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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

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Original poster

go on, tell me how you actually get children to do revision ...

53 replies

Clumsymum · 30/05/2012 18:17

DS is in year 7, he's facing proper summer exams for the first time after half term.

He is bright, very high in his year, very academically able, but unfortunately he is very aware of it. (if it's relevant at all, we pay for the academic ability with immature emotional development, still get major toddler-style tantrums sometimes)

Over the last week, homework has basically stated "revision" in almost every subject. DS classes this as 'haven't got any homework, it's only stoopid revision'. If pressed about it he says "I'll do it over half term", but of course, he will have other things he wants to do next week (and I wanted to go to stay with rellies for a few days, pref without taking school stuff with us).

Then last night he said "well, I'm clever, I probably don't need to revise anyways". Now pride comes before a fall, as we all know, and half of me says 'let him get on with it his way, let him fail, and then see how he feels' - but I know he'll be devastated, and that's not quite responsible parenting, is it?

There is also a possibility that he'd do OK in most subjects even if he doesn't revise, but OK isn't what we would like for him ideally, and it's a bad habit to get into.

Now I know I was also very dilatory when it came to revision when I was in secondary school ... and looking back I know I could have done better, but that is what growing up is about.
But have you got any hints or tips to encourage, preferably without it being a HUUUUUGE battle every day.

I am thinking of saying 'no computer time until at least x mins of revision has been done each day', but is that just fighting talk ?

OP posts:

freerangeeggs · 30/05/2012 18:31

If I were you I wouldn't fight it. Let him sit on his arse and do nothing. Sometimes they learn more from failure than they do from success. I'm not trying to be rude or anything - that's genuinely what I'd do. It's better that he learns it now than later, when it matters.

You can lead a horse to water etc.

It's very damaging for kids to think that their academic achievements are due to an innate ability, as you're experiencing. Very, very little of it actually is. He's been taught well (clearly having a lovely mother who values his education has paid off thus far!) but if he wants to stay ahead he's going to have to up his game.

mirry2 · 30/05/2012 18:34

He probably needs to be brought down a peg or two about his cleverness. Let him do not so well in his exams this year and he'll learn.

Why does he think he's so clever anyway? He must have had other people telling him.

mumstoast · 30/05/2012 18:36

i luckly dont have this problem however DD use to get very annoyed with a friend who never revised however now in year 11 this friend hasnt managed to get by with no work and is now failing, it might sound harsh but leaving him to realise his brains wont take him all the way maybe the only to get it into his head

Bucharest · 30/05/2012 18:36

At that age, you don't.

They either do it, or they fail.

It's no longer your job to run round with the cotton wool.

And failing because of his own irresponsibility won't kill him. Probably be the making of him.

Madsometimes · 30/05/2012 18:37

I'm having the same problems with dd1 in Y7. She hasn't got a clue how to revise, and will need to work hard if she wants to do well. She just doesn't seem to know where to start, so procrastinates. She also thinks that revision is no homework.

Original poster

Clumsymum · 30/05/2012 18:42

"Why does he think he's so clever anyway? He must have had other people telling him."

Well, he got the highest scores in the Y6 SATS, his teachers at secondary school all praise his ability, at parents evening his English teacher told us (and him) that his reading and writing age scores were off the scale (equivalent to age 16+), he achieved a gold award in the national maths challenge, getting the highest score of all the y7 and y8 children in his school, during a lunchtime detention recently he was was working on Y10 physics homework, and doing quite well at it ... at home we do crosswords from the Times and the Telegraph, and he's starting to know more answers than I do

Need I go on ...

OP posts:

Bucharest · 30/05/2012 18:46

If he's that wonderful he won't need to revise then will he?

Original poster

Clumsymum · 30/05/2012 19:01

No, you mis-understand me .. I think it's bloody sickening too.

But that is how come he thinks he's so clever.

OP posts:

GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 19:06

I would never normally suggest sitting back and leaving a year 7/8/9 to it, as I think revision and exam practice needs to be learnt from somewhere.

However, he seems incredibly sure that he is not required to revise, that he has natural talent and ability and will sail through. Therefore, I would actully step back and leave him to it.

You could, of course, say that you expect certain grades from him (base these on what his teachers predict) and that if he doesnt acheive this then next year you will have to work with him to show him how to timetable revision and practice past papers etc.

Marni23 · 30/05/2012 19:08

Clumsy if it's any consolation, my DD had a similar attitude to revision for end of year exams in Y7, and wasn't much better in Y8. She's bright so always did ok in the exams-but nowhere near as well as she could have done. She too left revision till half-term, then realised how much she had to do and gave up.

At the end of Y8 her head of year had a word with her and said her results were disappointing, given what she's capable of, and I think she felt a bit foolish.

She's now in Y9 and is upstairs revising. She started a couple of weeks ago. I think a) she's grown up a bit and b) she has chosen her options and realises that GCSEs really aren't that far away now. She also wants to do well.

My advice would be, let your DS fail to do as well as he should. Let him take responsibility for his revision. Y7 exams really don't matter and he'll probably learn more from underachieving than he would from revising under duress. It's hard, but you have to let them take responsibility sometime.

Good luck!

pigsinmud · 30/05/2012 19:08

Well, he probably doesn't need to revise then.
I'd leave him to it. If he's devastated you can tell him how to do better next year, but it doesn't sound to me like that's going to happen.

My yr9 ds1 has his first lot of proper exams - as in, in the hall - this year. he hasn't done enough work. He'll get a wake up call and I'm sure he'll put more work in next year.

BeingFluffy · 30/05/2012 19:10

DD2 refused to revise when she was in year 7 last year. There is now a lot more peer group pressure and she is slowly figuring that praise from teachers are reserved for those who actually work. The school also threaten to move children "down" if they underperform (she is in the top class). Anyway she is at least now attempting to revise.

DD1 currently in year 11 has a similar attitude to your son. Her revision tends to be cramming the day (or night) before - even for her GCSEs. In the end there is nothing you can do. Hopefully if he doesn't do that well, that will be a wake up call and he will develop better habits. I think you can get away with just being clever up to GCSE to an extent, but after that it gets a lot harder.

mirry2 · 30/05/2012 19:10

OP he doesn't need to revise, but he does need to learn a bit of humility.

Ephiny · 30/05/2012 19:18

The thing is, that 'I'm too clever too need to revise' thing will catch up with him sooner or later. I was the same at that age, and actually got through GCSEs and A-levels with little effort (though not with the top grades I could/should have got) but it went very badly wrong when I got to my first year of university - I hadn't attended lectures regularly, or revised much, and in the end no amount of talent/intelligence can get around the fact that you just plain don't know the things you need to. Even smart people sometimes need to sit down and do the boring work of memorising facts, working through past papers etc.

It might be no bad thing to leave him to it, if he does get disappointing grades then that may be a lesson to him, and it's better he learns it now than in exams that really matter.

flamingtoaster · 30/05/2012 19:33

Clumsymum - I've PM'd you - it was a bit long for the board!

Hullygully · 30/05/2012 19:35

You can be as clever as you like, you still need to learn all the crap off by heart and spout it out and jump through the mad hoops. Tell him that.

reshetima · 30/05/2012 20:45

Our DS is also rather good at resting on his laurels and being a bit too big for his boots. He's Yr 9 now and has learned that he cannot manage on innate ability alone. Particularly in languages or maths, where some hard slog of learning vocab or methods is necessary. Nagging from us doesn't really work, but he does know that there's no screen time till he's done some revision. We parcel it out: he chooses one 'fun' revision (e.g. Latin quiz or Science mind-mapping - apologies to those who think that's the ultimate geekdom) and one 'boring' revision (e.g. French oral prep.). We don't check his work. So far it's been all on trust.

He has also had a gentle threat from the relevant teachers in the past at mid-year review that if he doesn't pull his socks up he'll get put down a set (that really works). What we also do is reward him for every challenge target met at the end of the year with a couple of pounds. I know some people think that's bribery. For us it's classed as motivation and so far it's worked very well.

basildonbond · 30/05/2012 20:51

neither of my ds's will revise - or at least what I consider to be 'proper' revision ... (I don't count flicking through a textbook in a desultory fashion )

but despite me assuming that at some point they'll learn their lesson, so far they've done very well in exams - not as well as they could do, but as well as they want to do. ds2 is in Y7 and had his exams a couple of weeks ago. He refused point blank to do any revision at all, but sailed through the exams getting around 90% or so in most of them and coming 2nd and 3rd in the year in his best subjects. dh said ' just think, if you'd done any work at all you might have come top' - ds2's answer: 'why would I want to do that when I can come 2nd with no work at all?' [tearing hair out emoticon]

I suspect that at some point they'll both hit a brick wall but at the moment they're both exceptionally bright with very good memories and that seems to be enough to get them through. Nothing I or their teachers say makes any difference so they're just going to have to learn the hard way - probably when they don't get the grades they want at AS level ...

so if I were you OP I'd leave him to it - give him the opportunity to revise, encourage him, but you can't force him ...

Honestyisbest · 30/05/2012 21:56

Leave him to it. HE may coast for a while, but if he's doing decent GCSE boards he will have to work at some point.

Umeboshi · 30/05/2012 22:26

Clumsymum I think you can get very far simply by talking with your DC. Show him respect explain to him that the decision ultimately lies with him, and he can not fulfil his potential if he so chooses -- but also talk through your own mistakes. Tell him how you feel now, looking back, that you did less well than you could have. (I was guilty myself of coasting, so know what that regret feels like...)

Second thing is to make it really clear to him that you are listening to him. Ask him to explain his reasoning in not revising. Question him more deeply to really get him to think about what he is doing and the direction he is heading in.

I completely agree with you that responsible parenting means at least attempting to offer guidance. Then it is up to him whether he listens...

Madsometimes · 31/05/2012 07:17

I also think that many Y7 children haven't got a clue how to revise, because they have never done it before. Y6 Sats do not need revision, and nor do the VR/NVR used in entrance exams. Children need to familiarise themselves with the question formats, and work on speed, but they do not need to learn streams of facts. French, science, history and geography subjects do need students to memorise facts, and my dd1 is not used to this at all, and completely underestimates how long it will take.

Hullygully · 31/05/2012 08:49

Absolutely Mad. It's a skill like any other that has to be taught and learnt.

Original poster

Clumsymum · 31/05/2012 09:03

Hi everyone.

I too remembernot really knowing how to revise at that age. But DS has one period per week of Study Skills at school, and I believe they are supposed to have gone through such matters with them there.

I think we need a formal 'family meeting' over dinner tonight (we do this from time-to-time when there is an important matter to discuss), to discuss this topic and my proposal to put some time monitoring software on his computer - I have another thread going about that.

OP posts:

Hullygully · 31/05/2012 09:08

I taught mine how to revise, and exam techniques. I don't think they listen at school!

wordfactory · 31/05/2012 09:20

Well I wouldn't just leave it to your DS as some have suggested. If he's clever there's a chance he will do well enough and learn nothing from the experience.

If I were you I would approach it like anyhting else that he simply has to do, no questions asked.
Sit him down and say 'let's make your revision timetable.' Then let him figure out (with assistance) what subject he will do on what day.
After each session on the timetable, ask him what he actually did and test him.

Once htis becomes a habit of an exam-taking lifetime, he'll be away .

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