Please tell me your positive experiences of the local, very average comp.

[AnotherTeacherMum]

So I have 2 dc, they are bright (not MN standard genius:)) and are well behaved (I give them no choice!! but they are nice kids IMO!).

They go to a primary which on paper is v average but I think is amazing and has kids from a VERY mixed catchment- from million pound houses to v deprived council estates. The local secondary has a simliar catchment They are very switched on re bullying, good parent/teacher relationships and I mainly love it because it is a nice, happy places for my kids to be.

I have always been a big believer that well supported kids from happy homes will do well wherever. I am training as a primary teacher and feel this even more strongly after my experiences at schools.

So why am I letting all the school gate angst make me feel my kids will not be absolutely fine at our local, pretty average (on paper, but who knows in practice?) comprehensive?

My main reservation is that my ds, who is the oldest, is very quiet and bookish- likes music, art, not really into football etc- I'm more worried about bullying, peer pressure etc than academics. Also, our primary is on the border for 4 local authorities which means the kids do tend to go off to lots of different secondaries, so only a couple from their school will go to any one high school.

Going for anything other than the local comprehensive would mean hours travelling and/ or bankrupting ourselves with school fees which I feel is really damaging to family life- my parents did all that so we could go private and I always felt I would have done just as well and been happier at the local school. Am I being naive?

Please reassure me that I'm being ridiculous and to follow my instincts and go with the local comprehensive school.

I will be vigilant- I know there can be great variation between schools.

I also have to agree about bullying at private schools- I went to a state primary then private secondary on the old assisted places scheme. I was one of the 3 kids and my Mum and Dad killed themselves financially to pay for it.

I was bullied horribly about my naff clothes, scruffy house, the fact we never went on holiday and that I could never join in the social scene of my peers, because I couldn't afford to do the sorts of things they did in their free time. Home life was also a bit rubbish, Dad working 2 jobs, when he was home tired and stressed, mum stressed and upset all the time about family finances and tired from working full time.

Racingheart- my parents also thought I thrived because I was so racked with guilt that they were spending so much that they could not afford that I could never tell them anything negative about the school. I think teenagers from all social backgrounds can be crap to each other really- its always going to be a tough age.

However, one thing I was never bullied for was being clever and working hard.

I suppose you can't win unless you are rich enough to pay for private AND have a good family life. But then I would hate my kids to be the arrogant type that some (NOT ALL of course) of the these type kids were at my school.

The more I post here, the more clear my decision is becoming actually!

nlondondad- many congrats to your daughter!

The local comp is what you make it.

Before DD1 started a Y9 mum said "It's fine as long as you keep an eye on them"

They have 14000 pupils, many from very small primaries. Their pastoral care is brilliant. Academically they need a gentle nudge to ensure DCs reach their full potential.

Turns out we both have had to remind them to put our DDs up a maths set.

I have to gently prod the SN dept. about DD1 being dyslexic (they are lovely, but we have had 3 SENCOs and my bright keep her nose clean DD will never be top of their list).

I should add we have Grammars in the county. So they assume pushiest parents are elsewhere. This is not entirely true

I'm just bouncing/ adding myself to this thread which is a few months old. How are all the year 7s at 'average' comps getting on after their first term?

I'm trying to decide whether to bust a gut to go private, or send the children to the local (average) comp. (5 A-C GCSEs in 50-60% range, and about middle of the county league table, ofsted good, but generally avoided by the yummy mummies).