it's useful to realise that there might be a reason for working hard and doing well at school, rather than just doing enough to keep the teachers off your back.

Plus some careers require certain choices at GCSE, so it's useful to have in mind what you're aiming for.

What I haven't done is tell them what careers to consider.

I agree with encouraging them to think about career choices. As much as anything I think this helps give relevance to what they are doing now. My DD1 is academic and knows where she is headed. DS is less academic but understands that effort now will impact on choices in the not too distant future.

Tricky one!

I'm sort of on the fence. My kids are academically able so I think should go to uni and study further but unless its a vocational choice I don't think the subject hugely matters....It isn't the be all and end all these days.

I did a vocational degree, DH did metallurgy but ended up teaching- he could have done that with any degree pretty much.

Eldest is studying history/ancient history and doesn't know what/where it will take her.

DS is thinking medicine.

Other than the huge (for my kids) arts/sciences divide at AS choices they haven't really " closed any paths" off career wise.

I encourage mine to try new things, and if they commit to something, to do it as well as they can, but not towards a career path as such. DD is at uni, DS is doing A levels.
There are too many people in my family who have changed career a number of times before finding something they really loved.

Like Fallen we have encouraged our DC to try new things too without being too pushy. We have though stressed on more than one occasion the importance of them doing THEIR best in exams as having good grades gives them more options in the future.
IMO any chances of work experience should be encouraged as they are often difficult to come by and add a useful line to a CV.

encourage them to staret thinking.
getting a careers book out of the library for them to have a look at, is a good start.
I didnt find any career service much help for mine.
Ask them questions such as what do you think about uni,college etc.
No pressure, just advising them to start thinking about it.

My father's insistence on us all doing sciences 25 years ago scarred us - so I have deliberately had little involvement in subject choice for my children.

Eldest child is on track with chosen GCSEs and I agreed happily with all the choices and said so encouragingly but didn't make an issue.

I am pretty much doing all of what you say One and Gnome but I think what I'm really asking is ... is that enough?

I think being supportive and enlightening is all that's required for now.

I have memories of it being a real time of angst when my sisters and I were 15 and in a bid not to have a domineering parent calling the shots I don't want to go completely in the other direction and appear too remote...

I think as long as you show an interest in what they are choosing and why, then you won't come across as remote or uninterested. Having conversations about possible future paths, the importance of broad subject choices, just making it obvious that you care that they are happy and doing well, will all let them know that you are interested but not pushy. That's very different from the kind of parent who just doesn't give a damn about their education - I'm sure your child can tell the difference.

How hands on you become and when depends a lot on your child - if he/she wants you to look at college/university websites, or to talk over possible options, then you get involved. Or if they seem to be picking something for bad reasons - like because their friend will be doing X or going to Y. But if they seem to be heading in a reasonable direction and have some idea the kind of thing they want, then you accompany them on their journey, you don't try to steer for them.

I like the phrase of 'support and enlghten'. At 15, I think that it helps if you can encourage them to think about what sort of people they are (they should play along: teenagers love being self-absorbed!)

As I type, I can hear the DC watching Big Bang Theory. Sheldon may have a brain the size of a planet but he would be hopeless in an advertising agency. Discuss with your DC why Sheldon would be awful, but they might be good. Discuss whether they want to spend their life behnd a desk or outdoors. Do they want to be part of a team or are they better on their own? Are they introverted or extraverted? A do-er or a thinker? etc etc etc

You can't (or, rather, shouldn't) provide answers but you can help them ask the right questions.

I suppose I would be starting the conversations about what next. That looking ahead might well help with what is happening now.

It is an iterative process but ultimately it is one they have to carry out for themselves (as you of course know!). IMO the parent's job is to point out oportunities eg for your DC pointing out that a facility for languages could lead to study and work abroad - this may not be obvious to them.

The problem for DCs is that the only job they normally see done is teaching which can mean that they dont intially consider other career choices.

As an example my DD said that she could never work in an office as it would be too dull and controlling an environment. I took her into work for some work experience and she also did some other work experience in a different office. She has now realised that an office is just a place to work and that being in an office doesnt dictate the work.

Also,a lot of young people,even at 15,do not realise how many,and how high, the qualification entry level is, in many jobs.

Hi OP. I was very good at Maths and languages. I did well at O levels, did Maths, French and German at A level and did well, did a degree in French and German and got a 2:1. We were told (late 80s and early 90s) that languages were essential, and would ensure a good career in the future.

There are very few career options for me. I would strongly discourage your children from doing just maths and languages, unless there is a specific career that fits in with those subjects that they want to follow.

The only options I have are to get an office job where they want fluent French and German, and earn £15000, or go into teaching. I have just qualified in teaching in FE colleges. I can teach ESOL, French or German. Unfortunately there are no vacancies in my area at the moment.

I loved learning languages, but I don't think it was a wise career move. I have pushed my children (rightly or wrongly) towards the sciences, although they do languages as well, because I think they will have more choices that way when they are older.

I suggested to DS1 that he take a particular subject for AS (he had eliminated most subjects on the basis that they were hard work). He went on to take it at A2/undergraduate/postgraduate and now has taken it up as a career. He wouldn't have had a clue had I not suggested the subject.

It's worth having a general chat - but don't force the issue. My youngest dd (14) started worrying that everyone else knew what they wanted to do/be and she didn't. She's picked the options she's interested in in addition to the core subjects, and we do chat about it now and again.
You really cannot predict what will happen in the future. DD1 (23)left university with an excellent degree and it's taken 2 years to get a permanent job. DS (20) left school with A levels, decided he'd be 'drinking you money away' at university - not having a clue what course to do - and walked straight into a job. He's loaded, has no debts and whilst working in an office has decided it's not for him and is looking to enter the police force.

Something I think our DCs need to know is that most professional careers demand post graduate qualification. A degree is the start not the end. I am an accountant and there is now no concept of 'qualified by experience' there is qualified and unqualified.

I didnt push any of my kids down one route or another.I left the whole world open to them career wise.They have all gone into completely different sectors,none of which are what me or my DH does or did,and they all love what they are doing.
We spent a long time together,one way or another,discussing it all, and looking at options.One had more or less decidied at 15,one didnt decide till 18, amd the others were somwwhere in between.

I can see that I will need different stategies for my children on this...and to be far more aware than I am now on HE opportunities and vocational careers...

A watching brief might work for DC1 but I may need to be more hands on for DC2.

All these responses are full of insight, so thank you each and every one.

I have quietly been encouraging my youngsters to nurture social activities for their CVs to sit along side their school qualifications and for me this doesn't 'over step' the imaginary boundary.

BTW

I did a BA in Bus Admin at Uni and on graduation I equalled my Dad's then salary (despite my Dad having a private education and being one of the fortunate 5% with a university place in the early 1950s). Now as grown ups, my sisters and I see that our Dad has made a lifetime of spectacularly bad career and house moves and never taken anyone's advice but his own.

My 14 and 16 year old know exactly what they want to do. Both are in the creative arts - that's more scary for a parent than a child not knowing!

Josh, I think you can have a lot of really quite in depth discussions about qualifications, where they might lead and career choices without ever even getting close to the dictat you suffered.

There is a huge difference between discussing options and saying 'you must do X because I did'

Good luck with it all, it sounds like you want to do the right thing!