For those who held onto offers at Eton and Westminster until the last minute.

[Colleger]

Id be interested to know if more parents end up going for Eton in the end and when they relinquished the other place. So I don't agree with holding onto two places but I am resigned to the fact that this happens. So I won't bash anyone for it, I just want to work out how likely my child will move off the waiting list and when it will happen.

The exams were on the same day. Or were in our time. So you can't apply to both. Were you thinking of scholarship exam for one and common entrance for the other? Preps will have separate classes for each.

Hope you get good news soon.

I thought parents aren't allowed to hold onto two places at this late stage as CE papers can be sent only to one school, and they're obliged to make a final decision no later than early March...

I'm not asking for this year. I'm asking for the term lent term before they sit common entrance or scholarship. Was that the point the place was given up and did you opt for Eton or Westminster or know what other parents opted for.

I'm trying to ascertain if more places will come available at Eton or at Westminster as I know lots of parents hold onto both places.

I dont think it will be lots. However I know one boy who sat on two places till the last minute, eg Easter, as he decided between London Day and boarding.

Boys change quite fast at this age, and if you have the money I assume it's nice to have the luxury of delaying your choice. A real homebody at 11 can be dying to get away from home at 13. Or be heavily involved in an out of school activity and so want to stay in London.

I assume schools factor this into their numbers. They make money out of it.

I only know about parents at full/weekly boarding preps so maybe its easier to make a decision because your likely to want boarding again so that might rule out schools like Westminster as there are not that many boarders relatively speaking or St Pauls a handful of boarders. But I've never heard of anyone holding onto two places I would have thought most prep school heads strongly discourage it because I understand the senior schools don't take it well when you pull out.

I understood that parents have to choose which school they have settled on by the end of February, as that is when you have to let the ISEB know which school will be marking your DCs CE papers.

It is possible to change your mind after that time, but I wouldn't imagine that schools like Westminster and Eton would hold places for people in case they changed their minds later.

FWIW it was during the first week in March that we heard that DS had been promoted from the Eton waiting list and had a place, so that seems to confirm that there is some movement at that time. I know how hard it is just having to wait.

I know boys who are holding places at West, Win, Eton and St Paul's and plan to do so until the last term. You'd have thought they could have narrowed it down to two - a boarding and a day school!

Last term before incurring a fee charge.

I agree that seems very strange behaviour. I can imagine wanting to go and look at all of them, if you have a bright child, but I would have thought that there is enough difference between the schools to be able to decide straight away which one is best for your DC, and maybe keep two if, as you say, you are not sure about boarding. One wonders what it is the parents are actually looking for, and also how much say the DCs have in the process.

Ok, confession here, we held onto two places for ages. But it was boarding v day, so are we forgiven? We knew one school of the two tends to over offer slightly but also has a waiting list. So I didn't feel v guilty.

And it wasn't Eton and Westminster.

And what the hell does a child say when asked at interview why he really wants to go to Eton/Win Coll/St Pauls/Westminster or wherever else he's being interviewed for. It stricks me the parents are choosing the individual school because they really want Henry to go there but just because these are super selective big names. My DS only tried for two and one of those only because it was my DH old school. We got both and spent ages agonising over it so how on earth do you decide if you get 4?

For all those holding onto a place: ask yourself what school would you have been most upset about not receiving an offer from. The answer should spring to mind pretty quickly and that's your school. Turn down the rest!

Of course I do get the boarding v day argument.

I know of one boy (out of 3 in his class) who was promoted from the waiting list in March, having sat a further assessment last November. Otherwise, I understand most parents make their decision in September (a year before entry) as they are under pressure from headmasters to free up places for waiting list boys

It hadn't occurred to me that Headmasters would be wanting parents to decide in order to free up a place for another child in their school.

Isn't it very expensive holding onto places? Don't you have to pay a deposit within a short time of being offered a place - and not just a small amount but £000's?

Colleger, that's a tremendous way in putting it - and you're right, of course!

. . . . I mean in selecting which school and freeing up the others.

There must be someway to stop this its unsatisfactory for the those sitting and hoping on a waiting list and ultimately unsatisfactory for the schools themselves. Years ago a friend pulled his DS out of a "big name school" in the michaelmas term before CE. He felt he had a legitimate reason; he'd moved house and wanted his DS to go to a closer school but was very surprised at how angry the first school was and that was before there was quite so much pressure on places. I suspect the only way is for all schools to release offers at the same time and I suppose publish/make available a list of those who've accepted a place. As we're only talking about a relative handful of schools I wouldn't have thought it would be that difficult to administer.

I wonder if the schools could ask prep school heads to confirm if this is the only offer for the type of school (boarding or day) that the child holds. I agree with others that holding one boarding and one day place might be justified or even two day places if you are trying to move and one is near your new address.

Our prep school head has already made it clear in Yr4 (school registration season) that he does not think it is at all helpful to put your child down for too many schools so I don't think he would be terribly impressed by the West, Win, Eton and StP scenario.

Prep heads have to think about their credibility with the senior schools too.

Im not sure I agree about the boarding versus day thing we talking about 11 yr olds not 8 yr olds I think it's just an excuse. Surely you either want boarding or you don't. I know our prep head would not have been happy for children to be holding 2-4 places for more than a year.

I am not holding places for my youngest but I am in a quandary about boarding verses day. I am pro boarding but my son is very musical and cannot have the musical education he needs whilst at a boarding school. There are some excellent music departments in the top schools but if you want to be a musician then you can't fit the practice schedule in whilst at boarding school. We won't decide until the last minute if music is the way to go and if it is then a day school will be best. If he wants to give up on music then boarding school would be our option.

Keeping, I sympathise with your pov and pre Ds I would prob have echoed it. Now I bear the scars. Fortunately both schools were charming about it.

Colleger, one of Ds's peers has just gone to Eton on a music scholarship. I'm pretty sure he's performance diploma or whatever it is at piano, g8 was a long time ago, and 5 or more in at least one or more others, violin I think and something else. His parents must have come to some arrangement because I can't see the young man giving up practice time. Don't know if you could do the same.

i agree with keeping our head would not have been happy for parents to hold on to multiple places in fact he even discouraged parents from trying for more than one super selective!

I agree with spendthrift. I am interested in your comment that he cannot have the musical education he needs whilst at boarding school.

If he is truly gifted then specialist music schools will want to take him - as a boarder.
Who is providing the education he "needs" at the moment? What is your definition of need?
Do you feel the need to supervise his music practice?
My experience as a music teacher working in a boarding environment, has shown that musicians who want to practise will always find time to practise. Those who are playing an instrument or instruments to please their parents or because their parents insist on it, quickly find other passions and interests and

As far as I understand the "gifted musicians" find the time to practice at my DS's boarding school and every year I believe some continue music at highly regarded institutions so they must have found the time to practice! I suspect marylou is right whether it be sport music drama art its all about your individual motivation and boarding gives the uninterested/ unmotivated an excellent excuse to give something up!