A few questions about Grammar schools

[BelleTheBeatnik]

DD1 is a few years off secondary yet, but as we're expecting to move soon-ish (from York to Oxfordshire) we've been discussing schools. We're not really keen on private schools, so have decided to rule them out unless we have suitable no alternative.

However, at a recent Parent's Evening, the teacher suggested Grammar schooling, as she thinks DD1 - bright and academic, not particularly sporty/artistic/musical - will thrive in that sort of enviroment.

I'm not really asking about suggestions for good schools, because we're not 100% about the exact area we're moving to yet. However, we have no experience of the Grammar system - and so I've turned to the wisdom of the Mumsnet!

So, to those of you that work at/have children at/went to a Grammar school... (And I appreciate that every school/child is different, so it's difficult to answer these questions.)

What are the pros/cons?
What do they offer that is significantly different to other types of schools?

Only a few things are putting me off. I'm worried about the pressure students are put under to achieve certain grades - while I of course want DD to try her best, I don't want her to feel like not getting a certain grade makes her a failure. I also worry about the lack of diversity, because I think school is a great place to interact with different types of people, which teacher children to be tolerance of different. Is this an issue with Grammar school, or am I just picking faults for no reason?

Sorry for the long OP. TIA for any replies :)

You got me Yellow. I've been lying about the age of my son and how many children I have :)

:o at your obvious delight at your gotcha moment.

I have two children. They aren't 5 now. I posted that they have been doing Kumon SINCE they were 5. I usually mention my oldest because he is the oldest and things happen to him first.

I'm curious as to why you would think that I would lie about how many kids I have and how old they are.

I'm lost. I was too lazy to look at the other thread just had a hazy idea that you had one small DS.

I went to a grammar school in Kent. It was ok - quite enjoyed it. I was in the middle there and felt neglected - clever ones got all the glory and the bottom ones got the encouragement, but perhaps that is the curse of the middle anywhere! I never felt any pressure - it was just school. I did feel like a failure though as I wasn't one of the glory ones.

My brother still lives there and he was so keen for his boys to go to a gs(my brothers went to local comp). However, he has seen both sides as his eldest child got in no problem, but younger one didn't. He ended up at local "comprehensive" and it is not good. When you compare facilities it is unbelievable. Not sure he is so keen on them now.

I disagree with their existence now though and am thoroughly relieved I live in an area where we don't have them. I just don't understand why you have to take 25% of children to a different school to teach them.

Kent is not being honest when it calls its non-selective schools Comprehensives - they aren't by definition. They are secondary moderns, but the fact that they won't use the word reminds you just how much the system of grammar v secondary modern was hated back in the 50s,60s and 70s. Grammar schools were fine until your child failed.

Bizarrely, the non-selective schools in Kingston-upon-Thames are referred to as 'modern' on both league tables and ofsted reports. Though with the 2 superselectives taking only a very small percentage of local children, they are much more comprehensive than schools in other areas that are referred to as 'comprehensive'.