changing tutor groups

[threeofthebest]

My DD1 is due to start secondary school in September.
There are 5 girls going from her school to the school we have chosen, but she is the only onefrom her class, and non of her good friends are going.
We were sent home a sheet to put any preferences to be with friends etc, but at the time DD1 didn't really know any of the other girls well enough to be worried about being with them, so left it blank.
We then had a meeting at the school at the end of June, when they were told their tutor groups. We were told that they were not set in stone and if anyone was really unhappy they would do their upmost to help. DD1 was with two of the other girls from her school.
Since then, one of the girls in particular has been really lovely to my daughter, as she is obviously aware that DD1 is the only one from 'the other class'. She has made a real effort to get to know my daughter, said she is welcome to walk to school with the others in Sept and she even invited her to her birthday sleep over (only 3 girls went, including the other girl in the tutor group).

We got a confirmation letter yesterday, and for some reason, DD1 is now not in a tutor group with this girl (or any others from her school). Although she origionally wasn't bothered, she is now really upset. DD1 has gone from being really excited and looking forward to their induction day next week, to not wanting to go.
Should I phone the school or just leave it and hope she gets used to it? I am sure she will make new friends when she is there, but she is quite shy, and I think it would help her to just have a familiar face initially.
Advice??

I would mention it to the school they are usually really undersatnding and try to make the transition as smooth as possible. However she will make friends quickly with other people and the induction day will at least let her meet some people. My DD was the only child from her school to go to our school and kids have a way of quickly bonding. Talk to the school.

I agree, mention it to the school but I am sure she will be fine. It is really natural to be nervous.

I would definitely bring it up and soon - I don't think it's really on to tell them one thing and then change their minds. My sister was separated from all her friends in the transition to secondary school, my parents brought it up and the school said she would make new friends quickly -she didn't, and it really affected her over the next few years. It is a huge transition and anything that can make it easier is a good thing!

Yes, bring it up with the school. She will have been moved as another parent spoke to them about their childs needs. Therefore it's not unreasonable for you to talk to them too!

Thank for replies.
I think I will phone the school tomorrow. I am n ot usually one to fuss, but I really don't want her worrying for 6 weeks over the holidays, and they seem to be making a big deal of 'a smooth transition', so they should be understanding about it.

Well I phoned the school today and they were very accomodating and have moved her back, so problem solved, and I have a happy 11 year old again!
x

Well done, glad it's worked out!

That is fantastic. Really cheered me up. I have the same problem - see my thread below.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/secondary/1508249-DS-had-Year-7-induction-day-and-is-really-upset

I am going to call the school tomorrow and hope my DS gets to be with a friend. Fingers crossed

Oh dear,

Hope it works out for your DS minesawine, it is such a big step for them, and the last thing you want is for him to be worrying over the summer. Stand your ground and I'm sure they will help.
I have my fingers crossed for you x

I spoke to the Head of Year and she has agreed he can change class, he can even choose which friend's class to go into. The school has been fantastic. They also offered to send a counsellor to his primary school to chat to him and reassure him. He is sooooooooooooooo happy

Really glad it worked out minesawine, when they are happy, we are happy!, a load off both of our minds! x